How to say goodbye to this person

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I have been in love with this girl for about three years now but ever since an awkward fiasco in which I became aware of the fact that she knew of my feelings and didn't reciprocate them, I've given up on a romantic future with her. Before her brother left, the three of us were good friends, or so I believe we were. The falling out happened not long after he left. He and I are still friends and communicate via email. He's on his mission and will get home just after I start on mine. Two years from that time, we'll see each other in college at BYU and reconnect. But his sister is a different story, at least if I don't get the opportunity to take care of things before she leaves.

This August she leaves for college in Hawaii. I want to have a parting word with her and tie up loose ends. We won't be seeing each other again for at least two years. I want to reassure her that I will have moved on by then and propose that we can rebuild our friendship when I reconnect with her brother. I also want to go over where we went wrong for my future reference and so I can more fully express my deepest apologies for three years of Aspie-induced awkwardness and discomfort. I want to do this in person so it's not one-sided, and also because we'll both come off as more genuine than messaging each other.

But the only problem is, I have no opportunity to hold a conversation with her for the length of time required. I was planning on talking to her at a dance, but I just realized I have a conflict I can't reschedule. The only other times we see each other are at church, where we don't have time for more than a few seconds conversation.

What do I do?

You just be like Elsa and let it go.

She's not into you and there are no "loose ends." There is no "where we went wrong," because there was never a "we," there was only "you."

Trying to take her aside and have some serious discussion and apology about some failed one-sided romance that only ever really existed in your own head is not going to solve anything - it's only going to make things even more awkward.

Just leave her alone. If you want closure, you do it for you. And figure out how you went wrong on your own and learn from that mistake so you don't make it again.

You're overthinking things. Reading what you said then it seems like she knew of your feelings and it became awkward when you found out about her knowing, rather than her finding out about your feelings. Feelings fade and she'll know that. All you need to do is tell her that you wish her the best and maybe you could say that you'll miss her friendship or something like that but you'll only make things more awkward if you start talking about your feelings. Show that you know it's not reciprocated by acting like any friend would rather than tell her.