When a person treats you like their archenemy

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ladyelaine
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10 Jun 2018, 4:51 pm

My sister and I have both dealt with people that treated us like their archenemies. These people refuse to be happy when we experience success and they love to see us fail. These people are extremely competitive with us and love to make since remarks to us. These people love trying to start drama with us.

Have any of you had people like that in your lives?



HistoryGal
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11 Jun 2018, 11:46 am

Yes



Fnord
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11 Jun 2018, 1:59 pm

Yes.

Primary School: Bullies who felt that I was making them look stupid, so they tried to beat the smart out of me.

High School: More sophisticated bullies who tried to incriminate me for crimes that I hadn't committed.

University: More subtle bullies who tried to coerce me into either doing their homework for them, letting them cheat off my tests, or stealing the exam answer keys for them.

Navy: People who tried to get me killed after a vice-admiral recognized me for my actions, and who then admonished them publically for their inaction (I volunteered for a lot of extra duty to deal with the grief of losing 6 relatives -- duties that no one else wanted).

Career: Any combination of the above.



liminal
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13 Jun 2018, 9:03 pm

I found this video a few months ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG0W0MBbBn8

Which distinguishes between toxic relationships and ambivalent relationships. When someone is toxic, you know to avoid them. But what if someone is supposed to be your friend, but they never seem to be happy for you?

Talks about the dangers of ambivalent relationships and how to recognise them.


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Syd
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14 Jun 2018, 12:42 am

Once someone shows a bit of jealousy or envy, I cut them out of my life.

There's no forgiveness, no mercy, I'm just done with them.

Life is short; I don't have time for negativity.



underwater
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14 Jun 2018, 2:44 am

liminal wrote:
I found this video a few months ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG0W0MBbBn8

Which distinguishes between toxic relationships and ambivalent relationships. When someone is toxic, you know to avoid them. But what if someone is supposed to be your friend, but they never seem to be happy for you?

Talks about the dangers of ambivalent relationships and how to recognise them.


That was an interesting video. I'm not sure one ought to be so strict with people - in that they have to support everything you do - but when people are not happy about your life getting better, it's really obvious.

I've cut out friends that seemed to stay in contact with me just to have someone to look down on. Recently, my life got a lot better, and I've realized I'm losing some people, who only liked me when I was unhappy. I'd have thought I could be a support to them, once I had my life together, but apparently they prefer bonding over dissatisfaction to actually improving their lives. The jealousy is obvious. I don't know how they can find it in their heart to be jealous of an autistic person - I mean, really? But apparently they are able to be jealous of my successes while completely ignoring my horrible failures.

People like that are not worth having around.


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ladyelaine
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14 Jun 2018, 9:35 am

I have had plenty of people in my life that only wanted to look down on me and my family. When we got our first house when I was a kid, people got bent out of shape because we were no longer poor ladyelaine's family that lived in an apartment. At the same time there were people that wanted us in their social circles and churches once we got a house. Both of those types of people suck. I still struggle to understand how anyone can be jealous of an autistic person like myself or my family members. I struggle with making friends and I don't have any extended family. I have gotten taken advantage of way too often. I always get ostracized everywhere I go.