I think I'll never get a bf. :(

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I'm 19. I really want a bf and there's a bunch of guys I've liked... I keep getting told by random people that I'm "pretty", and I try to dress nice, wear makeup, I'm skinny... I keep getting people saying, "You should have no wanting for guys who are into you." Yet I barely get any attention, and the attention I do get, I scare them away with my weirdness/I get passed up for someone else. I have people say, "oh, you're boyfriend must x..." and get surprised when I say that I've never had a boyfriend.

I'm even afraid to try online dating because I worry that my weirdness is infamous across campus... that's because my social anxiety is so high that I literally feel like I'm getting shot every time I try to socialize. I've weirded out so many people on campus that I'm afraid my date's friend's friend would tell them that I was weird or something. :^/

Could I be pretty and not get attention still, or am I just secretly ugly? What might make a pretty girl not get attention? And how do I work up the nerve to put myself out there?

i am going to be upfront and say that i have no idea that thats like (nor will i ever), but it would be cool if i did.

can you describe in more detail how you are "weird"? how do you weird people out and how you can be totally sure its your own fault?

there's a possibility that you don't get approached because it's assumed you're already in a relationship because of your attractiveness, and people are avoiding rejection. of course...i don't know what you look like but i wouldn't know what to do in that case, either.

i guess you're starting college?

as for putting yourself out there, i just do it...i don't really prepare much at all or put a huge amount of effort into it so it's not wasted if it fails. maybe it's more genuine that way.

I'm obsessed with religious philosophy, philosophy in general, and go on long rants about it if I can. I'm just not good with conversation topics, and have been told that they're a little random. I'm very quiet and don't know when I'm welcome... I can't tell if people are inviting me to join them or if I am welcome in social situations. I sometimes say things that I think are innocuous but are actually hurtful, and I don't know the right context to have certain conversations in. I've accidentally "flirted" with guys in relationships, when I was trying to be friendly, and I've accidentally spaced out while staring at other people. I am not good with transitions and carrying on conversations. I'm afraid of eye contact in casual settings and don't know when to greet people. I also have a hard time recognizing faces. I also get nervous and speak fast and laugh a lot when I'm in social situations. I generally wander around campus, lost in thought, and sometimes smile to myself when I'm in my own little world. I'm very shy in general and don't go to clubs. If socialization and social clubs violate my routine, I forego them.

I also can't really tell when/if someone is interested in me. It seems like people always pass me up when flirting.

Don't give up Whale_Tuune! You're still young. There's still time for you to find a boyfriend. Maybe not this year but one day. If you have a bad reputation on campus than perhaps you can find a boyfriend after you've graduated.

You seem quite intelligent.

Intelligent guys would like you.

Don't give up----ever!

Just guessing, but the fact that you live on the Death Star might be intimidating to some people.

Well for one thing, your anxiety is going to hold you back.

If you can figure out how to get that under control, that would probably help a lot.

...I hope that doesn't sound as negative as I think it does...

At any rate, I've always embraced being weird, and I've met a few girls who are also weird and tend to enjoy being with other weirdos.

In my observations, pretty women (even the weird ones), usually have guys circling around them like vultures. Is it possible that guys have shown interest, and you just haven't picked up on it?

If you ever post a picture, I'm sure they'll be guys writing you pretty quickly.

Whale Tuune, if this forum is any indication, there are lonely guys out there thinking they'll never get a gf. Why don't you connect with some of them.

I don't mean to be critical, but the long philosophical rants might make you lose a few people. That isn't everyone's cup of tea. It's also a typical autistic mis-step. Unless you can tell by their active participation in the conversation that they are interested, you should just cut that real short. For someone else who is enthralled by philosophy, it's exciting. For someone NOT interested, that is B-O-R-I-N-G. There are a lot more people NOT into philosophy than ARE into it.

Religious philosophy and living on a Death Star?

Vader would fancy you.

I like a girl who expounds on things.

I don’t like it when she gets upset over every little thing....

You sound intelligent, and from what you describe about yourself, my reaction is that you're cute and quirky. Normal is boring, and you just need to find a guy who likes girls like you. Interesting girls. Girls like you are special, and I mean that in a good way. It's just harder to find a connection.

And never forget:



Keep being awesome Milady.