Do/Did you ever hate yourself because you're autistic?

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warrier120
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04 Jul 2018, 3:19 pm

I used to have some pretty bad self-esteem issues as a result of stigma and bullying for being "different." I have known that I am autistic since I was 10 years old. I must have watched too many Autism Speaks videos without being warned of the hateful messages behind them. I probably learned to hate myself this way and, therefore, wanted to be cured. Later on, as I started looking up autistic people and their opinions, I learned to embrace and love my autistic traits.


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GoodBlade
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04 Jul 2018, 3:41 pm

I don't hate myself because of it, because I know it's not my fault I have it. That's the biggest reason. You are either born with it, or possibly, from an accident you've had during childhood, etc. None of the causes of autism is the fault of the person having it.
I am accepting myself, and glad many other people accept me as I am, and they often don't even pay attention or make a big deal out of the whole thing.
Obviously, being different is a disadvantage, but it also makes you special.
So, no. I dont hate myself. I think we're all special because of what we might have.



MagicKnight
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04 Jul 2018, 4:03 pm

In short, many times. It's sometimes hard for me to get the head around that fact.



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04 Jul 2018, 4:06 pm

MagicKnight wrote:
In short, many times. It's sometimes hard for me to get the head around that fact.

Think of it like this, "Why should I be sad or bothered by something that isn't my fault? I can work on my symptoms and live a better life, even with it." That kind of thing.
There is a bright side to everything, you just gotta find it I guess.



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04 Jul 2018, 4:16 pm

warrier120 wrote:
Did you ever hate yourself because you're autistic?
No. Nor did I hate myself before I found out that I was autistic, either. I was too busy proving wrong those who hated me for being 'weird' or 'different'.


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warrier120
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04 Jul 2018, 4:48 pm

It is known that autistic people are considerably more likely to commit suicide than NT people. I somehow think that hating oneself because of autism and suicide may be connected, but I am not trying to draw conclusions here.


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Joe90
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04 Jul 2018, 5:09 pm

I had self-loathing issues in the past due to having AS. I feel like it is responsible for the bad things that happen in my life.

I don't hate myself so much now, but I still hate my AS. But I think going on WP every day has actually helped me to learn to deal with it, despite some of the negatives this site causes sometimes (no offense). But I'd still say this site has done me good with coming to terms with myself.


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Edna3362
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04 Jul 2018, 9:14 pm

I'd rather hate myself for having to deal with sinusitis on daily basis, than disliking myself for being autistic and having to deal with the world.


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EzraS
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05 Jul 2018, 3:49 am

To a degree I suppose. Or perhaps mildly annoyed. More at the autism itself really. But no one and nothing is perfect, so in the long run it's nbd.



TheSpectrum
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05 Jul 2018, 4:19 am

There was a time I hated myself because I felt I couldn't say anything right.
I wasn't diagnosed at the time, so no.


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whatamievendoing
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05 Jul 2018, 4:33 am

I do have the occasional moments of self-loathing because of my AS, but thankfully they're very rare. For the most part, it doesn't affect my life to a significant degree, with the only minor exception of my sub-par social skills.


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barrelracer44
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05 Jul 2018, 4:36 am

I did hate myself but then I realized that I am special there is nothing wrong with me the people in my life now made me realize that



Scorpius14
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05 Jul 2018, 6:35 am

im mad because i know that no one in my family/extended family has ever had it maybe my great great grandfather might've had it at some point and passed it down only to present itself at the most unfortunate time, or some higher power is somehow responsible (no im not talking about god), makes me question whether or not my parents drunk alcohol or did drugs during their pregnancy that might have spurred something to happen, why the right side of my brain is somewhat missing most of its neurological pathways resulting in many deficiencies in my mental state.



neptunekh
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28 Jul 2018, 7:31 am

I absolutely hate myself without a doubt!



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28 Jul 2018, 7:40 am

No, I avoided hating myself including my asd. I get frustrated with parts of it some time, but not hate it.


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28 Jul 2018, 11:52 am

I had negative thoughts about myself because I did not know I was autistic and thus did not know why things that were seemingly easy for everybody else was difficult or impossible for me.


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