Study of Being Mindful of Social Exhaustion

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Ever since I learned that I was autistic, I have an easier time of noticing when I feel emotionally drained during social interactions. I'm now at the point where my reactions aren't wooden but the mask physically feels harder to slip into place and I start to falter into resting mode. Before, I could only alternate between the two extremes. I still move between them but the recovery period has considerably shortened, the recovery period usually entailed anxiety. The thing is, I feel myself becoming ever more unable to use the social skills I'd learn for so long for the purpose of masking. I can't seem to find even a quarter of the willingness I once had to try to appear normal. I feel apathetic towards normalcy. But the reason I learned it in the first place was to be a happily moderate person who had the ability to not stand out a great deal. Kids at church used to call me "Ghost" because I was far too quiet apparently and kids at school laughed at the idea that I could be quiet. I tried to train myself to be between the two but it seems unlikely. Has anyone else had this sort of social regression or at the very least struggled with this in the past or currently?

I think so. With the added knowledge that I was autistic, which was only diagnosed about 3 years ago, I can retreat after socializing until I feel recovered. It helps that I am retired, but even when I was working I would occasionally take a "mental health day" if I needed it. It also helps that my husband understands I need to be inside my shell sometimes and doesn't push me.

So when I emerge and undertake more social connection, I am able to do the masking all right. I'm comfortable with this pattern.

Yes, I struggle with social. Yesterday a sibling dropped by the parents house where I now live & visited for 4 hours. 4 hours. I excused myself @ hour #2 & left the room, it so was excruciating.

Yes.

I've been living
a diagnosed HFA life
for just 6 weeks.

I'm far more willing now
to retreat and recover
after socializing.

Less willing to hide
my needs.

My wife is not pleased.
Thinks I'm taking advantage
of the diagnosis
to be self indulgent.

I guess I am.
But if I can slip
into a comfortable rhythm
of socialize & recover,
socialize & recover,
perhaps
I can avoid meltdowns
that confuse & scare
everyone,
including me.

I am not autistic, but this social regression happened to me as my neurological disease worsened and at the same time, I became constantly busy with my 4 year old.

The 20s seems to be the hardest time for many autistic people. You’re getting comfortable with your identity as an adult, period, but also as an autistic adult. And since you’re just starting out, you have stress that us older people often don’t deal with- college, starting a career, having a social life-often with people you are not used to. It’s hard. If you’re busy with all that, social niceties like masking may need to be sidelined for awhile.

I appreciate all the replies!

@Mr. Bike, I do believe that self-care often swems indulgent to those who don't experience how much it does for you. But she loves you regardless so it's all good.

@Mme Arthur, I need to acquire a person like your husband in my respective circles... I like your system

@SocofAutism, that makes sense. My social exhaustion is heavily linked to my autistic burnouts.

@hobojungle, I've been doing this at a young age for guests that I'm not fond of... It irritates my mum.