Would this be appropriate?

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My aunt died last week and I have been telling as many people as possible. At one point in her life, she was married to my uncle before getting divorced sometime before I was born or when I was very little. I was wondering if it would be alright to get ahold of this estranged uncle of mine who was married to her in the past. I looked him up in the appropriate state since I was told many times that he lived there and think I found him. Would it be okay to let him know that she passed away?

I don't see why not. Death changes things. People who may have had a falling out in life, divorce, etc when they learn of their ex spouse's death are surprisingly heartbroken. By giving him that information, it may provide him closure on some level. If not, he could do what he wishes with the info.

Personally, I think your idea is thoughtful.

I have an ex that I've neither seen nor talked to since our divorce 20+ years ago. I have no idea about anything related to her life at this point. We parted amicably. If someone contacted me to tell me that she died, I would appreciate knowing such a thing.

Also, edited to say I'm sorry about your aunt.

Last edited by Magna on 17 Jan 2019, 1:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I agree.

A short note might be appropriate. Just state the when, where, and what she died of, and leave it at that. If he had wanted to stay in touch with your family, he would have, so please don't bother him with in-necessary details.

Are you saying to just send him a letter with the short note? I found his address as well.

I would keep it as short as necessary to only convey the facts. But that's me. You might send a copy of the obituary or death notice, or maybe even a program from the funeral service.

If you try to use it as an excuse to make contact with your "lost" uncle, you might be sadly disappointed.

Okay, then I will try to get a copy of the obituary and send that with a photo of her.