Anyone have the urge to hit folks that are mean to them?

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I am not encouraging violence here, and nor would I ever act on my urges to hit someone unless my life is in real danger.

I am constantly being talked down to, given dirty looks to, and all around treated like s**t by so-called "normal" people in this world because my behavior is idiosyncratic and it puts them off. I'm tired of being surrounded by stupid xenophobic as*holes all day everyday who are mean to people like me because my differences puts them off. This is why I can't wait to finish saving up money so I can get the f**k out of the city, move on or near a mountain somewhere and live in peace by myself.

Today at work, some as*hole barista lady at this Sodexo-ran knock-off Starbucks at the cafeteria at my job is a real b***h.

I notice that she only gives me the dirty looks or talks to me with a rude tone in her voice because she doesn't do this to anyone else in line.

Today has been my second time at this store and she was rude to me again the second time, too.

I am not a rude customer. I come there and buy what I want and then leave. I don't know what her problem is with me because I am very cordial and respectful.

Today I asked her how much were the fruit cups in the window of the refrigerator, and she answered with a nasty tone in her voice while rolling her eyes at me. She also shoved the change in my hand after I finished my transaction. And she also slammed the fruit cup down on the counter in an irate manner.

When I was standing in line, she was giving me death stares the entire time.

I did not get a friendly smile or a hello when I approached the service counter and neither did I get a thank you or a receipt after my transaction. Instead I got nothing but dirty looks and eyes rolled at me.

I would have gone somewhere else but there isn't another store that is within a good commuting distance for me (I ride the bus).

Maybe she sees me as some bottom rung worker because I am a Docucare Associate and not a rich tech person that's making 6 figures a year.

Regardless, I am still a human being and I deserve the same respect and friendly treatment as everyone else spending money at that store no matter how much money I am making.


I have been fantasizing about mangling her face all day. Because I cannot get over the evil, dehumanizing looks she was giving me.

I am not only angry at her, but this is anger is also from years and years and years of abuse for being autistic. I'm still angry at the people who threw rocks at me like I am some kind of subhuman creature, the people who called me ret*d, etc etc from years ago. I even get picked on by my own family. I was even abused and picked on by my mother (she passed away from cancer last year. I still love my mom and I cry for her almost everyday).

I have PTSD of people or something. Trauma replaying in the background of my mind all day everyday.

I think it is important for your recovery to talk with people who will really understand what you have been through and where you are coming from. Is there a branch of ASAN or GRASP in your state, maybe you could do some googling and find if there is. Also on the net, the Autistic Women's Network is on Facebook and has its own website also. You sound as though you are coping with this alone, and it not surprising that your unexpressed anger is so pressuring you at this stage.

You need understanding, to be heard, validation, and support - from people who have walked in your shoes and gone a bit further along the road to learning how to self soothe and heal.

I wish you a happier journey ahead; it's simply too hard to face this alone without anyone who understands, so connection is the key here.

of course it's only natural to want to return harm to those who have caused them to feel pain - the important thing i think is whether or not you choose to carry this out; having the self control.

a lot of baristas deal with equally irate and inconsiderate customers everyday and it's not surprising that some of them grow to hate their job, for some reason this one decided to unload it on you. maybe she sees you as somehow weaker or less assertive than the other customers, or she's jealous and wants to let you know it.


it's sh***y and not right, but like all such behavior there is an understandable root cause, whatever it is. maybe tell a manager about her CS skills if it continues cause that's no way to treat someone who's giving you business

anyway i think you deserve to surround and associate yourself with people similar to yourself who understand what you're going through and know and accept your unique differences and traits..

Tell the manager. You dont need that s**t.

Say something like: “you don’t need to be nasty.” See if that works.