Cynical lack of compassion

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I read threads by people talking about how miserable they are, stuff they can't accomplish, disabilities etc. In what just seems like a boo hoo I need pity kind of way.

There's so much I could boo hoo over and just I have never seen the point in it. When I see others constant whoa is me posts I just don't feel sorry for them. It seems like mostly crybaby stuff.

I'm often tempted to write something sarcastic that would get me trouble. Does that make me a bad person, evil or whatever?

I don't think you are in anyway a bad person! Honestly, from the little I do know about you, I'm surprised you manage to contain your frustrations.

The fact that you don't allow your feelings to tempt you to write something sarcastic shows maturity and humility my love.

You contain yourself because you are able to rise above those frustrations and say - it really isn't worth it. This is commendable in itself.

Yes it is hard to find compassion when it seems like others are just being cry babies and haven't had anywhere near the difficulties you or others have had.

I try to thank my lucky stars I have had the resilience and resources to overcome my own struggles when these moments pull me towards unhelpful thoughts and feelings.

But you are human Esra and allowed to feel anyway you wish - it is our burden (being human).

Resisting the temptation to say something that might be unhelpful or hurtful is a kind of compassion too.

Depression has led me to the Pit of Eternal Whining many times in the past. Neither hurtful, sarcastic comments nor cheesy platitudes ever helped me to climb out; in fact, they very often just confirmed my worst fears and helped to keep me there. There were a lot of folks who I wished would just have kept their opinions to themselves. If someone is in a bad way, however self-inflicted it might seem, the least we can do is to not do anything which might make it worse.

I think that each of us has a limited supply of compassion, so we all have our own different feelings about who deserves it - and some people drain it faster than others. I skip giving advice in certain people's threads because I remember how little I used to listen to advice and how ungrateful I used to be - I bear no grudges to the people who walked away from me because their good will was twisted to fit my story of being persecuted and yet more whining. It doesn't usually take me long to suss out which people are simply not going to listen, because I've been there and I know every trick in the book. If we only have so much compassion to go around, it is best saved for those people and situations where it might actually do some good. But starting a flame war isn't a very constructive use of my time, either.

So you're not a bad or evil person, Ezra; WP is a better place for having you here - you're just much wiser than I was in my youth!

No, the fact you’re tempted but don’t means you are strong. I might be biased though, because I feel the same way.

Some humans might believe if they fuss long enough, someone will “rescue” them.

The rest of us have our hands full “rescuing” ourselves.

Yes , you are a bad evil whatever person and will burn in hell alongside me

Our challenge as human beings is to figure out how and where to expend our energy. There's nothing wrong with feeling no compassion for someone who won't help themselves, but there is something wrong with saying or doing anything that may possibly harm them.

So your impulses don't make you a bad person, Ezra. But acting on them, possibly would.

I think as I got older, I was able not only to let something go where I knew I wouldn't make a positive difference, but also to understand that the person I was contemplating did deserve compassion - compassion I didn't have to spare. It actually warms my heart that some WP members do make the effort when I can't. It may be futile, but it warms my heart to see them try.

It's hard to feel compassion for someone who disregards your advice, and insults you to boot.

That's a bit aggressive , where does EzraS say he opens his mouth? He says nothing , read his post again. It's not people like EzraS who are at fault in your scenario.

You're missing the point, which is that Ezra largely DOES keep his mouth shut in the case of people who might be five minutes away from suicide.

But what about someone who is five minutes from suicide for months and years at a time? I don't think we should egg them on, but it's obvious that caring sharing just feeds a bottomless pit.

It takes energy to care ... I have limited amounts of that.

If only we could all be as empathetic as you.

People need empathy. Yes they do. They need support. And we must not abandon people.

But people also need to stand on their own two feet sometimes. Otherwise, they'll get nowhere.

No, it just makes you different than them.

While there likely are many people who have it worse and thus more to potentially complain about, the people who are venting their depressive thoughts here over & over are self convinced that their problems are THE WORST and that they cannot do anything about them and that they are justified in their ramblings. Their own self perception is different than yours, and their reactions to themselves and how they express it here are different than yours. Further, their coping mechanisms & the effectiveness of any treatment measures they're utilizing are certainly different from yours. That's it that's all. It doesn't mean that the things they write here are any less real to them than anything you or I write. Trust me, if they could have a different outlook, they would. None of them are choosing to have the thoughts, feelings, and reactions to them that they are. They simply haven't learned what they need to to overcome them yet.

At least you have the restraint not to call it like you see it. I, if you haven't noticed, do not & will openly call out some of the absurd distorted thoughts that get posted here as being the distorted depressive perceptions of reality that they are. People here think I'm an as*hole for it, and that's fine, they can think whatever they want of me. It doesn't change what I think about someone else' nearly incoherent rambling about the whole world being against them or whatever such nonsensical distorted thinking they're going on about & I'm a-okay with being transparent about it. I know I'm not a "bad person, evil or whatever," despite the personal attacks & insults some think it's perfectly acceptable to call me.

Thanks for the responses everyone. Usually when I make a post here I'm at a low point and the rest of the time I'm not struggling with whatever. When I wrote my original post, I had certain thoughts in my head regarding someone else's posts, and then thought to myself "man you're really some cold hearted bastard you know that?". The thought was kind of half self condemning and half sarcastic in nature. And also there's things I don't grasp well when it comes interpreting this sort of stuff. I think my autism also causes me to be detached in a way that makes me somewhat apathetic or indifferent or whatever in a way.

Yes there's that one.



Agreed. If people had just felt sorry for me and pampered me to no end, there's a lot I would not have accomplished and I would be a much weaker person.