Do you get upset when someone arrives late? And why?

Post Reply New Topic

It upsets me when people change their plans, especially at the last minute, arriving too late or too early. I hate a distraction to my routine, and interacting with people always makes me feel nervous to various degrees, depends on the situation and who I'm dealing with.

Does it upset you too? And what are your reasons?

I do terribly! although I'm not really gonna show it to avoid "drama", unless it becomes too usual or common. Then it annoys me even more and it gets harder to hide being upset I think. Now, depending on the culture, I think even NT's don't like people being late. But I guess it's even more upsetting for aspies!
To the question "why", I'd say I'm upset because I've planned something and then it gets dropped so I'm a bit wondering what I'm gonna do. I feel like I'm stuck and I could have done something else planned at that time instead of another time. Well I think you get me, everything is disturbed. I would even say that my routine is disturbed and it annoys me.
It's funny I say that now because I used to think I was pretty flexible but I'm actually not. It's just that over time, I developped "strategies" to adapt to some people who happen to be always late (or to adapt to anything that might disturb my routine). And sometimes even the "strategies" don't work.

yup. i get very pissy. i try to hide it tho cos I'm sometimes also late ahah

Yes! I think it's very disrespectful.

I think it's disrespectful, too. It also throws the schedule of a meeting way off when people are chronically late. I hate being late and behind schedule.

I can't stand it when someone is habitually late. It shows a complete lack of respect for my time. Most people I have encountered are not known for their punctuality.

I also get annoyed when people constantly change or cancel their plans with me at the last minute. It is understandable if the person is usually good about actually getting together with me and only cancels once in awhile. If a person cancels every time we try to get together then it is safe to say they aren't interested in going beyond the acquaintance stage of the relationship.

Sure do, mostly because it's like breaking a deal. If you say you're here at 13, you better be here at 13. Of course, five minutes to one direction or the other isn't something to be upset about, ten is still tolerable but fifteen minutes, the so called academic quarter, is where the line goes. If you're gonna be more than fifteen minutes early or late, you must inform about it. If you're not on time because you're stuck in the traffic then it's not entirely your fault, but it's bad manners to not inform the person waiting for you about it.

Even more than that, I'm annoyed by people who say they'll be there "around 13." Like okay, does that mean 12.30? 13? 13.30? I've learned that it depends on the person, so these days I tell people to be more specific.

And worst of all are the people who just say: "I'l stop by on X day." WHAT TIME!? I won't be able to focus on my own things at all since I can't start anything too important that shouldn't be interrupted and I won't know how much time I have to handle my routines etc. before the person shows up... my mom knows it's not okay to show up without a warning, but everyone else still need to work on it...

Last-minute changes to events drive me crazy, especially when the person doesn't let me know ahead of time that they're going to be late for a good reason.

My brother has driven my whole family crazy for doing this. But I think much of the blame can be put on his wife and stepdaughters, who are always changing their minds at the last minute when he brings them along.

The taxi drivers where I live are the worst. If I need to get somewhere in a certain amount of time I need to call them at least half an hour early. But I shouldn't complain too much since most of the drivers understand English, have a decent sense of direction, and didn't come from a place where everyone thinks driving like a lunatic is perfectly sane and normal.

I get disproportionately thrown by people arriving late or early. For me it's a big mental changeover when people arrive, and it's much easier to cope with if I know when it's going to happen.

Yes, I get very irritated, especially by lateness. It is very discourteous, I think, for someone with whom one has made a specific arrangement to arrive late. It implies that they consider their own time and convenience to be of greater importance than mine. Of course, there can be extenuating circumstances when some emergency or genuinely unforeseeable event intervenes. But otherwise, I make it a point of principle to be punctual myself, and I think others should too. This usually requires some sacrifices on my part to make sure that I am not late, and I don't see why some other people won't make the same sacrifices too.

I sometimes like to invite a group of people to dinner at my house, and I hate it when there is one person who shows up substantially late, with no good excuse. Sometimes timings of the cooking of dishes can be critical, and it can throw out the entire schedule, possibly ending with a dish being spoiled, if one person arrives late. When I am invited to an event for 7:00pm, or whatever, I show up at 7:00pm on the dot, and I wish others would do the same.

Logically I know I shouldn't care quite so much, but the second the clock hits the agreed time, I go and open my front down do check for the arrival. After that the anxiety rises and I pace the house, drink coffees, smoke, check outside front door again and repeat.

Only and only if I've prepared things in some certain extent, and expecting a bit too much about it -- yes, I'd be upset.
Usually, I don't plan or have to prepare myself to some extent. The more I effort on preparations, the more impatient I'll be.

Otherwise, none of it. I can do better than simply tolerate one's lack of punctuality in general. I could get along with it. Even better if communication lines are open between parties -- I'd be the one who initiates them all, and hold their hands even.


Fun Fact: There's a term called "Filipino Time".

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Not any more "upset" than NTs

Emotions are : happy, sad, angry, surprised, scared

Anger is not inferior to happiness

Sometimes situations occur that can't possibly or can't reasonably be avoided

For example, car crash

Usually I don't ask why someone is late

They might like, or they might show how little they value prioritize me

For example I did not ask why the instructor was late. But the former instructor told me he was late because " I had diaper duty". But that is not a good excuse. On the other hand if he had a good excuse, then I would not have had the authority to help anyways

So it's just easier to not ask why

I can't stand a change in routine or plans. It always throws me off and I really badly want to have things go the way they were supposed to.