i hate stereotypes

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I hate it when people with asperger's syndrome and autism are seen by some people as stereotypical nerdy people who with goofy teeth, glasses and spots or someone who has long-hair, unshaven and slouching over his computer playing games whilst eating food next to it. It does make my blood boil, it makes people like me feel that we have got no chance in getting a girlfriend, the same as calling a TV program 'The Un-dateables' implies we are NOT dateable to NT people. It frustrates me when I hear of other people like me with asperger's or autism and they have boyfriends or girlfriends and it makes me think 'How did they meet them ?' and that I won't meet someone because I won't put myself out there to go a bar or club because I don't like those places which I feel is the reason behind me being single because I won't go to those places and it frustrates me and I have few friends who like me are not the going-out types.

It seems to me that it is harder for Aspie guys to find a girlfriend than it is for Aspie girls to find a boyfriend, because I've seen more guys here longing for a girlfriend, yet more women already married. Maybe it's just my imagination or maybe it's just coincidental, I'm not trying to generalize.

I don't lack too many social skills but it still seems to be hard for me to make friends with NT women, but I have an NT boyfriend and we get along great. By the way I didn't meet him in a stupid nightclub, as I've never even been to a nightclub before. I met him on the bus, we just got chatting and he suggested a date, and it's 4 and a half years later and we are still together, while a lot of NT people my age have had 2 or 3 different relationships and can't seem to keep a relationship going.
That's the thing these days - so many couples split up so easily and move back in with their parents, that where I come from nobody really judges people our age who live with their parents any more. It's becoming the norm.

Next time you see someone who is autistic with a partner, how about asking how they met instead of wondering? If you can't do it face to face, ask the people here and see if you can get some tips.
I'm also not too fond of the basic autism stereotypes, but sometimes I wonder if I really have the right to be complaining about it since I don't go around telling people that no, that's not how it goes, I'm autistic and I'm not like that. I mean if I did that I could help to destroy the stereotypes, but I'm just not... brave enough to do so? My life has enough trouble in it without the people around me making assumptions about me based solely on the fact that I'm autistic.

I wonder about that; I'm sure there are many reasons why there are more men talking about wanting a partner here than women. Sure, maybe it is a little easier for autistic women to get partners than for men, but who knows, really. I think one of the most logical reasons that there seem to be more single men here than women is that there are simply more male members, which in turn makes sense since men apparently tend to get a diagnose easier than women. It is very highly likely that some autistic women (and men, but probably more women) have never even considered they might be autistic and so never have a reason to come to this site. Another thing is that, since in most cultures it seems to be more acceptable for women to talk about their feelings than it is for men, the autistic women with trouble talk about them IRL while men come here to the internet 'cause talking about feelings "isn't manly."

And then there are probably a few women here who are just like me: single, and used to talk about it here but faced so much belittleling, wrong accusations and twisting of words while doing so simply because I'm a woman so I stopped talking about that stuff here. I just felt like there was no point since nothing I, a woman, said was taken seriously or believed, so why bother? That's why I won't even use the Love and Dating section anymore even though I kind of want to. It's just that when I did I got the feeling that continuing using it would eventually make getting a relationship harder with how poisonous the air was for women, or at least, that is how I felt it no matter how many times I tried to talk there.

Yes, obviously stereotyping is a rubbish way of describing people. I had to smile about the TV show called "The Undateables." Seems to me they're stereotyping themselves there, because it's mainstream NTs who commonly can't imagine partnering without the sterotyped ritual of guy taking gal out to dinner / nightclub / disco or whatever they're supposed to do. I've been married 3 times but I've always been pretty much undateable, simply because I dislike most of those evening public venues.

that's because dating is a waiting game for most women, for most males it's up to them to initiate and those with inferior social skills and awareness will predictably be left behind. this is just a truth.

i'm at least glad people in your area are dissolving the stigma of young adults living with their parents, wish the sane could be said for here.

I think it's sometimes easier for Aspie women to get romantic relationships because Aspergers is though of an an extreme male brain. NT guys tend to have a hard time understanding NT women sometimes so I'd imagine it'll be even worse for an Aspie guy to understand NT women whereas an Aspie women is more like an NT guy than an NT woman & is therefor a breath of fresh air to NT guys.

Maybe one of us could start a thread asking the members who are in a relationship how/where they met. It might help the OP understand that you don't need to go to nightclubs to meet the love of your life.

Done
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=372187

I hate the stereotype on TV that we're all a bunch of mute kids who can hack government computers or solve overly complex math problems.

Or how about the horror movie cliche of the creepy little autistic child with psychic powers who draws pictures of everyone dying or talks to ghosts and demons and the parents thinks they are talking to "imaginary friends"?

The one where the kid chants about wanting the red crayon, right?

Lol that's one good example. Or "I see dead people!".

List of a few horror movie psychic kids who either do have autism or are strongly implied to have it:

Danny from "The Shining"
Sarah from "Children of the Corn"
Annie from "Rose Red"
Aidan from "The Ring"
Cole from "The Sixth Sense"

Because these kids are always shy introverts who never socialize (except with dead people) and spend all their time obsessively drawing crayon pictures of everyone dying.

Every kid does it it's just most of the time the drawings aren't good enough to tell.

Well in real life the drawings never predict a person's actual death.

Last edited by TW1ZTY on 08 Jan 2019, 5:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I don't know if it's any easier for aspie women to get a boyfriend since I've never had a true boyfriend.

I do know that since many aspie women often ignore the social rules on making themselves look supposedly more attractive to men (wearing makeup and sexually revealing clothing, wearing perfumes, spending hours on their superficial appearance before going out to a dating spot, going out at *all*), it should be difficult for us as well. Or maybe we tend not to care as much since we tend to ignore that other stupid social rule that all women need to find a romantic interest and have children to be happy.