Honesty - Delicate Situation

Post Reply New Topic

If you don't find yourself compatible with someone and using the polite I'm Busy tactic doesn't do the trick.....why not be honest but tactful.

"I just don't feel that our personalities are compatible." Or

"We're just going in different directions."

This prevents mystery and ambiguity.

What kind of relationships are you describing here? Dating? Someone trying to cultivate a friendship with you? Cousins?

I guess this could apply to dating. Thanks.

This is for platonic friendships. It keeps the awkwardness down so if you run into this person somewhere in town after they said how busy they were.

I'd be ok with that. It's better than lying to someone and you see them out somewhere when they told you something different.

Nothing wrong with honesty.

Syd, I don't need a primer on friendships and how they work.

I merely posted an idea that could work for some. As always mileage varies.

For dating, I've always believed that firm honest turndown is the best policy.

For a platonic relationship, those don't normally end with a yes or no outcome as a dating scenario does. So telling a platonic would-be friend that you aren't compatible seems a little abrupt and rude. Honestly, in a case like that, if I were on the receiving end, I'd rather have them be too busy for me. It allows me to save face. And after an instance or two, I do get the hint. Unfortunately, on the doling-out end, we don't always know how the other person will take it.

Right there are trade offs for both.

For some reason I wouldn't be offended at the personalities not meshing. I guess I'm totally an oddball.

Anyway, I don't pursue someone after two or three I'm busies...