How do gay guys feel about virgins?

Post Reply New Topic

I've tried some flirting with a few guys I met on FaceBook but only one of them seemed to take a real interest on me.

Does telling them right from the start that I'm completely inexperienced with guys somehow a turnoff?

I’d say same-sex is more used to that being the case no matter the age due to the closet.

I don’t see why you’d tell them you’re inexperienced though. Kinda makes it seem like you’re only interested in sex.

I just say it right from the start so that maybe they will understand why I'm awkward with guys

Then just say you haven’t went out with or dated guys. Virginity status is way too personal and blunt to be that up front with and, as stated, kinda sounds like you only have one thing on your mind which I’m unsure if that’s your intention.

Also with guys it naturally comes up but for a different reason - asking about closet status.

I think you're right. So for now on I won't mention that I'm a virgin unless asked.

And I wouldn't say I'm in the closet, it's just that I've never had any actual gay friends to talk to. I'm completely in the dark when it comes to things going on in the LGBTQ community so I have no idea how to even approach the subject with other gay guys. I'm sure having aspergers doesn't help either.

The same goes for many guys no matter the age due to a question of when people started to be themselves so - as said - it's kinda expected to be, sadly, a norm. Sadly since it's typically more due to forced societal pressure to hide it.

Well I'm hoping that maybe if I make more gay friends and get involved in the community then I can maybe meet somebody.

I'm just at a point in my life where I am tired of feeling like a manchild sitting at home playing video games and watching TV all day while everybody else is doing things like hanging out with friends and having families of their own. I finally realized that unless I make the effort my life is never going to change.

Yes. Because a lot of guys want to get it on and don't want to be responsible for someone who has just had his first time. They like to be around guys that already know the score and can play the game. In other words, when they're done, they don't expect to find you still there after they come out of the shower. If you are not ready for such exploitive treatment, stay off of the social media and find someone more like yourself. Whatever you do, make sure you stay OUT and far away from the bars/clubs. Avoid alcohol/pills. You can get really hurt both physically and emotionally. Take good care of yourself. Don't to be too eager.

Of course! BUT you are also an aspie. In my opinion, it is better to meet another aspie that has common interests but knows he's gay. NT's can run you over - it's hard. Take your time and avoid a lot of pain.

Honestly sometimes I think I actually get along with NTs better than I do other Aspies.

I mean for one thing we all know how Aspies have very limited interests and it feels impossible to find one with the exact same interests as mine.

Also there are some very mean NTs in the world but there are also some pretty nice ones too. Sometimes NTs will feel sorry for a guy like me and make the extra effort to be nice to me because I have Aspergers. I'm not sure how that would work in an real relationship though because I think most people prefer to be with somebody whom they find common ground with.

Not all of us have extremely limited interests. I do have my special interests and my partner doesn't share those same interests. It isn't necessary to share the exact same interests. People in relationships don't have to be carbon copies of each other! It's nice to share at least some interests though.

I really feel that my partner is on the spectrum too. He certainly doesn't come across as typical NT...

You're right in saying there are really nice NTs out there however. They are not in some opposing camp.

Yeah I think you're right. And a lot of couples don't seem to have anything in common but still enjoy each other's company anyways.

Maybe I would be better off going out with somebody who has Aspergers because at least they would understand what I go through too.

The one thing I worry about is having Bipolar Disorder though. I don't think that most people would find that appealing in a person.