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New here. I am coming to terms with the fact my child is different. Socially he struggles but he is incredibly brilliant. I am trying not to be disappointed in parents who reject my child for playdates but am failing. There is so much judgement on me and our whole family. Just looking for people who understand. My son is only 5 and doesn't quite understand Aspergers. I feel lost emotionally as a mother. I want to help him and understand. He was diagnosed with a spectrum disorder. He definitely is a high functioning autistic child.

What hurts even more is my father is a scientist with a PHd and no social skills who loved 6 kids. My nephew can crunch math equations with him at age 7. Like 3.14 times 22 multiplied by....I never had the gene. My husband thinks he has aspergers when he reads about it. He looks at it like a gift. And it is...but... Are Aspergers and autism the same? They certainly make children different.


It can be hard for mama. I love this kid. I want him to succeed. He is my flesh and blood. I made him. My only real friends feel like people who have kids on the spectrum disorder or special ed teachers. To anyone else he looks like a kid with a bad parent. I am trying to accept the fact he different. Comments when we go out fail to recognize. Not sure what parents finally came to terms with acceptance but it's hard. But for his success I need to recognize special needs. Kind of at that stage.


So hello! Looking for some acceptance for those who know an Aspie. My first time saying it but like I said acceptance..

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome Cora72!

It's hard being a parent of a child on the spectrum. My mother lost a lot of friends but she always stood behind me. If someone had something to say or a comment, she would point at the door. She was firm and clear on the matter. Her child was born that way and if someone would blame her child for that, those people are not good people. It is a lonely road but a good road and I recommend it. Find like-minded people and there are many. Keep that bond strong with your son and keep educating yourself. Don't believe everything that doctors and specialist say but believe what works and what your son tells you. Form a circle as a family and keep it strong. He needs it so much.

Good luck!

Thanks for the love. I need it. I officially told another parent off who clearly does not want my child around theirs. It was a first and not my last. It's always such an evasive f**k off. "I am busy, maybe another time"......So I finally called the parent out on her total lack of understanding. That she doesnt want my son with Aspergers around her daughter. She basically turned it around and attacked my parenting rather than recognizing the condition. The parent has an inter-racial child so I guess I was hoping to skip out on the judgement but apparently ignorance is bliss...at least for her.

High functioning autism is hard for a parent because "special needs" aren't obvious. My husband doesn't like the terminlogy and he doesn't want the school to know. He literally hid my computer earlier so I didn't send a letter to the school about the diagnosis today. Like why can't I let people know he's different and why am I being stopped from being allowed to do so.

And on top of it I feel like I have a ton of marriage issues...partly because of the Aspergers. Just dealing with it alone and with a man who is clueless and incredibly verbally abusive toward my son and myself. I also think my husband has Aspergers. He read about it and agreed.

I am trying to look at it all like a gift but right now it feels like curse and I feel so alone in a world with a total lack of understaning. But this forum makes me feel a little less alone! His diagnosis is "social communication disorder" but the term aspergers fits more.

Welcome to Wrong Planet. If you haven't found it yet, there is a section for parents. I hope you find some comfort here.

Hello Cora!

Having just joined the site myself, I don't know how much of a right I have to greet you to it, but being an Aspie, I can offer my understanding
I think the fact that you have realized your son's condition and are doing your best to understand it is already fantastic. I lived my entire childhood and school life having no idea I had Asperger's and this caused me great grief once I hit college and finally found out. Many people on this site seem to indicate that, just like your husband, they only start suspecting they might be on the Spectrum late into adulthood (my dad and grandpa could be undiagnosed examples imo). I think by knowing from the outset that the things that your son might need and want aren't always the same as what most people would can help a lot in avoiding mistakes.

I feel your pain on the fact that even though autism spectrum is increasingly prevalent, most people are completely unaware (I can't judge since I only learned exactly what it was after being diagnosed myself), and if you don't understand the condition it can be easy to blame the strange behaviors on something else. I actually agree with your husband that it can be a gift, just like your son I am quite intelligent and high-functioning and this allowed me to breeze through school (the reason noone diagnosed me earlier) and overall gives me a unique viewpoint on things that can be invaluable; it can also feel like a curse sometimes, especially when it comes to problems with understanding your own and other's emotions and having functional social relationships. Just like you, my mom probably felt lost because, unlike my dad and I, she is super emotional and neurotypical, but I think that for exactly that reason it's great that your son will have someone like that in his life and I can assure you he will appreciate it.

I don't know if it applies to your son, but on the topic of playdates, I remember my parents sometimes unwittingly forcing arranged playdates for me since they thought it negative that I didn't have friends. I was completely terrified by these experiences and felt super embarrassed. If you have to force it, then it might be the case that it's the wrong way to go about it, but if your son expresses a desire to do it, then it's a different story. People on the Spectrum (just like any people) come with great variety and is only a loose grouping, so just because this was the case for me doesn't mean it would be for your son.

Sorry about the long post! I wish you the best of luck in finding answers, feel free to ask any questions, and although it might be difficult to find understanding from random people on the subject, you will definitely find plenty of people here who do!

I am an Aspie. Some might view me as an ancient Aspie. Sometimes with age comes Wisdom. I self analyzed my condition and wrote a short book so that it might help others. The Aspie Code