Dear Men: Stop being needy

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That means...

1) Never text a woman after you've texted once[ e.g. "Hey I wrote earlier, didn't hear from you, just wondering what's going on?"]

2) Never insist a woman respond quickly or follow some stupid timeline[e.g "Hey I'd really like to hear from you quicker, it's been a few hours"]

3) Don't ask boring, lame questions like, "Hey, is everything ok? Your response was kind of unenthusiastic, is something wrong?"

4) Stop apologizing for every little thing you do. You should only apologize in rare cases in which you've done something truly awful.

5) Stop acting like your entire world revolves around whether a woman talks to you, replies to you, or says something to you. Yes, she can tell if you're resting on her every word like a pathetic puppy dog in need of reassurance.

6)Never show more interest in a woman than she shows in you. Especially in the dating stage before you guys are actually bf/gf slash going steady(as they used to say). If she does not reciprocate your interest. Stop communicating entirely. Stop checking your phone all the time. Try talking to other women instead. Drop her and move on.


Those are just a few tips. I never do any of this stuff, but I keep hearing that men are doing it all the time. STOP IT

Also: stop 'dropping' each other everybody. Being completely uncommunicative is just as much a problem as anything you mentioned here & girls have their own version of everything in the OP.

I don't believe this forum is actually dedicated to whining about each others' shortcomings, that's just the latest trend. This type of thinking just makes us all ignorant of what others are really thinking. It's completely surface level. I don't want any part of a culture that judges everyone by right & wrong text messages.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Okay, hmm, well...:
1) Hey, why you never respond to any of my threads, because I don't think I've ever heard from you!?
2) Hey, I have just posted this message, and I think you should respond within the minute.
3) Hey, are you going to respond, did something happen to your computer to keep you from responding ?
4) Sorry. I didn't mean to apologize excessively for everything I do. Sorry, I'll try not to apologize for little things.
5) OMG! Y u never say anything to me for all these years!? I need you to be praising me every minute of the day!
6) D'oh, I'm not showing enough interest in all these girls who have obviously friend-zoned me due to my lack of interest, or rather... lack of being flirtatious ! I better get back to practicing being more flirtatiously seductive...

Am I doing it right ?

That means...

1) Never text a woman after you've texted once[ e.g. "Hey I wrote earlier, didn't hear from you, just wondering what's going on?"]

2) Never insist a woman respond quickly or follow some stupid timeline[e.g "Hey I'd really like to hear from you quicker, it's been a few hours"]

3) Don't ask boring, lame questions like, "Hey, is everything ok? Your response was kind of unenthusiastic, is something wrong?"

4) Stop apologizing for every little thing you do. You should only apologize in rare cases in which you've done something truly awful.

5) Stop acting like your entire world revolves around whether a woman talks to you, replies to you, or says something to you. Yes, she can tell if you're resting on her every word like a pathetic puppy dog in need of reassurance.

6)Never show more interest in a woman than she shows in you. Especially in the dating stage before you guys are actually bf/gf slash going steady(as they used to say). If she does not reciprocate your interest. Stop communicating entirely. Stop checking your phone all the time. Try talking to other women instead. Drop her and move on.


Those are just a few tips. I never do any of this stuff, but I keep hearing that men are doing it all the time. STOP IT

How about just being good to those with whom we messed things up socially? Rather than totally ignoring them?

I think this thread advocates self-reliance to the point of forgoing common decency. The earth revolves around nobody unless people make it to the sun.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Bro-dudes unite and whine.

The OP does have a point.

He absolutely has a point but it's made up of pitfalls the more I think about this & goldfish's latest thread. This kind of thinking encourages everyone to typify each other until we all fall out of contact. None of us know someone else's life story so we really can't adequately judge the morality or thinking behind their behavior.

Excuse me but is anyone at all not needy? When I last checked we live in a materialistic world full of idol worshipers.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

This list would read better under the title:

"Dear Everyone: Tame your neurotic tendencies before dating."

I'm not a cowboy herding cows into a corral and I don't need a posse. Thank you.

I fail to see misplaced text messages as a reason to give up on anybody.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I observe the “Rule of 3,” which is a corollary to “Rule #1: Don’t Be Annoying.”

The Rof3 is this: The first time she keeps you waiting, maybe she didn’t get the message, something is wrong and she can’t get back to you, or she’s defo not interested. The second time, you’re simply following up; she should have had time to get in touch, yet there might still be a legit reason. At any rate, failure to return a message is most likely NOT an accident. Third time, either she’s in the hospital, a victim of human trafficking, otherwise party to something tragic, or she’s ghosting you. The third call or message is not one intended to get a response. It’s one you make to let her know where she stands with you—an invitation to call back, but also an ultimatum that you are ending contact until such a time as she initiates it. Depending on the exact state of the relationship up to that point, I might friendzone her.

The rule of 3 keeps you out trouble. You get your multiple calls/texts, but you avoid harassing the poor thing over the course of 1000 messages. You also move yourself faster towards recovering from any lingering feelings you have. Having those boundaries help everyone in the long run.

*Party to something tragic is not a fun one.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos