What's the point for Aspie men to date?

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I'm 34 years old and I never have been in a long term relationship.In fact I haven't even dated a woman.Lets be real,there's really not much of a chance that a Aspie men will ever date due to our Aspergers/Autism alone. I don't know that statistics,but if I had to guess the % of Aspie men who ever have been in relationship,I say it's about a 5 to maybe 10% chance.I have asked a lot of women out,but I haven't even gotten to a point getting to date them.I think it's pointless for men with Aspergers/Autism to even try date women considering the chances for us ever being in a relationship are so low.I have even gotten rejected by Aspie women and those same Aspie women end up dating NT males.What do everyone think?Do you believe it's pointless for Aspie men to even try to date women,being that chances are so low?

Last edited by rick42 on 20 Jun 2018, 11:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I guess you have to way up the cost/benefit of trying, for you personality. Everyone's weighting is going to be different.

It's definitely not pointless for all aspie men. But it might be pointless or near pointless for one who doesn't really care much about having a partner anyway, and finds the search exhausting and painful, for example.

I asked out LOTS of women & had no luck but bad. I have various disabilities besides autism limiting me thou. I met both my exes & current girlfriend on online forums. The ladder two were on this one. I never done the whole dating thing thou. I think I kind of skipped that step which is probably a good thing cuz I likely would of blown it.

Quality over quantity, my dude. Look for women with whom you may have shared interests and compatible personality traits. Don't just ask all the women and hope one of them might say yes. I'm an aspie guy, currently in a relationship with an aspie girl.

Oh, and even if your chances are low statistically, your chances will be reduced to zero by giving up comepletely.

Here's the thing.I have even asked out several of Aspie women and the results were the same.Lets be real.You are one of the lucky few who have find a girlfriend.Statically speaking,only 5 to 10% of Aspie men ever have a girlfriend.It's very close to 0% for a Aspie man to ever have a girlfriend(Not to mention that Aspie men greatly outnumber Aspie women 4:1).It's far more realistic for a Aspie man to live a reclusive/hermit life than to ever have a girlfriend.I'm 34 years old now and lets be honest,some Aspie women don't really even like Aspie men.I really don't see a point for Aspie men to even bother looking for a relationship with a woman considering the odds for us to ever have a girlfriend are extremely low.

Where do these %s come from? I’m married.

That's a horrendous understatement. Have a read here:

"In a study done by Toronto’s Redpath Centre, just 32.1 percent of people with autism had had a partner and only 9 percent were married." (source)

Also, FYI, I don't represent the 32.1% of autistic people that have had a girlfriend, but in all honesty, I'm past the point of caring to actively look for love. I'm content enough living my life as a single - depressing though it occasionally gets - and I certainly don't intend to thoughtlessly fill what's ultimately a negligibly small void, especially when my odds of finding someone compatible are equally small. But if I do find someone compatible down the road, I'll take it without complaint. It's all about perspective.

From a guess.

I think many Aspies just take longer to mature socially. I found it much easier to socialize in my 30s and 40s because I had lots of travel experience I didn't have in my 20s. That gave me something to talk about and made me more interesting.

That's a really good answer.

Maybe you need to consider your approach and the way you might come across.

I’m an Aspie woman who prefers Aspie men. It’s easier to talk to someone who can relate to my struggles.

With that being said, I would be put off by rudeness, and I wouldn’t want to date someone that I didn’t know or wasn’t already friends with. You might want to consider trying to broaden your group of friends (even on here).

Also, maybe a friend in real life can give you some pointers.

Personally I believe men with Asbegrers/Autism should not even bother trying to be in a relationship with a woman.It's a lost cause.I'm 34 years old,never been in a relationship, and even Aspie Women rejected me, despite of the fact I'm not fat/obese,have a good job, and have a good personality. Other men with other disabilities have a far better chance at having a girlfriend than Aspie men becasue atleast they are not seen as stupid,awkward,a freak,cold hearted,etc,and men with other disabilities don't significantly outnumber women that have the same disability. The odds for us to have a girlfriend are extremely low and it's doesn't really improve with age.

Would you date an aspie whos on disability?

Yes, but I am a romantic who believes in True Love. I’m sure there’s others like me.

There’s no shame in being on disability. I applied for it myself. You gotta do what you gotta do. It doesn’t make you less of a person.

You’d probably have an easier time relating to a woman who also has a disability - preferably ASD. Often, NTs just don’t get it. I’m not saying it can’t happen, though.

Just keep trying to build a social network and explore your interests. A girl will come along at some point.

With that type of attitude, you won’t find anyone.

You need to keep a positive attitude, continue to work on your difficulties (perhaps with a therapist), and grow in areas you enjoy. If you can enjoy a special interest by joining a group or class, that’d be a great way to meet people - even women.

You could try the mail-order bride route if you have the money & resources. Or you could find a girl who needs a place to stay if you have your own places. I would of done either one of those things if I was in a position to when I was single.