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HistoryGal
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04 Jul 2018, 9:22 am

A few years back I was invited to this surprise party by the person's parents. Was given the idea that they were covering everything. Like a girl scout, I made sure to have money on hand. Good thing too because the waiter started dropping off individual bills.

The purpose of this post isn't to rag on the hosts but to make sure you are duly prepared.



kraftiekortie
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04 Jul 2018, 9:28 am

Yep. Never take it for granted that somebody else will pay.



HistoryGal
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04 Jul 2018, 9:38 am

It's always good to make things clear when inviting.



ladyelaine
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04 Jul 2018, 10:44 am

I agree with you, HistoryGal. People need to be clear about stuff like that.



HistoryGal
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04 Jul 2018, 10:55 am

LOL I know right? Nice little surprise.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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04 Jul 2018, 10:57 am

I've worked with some incredibly audacious chiselers, people who will wait til everyone else has chipped in for a group lunch restaurant bill and then put in literally 50 cents (thereby ripping off the waitstaff, whose tip they just effectively stole, and their co-workers, who now either have to confront the jerk, add more money of their own to compensate for the theft of the tip, or go back to the waiter and ask for separate checks after the fact.)

They always seem to be well paid professionals, spoiled rotten by their management.

>sigh<

And this is a conscious, deliberate behavior.

>sigh<

But Aspies are the problem children.

>sigh<

[Esmerelda's method of dealing with this: after seeing it ONCE - I asked for a separate check everywhere, every time, and if told that could not be done, I'd move to my own table and order separately if I had to. So help me.]

[There was one clown who actually tried to stiff me for his ENTIRE BILL, by pretending to have left his wallet in the office. I looked at him and said, "Oh that's a shame, thank God I got a separate check. I can pay mine and run back to the office to bring you your wallet. Hang on, I'll go explain this to the manager, OK? Give me the key to your desk." Surprise, surprise, he then "discovered" his wallet in "the wrong pocket". Yeah, this clown was an M.D. too. And no, I never, ever, ever ate with him anywhere ever again.]

[And just for the record: I've worked in several other countries, and I NEVER saw this stunt pulled ANYWHERE outside the USA. Ever.]


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HistoryGal
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04 Jul 2018, 11:07 am

The Aspie has their money in their pocket at all times. We are so self conscious about rules that we methodically prepare for contingencies.



ladyelaine
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04 Jul 2018, 11:12 am

HistoryGal wrote:
The Aspie has their money in their pocket at all times. We are so self conscious about rules that we methodically prepare for contingencies.


Yep. People are quick to chew out the autistic person before they chew anyone else out for misunderstanding them.



HistoryGal
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04 Jul 2018, 11:50 am

We are the first to get blamed



glebel1
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04 Jul 2018, 12:28 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
A few years back I was invited to this surprise party by the person's parents. Was given the idea that they were covering everything. Like a girl scout, I made sure to have money on hand. Good thing too because the waiter started dropping off individual bills.

The purpose of this post isn't to rag on the hosts but to make sure you are duly prepared.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if they invited you, they should have paid.
This wasn't a case of "Let's go out tonight", this was a party that they were throwing.


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HistoryGal
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04 Jul 2018, 12:32 pm

Oh yeah I agree.....but always prepared. Of course I was surprised to get a check. Very surprised.



ladyelaine
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04 Jul 2018, 12:42 pm

glebel1 wrote:
HistoryGal wrote:
A few years back I was invited to this surprise party by the person's parents. Was given the idea that they were covering everything. Like a girl scout, I made sure to have money on hand. Good thing too because the waiter started dropping off individual bills.

The purpose of this post isn't to rag on the hosts but to make sure you are duly prepared.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if they invited you, they should have paid.
This wasn't a case of "Let's go out tonight", this was a party that they were throwing.


I agree.



nick007
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04 Jul 2018, 2:50 pm

Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:
[There was one clown who actually tried to stiff me for his ENTIRE BILL, by pretending to have left his wallet in the office. I looked at him and said, "Oh that's a shame, thank God I got a separate check. I can pay mine and run back to the office to bring you your wallet. Hang on, I'll go explain this to the manager, OK? Give me the key to your desk." Surprise, surprise, he then "discovered" his wallet in "the wrong pocket". Yeah, this clown was an M.D. too. And no, I never, ever, ever ate with him anywhere ever again.]
That was very smart & fast thinking. I wish I could think of things like that in the moment. I never really been invited to eat out with others much & most of the time when we did, my friends would tell me when inviting me if I'd have to pay my share. One paid for me a lot but I offered to pay for him sometimes too like when he'd talk about not having much money or something but me paying was fair since he did pay for me more often & he didn't expect me to pay for him.


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Esmerelda Weatherwax
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04 Jul 2018, 5:10 pm

^^ I had to work with the guy and he was always a bit "off"... I don't mean functionally, I mean his ethics just didn't come across right.

He broke the department's coffeepot and refused to replace it, he bragged about how he'd been able to basically steal his very nice house from the old couple who were selling it, by making them a cash offer for about two thirds of what they wanted for it. He actually thought he should be admired for that.

So I suspected he'd try something, but he wanted to have a "working lunch". (Yeah - he was going to work my wallet!) By then, I'd already had a few years of experience with other people like the "tip stealing" lady, so I knew that many of the people I worked with just couldn't be trusted about paying in restaurants.

I had already worked out how I'd respond if someone tried to con me into paying for their meal! I was relieved that I'd already figured out something I could do. But I got really fed up with the whole "lunch with co-workers" thing and eventually stopped going for lunch with almost all of them.

Oh and, the dishonest people were all making around $200,000 a year. I most definitely was NOT. (Jerks.)


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glebel1
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04 Jul 2018, 8:02 pm

Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:
^^ I had to work with the guy and he was always a bit "off"... I don't mean functionally, I mean his ethics just didn't come across right.

He broke the department's coffeepot and refused to replace it, he bragged about how he'd been able to basically steal his very nice house from the old couple who were selling it, by making them a cash offer for about two thirds of what they wanted for it. He actually thought he should be admired for that.

So I suspected he'd try something, but he wanted to have a "working lunch". (Yeah - he was going to work my wallet!) By then, I'd already had a few years of experience with other people like the "tip stealing" lady, so I knew that many of the people I worked with just couldn't be trusted about paying in restaurants.

I had already worked out how I'd respond if someone tried to con me into paying for their meal! I was relieved that I'd already figured out something I could do. But I got really fed up with the whole "lunch with co-workers" thing and eventually stopped going for lunch with almost all of them.

Oh and, the dishonest people were all making around $200,000 a year. I most definitely was NOT. (Jerks.)

It's a matter of perceived status. These types think they are better than most people and are not hesitant about screwing people over.
The ironic thing is, I think they have less free cash than most people. They spend their money on status objects to impress those who they perceive to be their equals or their superiors.


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