How do I control my thoughts?

Page 1 of 1 [ 14 posts ] 

Greatshield17
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 14 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 431
Location: Columbia-Kootenay Region, British Columbia

17 Feb 2019, 4:19 pm

I struggle a lot with controlling my thoughts, I'll often have unwanted thoughts enter my mind and I can't get my mind off of them. It's especially bad when they're angry thoughts, where I'll try to resist them and end up being angry at myself and/or the fact that I'm angry.


_________________
Don't bother with me, I'm just a narrow-minded bigot who does nothing but "proselytize" not because I actually love the Faith, because no one loves the Faith, we're just "using it to justify our bigotry." If you see any thread by me on here that isn't "proselytizing," I can't explain that because that's obviously impossible; because again, all I've ever done on here is "proselytize."

WP is the 2nd worst forum site I have ever been on.


Jake6238
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 23 Oct 2018
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 42
Location: UK

17 Feb 2019, 4:32 pm

I think the trick is not to control them but to see them as just thoughts. Thoughts only have as much power as you allow them to have. As a previous therapist put it to me:

'Don't try to win the tug of war: just drop the rope.'


_________________
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - Bilbo Baggins

Probably off challenging as many social norms in as little time as possible


caThar4G
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Dec 2016
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,231
Location: TN

17 Feb 2019, 5:20 pm

I'm still learning this.
From what I've learned so far is the step of not letting the bad thoughts have much control over you, but also realizing that you just have bad thoughts at times and not hurting yourself badly for having them at times. Basically treat yourself kindly. You don't have to follow what's bad in your mind.



DanielW
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2019
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,873
Location: PNW USA

17 Feb 2019, 5:28 pm

You can't control your thoughts... If you notice a negative thought, just let it go by. Just because we think something doesn't make it true, or that we have to act on it.



Sarahsmith
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,926
Location: Canada

17 Feb 2019, 5:38 pm

I sometimes have disturbing thoughts and I dont know why. I wont tell you to go on medication for this. I mean, it might help with the bad thoughts but, everyone has dark thoughts.



serpentari
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Sep 2018
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,307
Location: russia

17 Feb 2019, 6:18 pm

dont try to supress anger. it is a natural reaction, and has to happen. question is what u do about it. such as, vent it in a way not harming other ppl (for example, playing a video game and taking it out on ai). or well, rant with somebody who agreed to that. also helps. give a go to a punch bag. anything that would defuse it. same for other negative emotions. control the way u express them, but not emotions themself. and ya, i sometimes fail... but less frequent than before. bottling s**t up only leads to most epic meltdowns. peace is a lie, there is only passion)


_________________
sanity is a prison. insanity is doom. is there a third option, please?
beware the ire of the patient ones!
and if i walk away, who is gonna stay? i believe to make the world be a better place.


Greatshield17
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 14 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 431
Location: Columbia-Kootenay Region, British Columbia

18 Feb 2019, 1:01 am

I guess it's as St. Augustine (I believe it was St. Augustine who said something like this) once said, in regards to a very loosely related topic: (paraphrasing as I can't find the actual quote) 'In this kind of battle, it is the cowardly who are victorious.'


_________________
Don't bother with me, I'm just a narrow-minded bigot who does nothing but "proselytize" not because I actually love the Faith, because no one loves the Faith, we're just "using it to justify our bigotry." If you see any thread by me on here that isn't "proselytizing," I can't explain that because that's obviously impossible; because again, all I've ever done on here is "proselytize."

WP is the 2nd worst forum site I have ever been on.


caThar4G
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Dec 2016
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,231
Location: TN

18 Feb 2019, 4:35 am

That doesn't make sense.



MannyBoo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,968
Location: Hyperspace

18 Feb 2019, 11:20 am

Try some mental exercises like meditation, physical exercises like yoga, verbal exercises like mantras.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

18 Feb 2019, 1:03 pm

I get that problem. I get depressed if I feel other people are succeeding better than me socially, and also I still get hurt about how I've been treated by so-called friends in the past. People say "oh just don't let it bother you", but that is easier said than done. It's hard to switch your thoughts off, and even if I do I still feel depressed. I've got to spend most of my time being happy for people, when inside I am just crying. It's not fair why some of us have to be born with such socially isolating disabilities.


_________________
Female


MannyBoo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,968
Location: Hyperspace

19 Feb 2019, 5:21 am

You can also control your mind by what foods you put in your mouth.

“You are what you eat” is not only about the body, also the mind.

Fruits & vegetables can induce more positive mood in the mind.

How to become Berry Happy



serpentari
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Sep 2018
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,307
Location: russia

19 Feb 2019, 7:17 am

a good steak does that even better ^^


_________________
sanity is a prison. insanity is doom. is there a third option, please?
beware the ire of the patient ones!
and if i walk away, who is gonna stay? i believe to make the world be a better place.


Piobaire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,347
Location: Smackass Gap, NC

19 Feb 2019, 8:14 am

Greatshield17 wrote:
I struggle a lot with controlling my thoughts, I'll often have unwanted thoughts enter my mind and I can't get my mind off of them. It's especially bad when they're angry thoughts, where I'll try to resist them and end up being angry at myself and/or the fact that I'm angry.


A couple of points which have helped me, which you might want to consider.
1) Feelings aren't facts. You can't catch one, put it in a jar, and bring it to me. Despite everything my thoughts and feelings may tell me in my head; if I consider them objectively I can see that they're actually quite insubstantial, rather like transient clouds temporarily obscuring the moon.
2) Everything is dependent upon causes and conditions. Thoughts and feelings don't simply spring out of nowhere. Like all phenomena, they have precipitating causes which gave rise to them, and conditions which sustain them. Trying to address invasive thoughts with no thought as to their cause is simply treating the symptom, not the disease. Don't simply hack at weeds; take the time and effort to pull them up by the root.
3) Nothing lasts forever. Despite anything to the contrary my thoughts might tell me in my head, nothing lasts forever. This applies as much to mental formations like anxiety and depression as it does to everything else in the universe. Much of my angst is due to my fear that stuff I despise will last forever, and my fear that stuff I love won't. When I accept the impermanence of all things, I suffer much less.
4) Resistance is futile. My thoughts and feelings are not some foreign invader to be fought off and defeated. They arise from within myself. Wrestling with my thoughts and feelings is like both of my hands wrestling with each other; both futile and exhausting. With practice, I can learn to allow them to arise without resistance, observe them without glomming onto them, and allow them to fade away without clinging, like snowflakes falling on a wet sidewalk.
5) Don't believe everything you think. Of the 20,000 thoughts which cross my mind every day, a very large percentage of them are total BS. They're like malicious code which was inserted into my head by bullies, cruel teachers, narcissistic lovers, and others; which with enough repetition, I mistakenly allowed myself to be convinced were true. Such negative self-talk is nothing but the pre-recorded lies of others. They're delusions, and like all delusions, they only hold as much power over us as we allow them to by believing in them. We no longer have to act upon lies told us by people who didn't love us. I may not able to prevent such malignant nonsense from arising, but I can call my mind on it's lies and refuse to listen to the evil echoes of hateful whispers any longer. It's been my experience that the more consistently I do this, the less compelling such brain-washing becomes, and over time it ceases to arise with anywhere near the frequency and force that it once did.
May peace be with you.

"Leave the front and back doors to your mind open, and let your thoughts come and go...just don't serve them tea."
Sunryu Suzuki roshi



MannyBoo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,968
Location: Hyperspace

19 Feb 2019, 9:09 am

Stay away from highly inflammatory foods, like processed foods, red meats, fatty chicken meats, dairy foods, sugars and oils, etc, as inflammation induces depression.

Not only will you feel better mentally, but you won’t be increasing your risk of heart disease, diabetes or cancer in the future.. You will also look better by not getting too overweight.

Healthy Mind & Healthy Body go together :)