Girls/women on the spectrum and research troubles...

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So, here I am taking a bit of a stab in the dark. I normally don’t post on forums since I’m usually nervous or don’t know what to say (I usually type out drafts of what I’ll type beforehand...because meehhhh reasons). Anyways long time lurker, first time poster over here!

(Figured I didn’t have much to lose posting this...even though I honestly don’t think this thing will get really many, if any responses...kinda my luck with forums when I do actually manage to post on them lol)

Anywhos, I started wanting to do research on ADHD (I have a diagnosis of that and also anxiety too)...anyways various events later and readings I became increasingly interested in autism with women (it just clicked and like I found it disturbingly under researched and so yea I was just basically like- ‘Where my ladies at?!’).

I’m currently doing my masters in UK and I’m attempting to…(rather unsuccessfully mind you) to do my final research/dissertation project on the experiences, specifically early childhood experiences of girls/women on the spectrum. This has not gone as smoothly as I had expected to say the least. I’ve been met with the inability to seemingly meet a lot of women on the spectrum or families with girls/women on the spectrum to speak with ( :/ though that could be due to my own issues of social awkwardness or the fact that I still have no clue where the hell to look in this city as a foreigner lol...also my overwhelming anxiety about this project has manifested itself into profound adhd laziness and procrastination...I’ve been honestly avoiding it a lot due to well...feelings...so maaaannny feelings), and also have at least (in my opinion) been met with some ermmm...resistance? On the part of my supervisor (like my supervisor is well meaning and a nice person but hooolllyyy smokes are they pretty much useless and not helpful at all...they’re an apparent ‘expert’ on autism but it’s unfortunately male autism...yea they were really surprised to hear about females with autism -___-“ so yea the dude just seems to stare at me like I’m an alien most of the time or like not even take what I’m saying seriously it seems or like idk just approach it with skepticism or distrust...at least that’s how I feel it’s like...again I’m probably reading into this or like jumping to conclusions idk...but my supervisor feels ‘judgy’ is what I guess I’m trying to say here...dear god I hope to baby Jesus they don’t see this post...lmao).

Anywhos, apologies for the rants and ramblings and also the length of this post...it’s becoming obscene so I’ll try to wrap it up here soon!

My question is...where is someone like me supposed to find women to talk to about this? Because aside from one woman (which was amazing, she was amazing) I’m here nervously wringing my hands, picking at my nails, and counting my fingers (it’s a thing...it’s weird I know) counting down the calendar days until my dissertation (which I’ve not even started on lol) is due.

I mean there’s the option to conduct a survey...but good god I really don’t want to do a survey if I don’t have to -____-“ I just find them...impersonal and like too open to potential issues like false info.

Also, I’m feeling as if I fell face first down the rabbit hole with this project because a lot of what I’ve heard already or read really really really has been resonating with me...so like I’ve been pretty much for months been revisiting my own past, and my own life and have been analyzing it, and am also just wondering about myself possibly having HF or something...idk it’s just a lot of things this damn project has opened up for me and idk if it’s just like an anxiety thing on my part or just some kind of adhd overlap with autism...but yea it’s made me also wonder about a lot of things about myself. Basically this project has become quite personally and emotionally heavy...like HEEEAAAVVVYYY!

Perhaps, I’ve bit off more than I can chew here I don’t know...but I’ve literally hit kind of a brick wall with this and it’s really stressing me out and everything is kind of mentally exhausting right now if I’m honest lol.


Sooo...alas! I figured I’d post safely, and semi anonymously online for help and feedback here…(I figured an online forum focused on women would be appropriate considering that well...I’m a woman lol and also considering the nature of the work I’m trying to do lol)

I’d honestly love to get some kind of advice...any really on this or what to do...and hell if there’s any ladies out there who’d even be interested in contributing to the work I’d love to speak with you either online (messages, Skype, email, whatever) or irl (I’m in U.K. and travel wouldn’t be an issue...also I promise I’m not a creeper >___>” and I hope you wouldn’t be either since I don’t especially feel like being murdered and turned into dog food...just saying).

So, yea here goes nothing...behold my perilous research journey and my neuroticism! Anyone care to throw me a life jacket here? Lol

The best kind of thesis supervisor is one who be a mentor, provide encouragement, offer informed suggestions and honest feedback. It doesn't sound as there is much rapport between you and your supervisor, or is that a false impression I gained from what you wrote?

You have time on your side, it might be best to start over.

I don't think any murder victims have ended up as dog food in the UK. I have heard the factories dog foods are processed in are quite thorough as to standards. Pedigree Chum in particular sounds much better than the factories I've worked in packing things for human consumption.

Feel free to ask me anything you like. Early childhood? I recommend getting together some exact questions, maybe specifying women in a particular age group or having more than one and comparing (this would be interesting) as the same behavour is seen differently by different generations.

First off thank you for the reply! Makes me feel good when I see there is actually one lol so again thank you!

Sadly, there really isn’t any time to start over since my research and ethic proposal have already been approved etc. and it’s all due in like 4 months. Dx

Also, my supervisor like I said is a nice guy and all just ermm kinda...well he has the personality of a turnip basically and the schedules are a joke at this uni since I literally see him only once every other month for an hour (this total of 15 hrs with a supervisor for like the whole of a project thing is so bizarre to me as an American and coming from a undergrad degree with really amazing and supportive staff...) but yea nice guy like he’s polite and everything just idk just doesn’t seem to really get what I’m doing or seem to be engaged or interested in it. Also, he’s a major stickler for procedure and the very by the book type...and well I’m the type that says “burn the book, write a new one...one with pictures!”. So, yea personality wise we’re very different people.

Like I said though time is unfortunately not on my side and alas I have to just push and muddle my way through it. (Honestly I shouldn’t have even gone for this degree in the first place as I didn’t realize it was so research heavy lol and I am not a research/academia minded person xD I come from a creative background...)

Anyways, I’m not even worried about doing well tbh I’ll be happy if I can just pass the course and get my overpriced piece of paper and just finish the damn thing without giving myself grey hair and an ulcer lol.

It just sucks as I’m really interested in the topic and the project it’s just idk I seem to be the only one who is xD and it’s disheartening to say the least and yea also like I said time crunch...

Also, good idea on that btw and I’ve definitely considered that. The one person/group I have managed to speak to is a mother with daughters but alas she’s the only one :/ so...I’m continuing to try and network with people (god I’m terrible at networking lol) and obviously search for advice from mediums like this which seem to be pretty helpful so far...at the very least I don’t feel so crap anymore soooo...also that’s interesting about the dog food thing lol xD I don’t think the states honest to god have any standards for food and probably not pet food. But yea good to know I won’t get eaten by Fido should I manage to meet someone off this thing.

There’s a group in London called Danda for neurodiverse people. I don’t go there anymore but there should be people there able to put you in touch with autistic women of different ages and abilities. Ask to speak to Nick. There were a couple of women who worked for Goldman Sachs who went there, though I think they just did stuff more along the lines of data entry.

Oh my goodness thank you smudge! Seriously, I would have never even heard of that group otherwise! Lol in the matter of a day you guys have managed to help me more with my project than my supervisor or uni have helped me this whole year lol not to mention this glimmer of hope is somewhat elevating my crippling anxiety so again thanks guys I wish I could like...idk bake you cupcakes right now I’m so grateful. Also, it’s so nice to at the very least know someone kinda cares or atleast have someone to talk to lol >___>” even if it’s complete strangers. What I’m trying to say is again thank you guys! <3 I really appreciate it! Gaaahhh...I feel all gushy and warm now lol.

You’re very welcome! I’ve just remembered, there is another group called Northern Lights that is based in Barnet. The atmosphere there is quite a jolly one, I recommend it as well as Danda.

If my state of mind was better, I wouldn’t mind being interviewed myself. Good luck with everything.

Awhh! I’ll definitely check that one out as well! Thank you smudge! <3 and I hope your state of mind gets better :3 and yea again thank you so much! I really appreciate it!

I wouldn't mind helping you by answering some questions, if I can. Feel free to send me a pm