Greatshield17 wrote:
I struggle a lot with controlling my thoughts, I'll often have unwanted thoughts enter my mind and I can't get my mind off of them. It's especially bad when they're angry thoughts, where I'll try to resist them and end up being angry at myself and/or the fact that I'm angry.
A couple of points which have helped me, which you might want to consider.
1)
Feelings aren't facts. You can't catch one, put it in a jar, and bring it to me. Despite everything my thoughts and feelings may tell me in my head; if I consider them objectively I can see that they're actually quite insubstantial, rather like transient clouds temporarily obscuring the moon.
2) Everything is dependent upon causes and conditions. Thoughts and feelings don't simply spring out of nowhere. Like all phenomena, they have precipitating causes which gave rise to them, and conditions which sustain them. Trying to address invasive thoughts with no thought as to their cause is simply treating the symptom, not the disease. Don't simply hack at weeds; take the time and effort to pull them up by the root.
3)
Nothing lasts forever. Despite anything to the contrary my thoughts might tell me in my head, nothing lasts forever. This applies as much to mental formations like anxiety and depression as it does to everything else in the universe. Much of my angst is due to my fear that stuff I despise will last forever, and my fear that stuff I love won't. When I accept the impermanence of all things, I suffer much less.
4) Resistance is futile. My thoughts and feelings are not some foreign invader to be fought off and defeated. They arise from within myself. Wrestling with my thoughts and feelings is like both of my hands wrestling with each other; both futile and exhausting. With practice, I can learn to allow them to arise without resistance, observe them without glomming onto them, and allow them to fade away without clinging, like snowflakes falling on a wet sidewalk.
5)
Don't believe everything you think. Of the 20,000 thoughts which cross my mind every day, a very large percentage of them are total BS. They're like malicious code which was inserted into my head by bullies, cruel teachers, narcissistic lovers, and others; which with enough repetition, I mistakenly allowed myself to be convinced were true. Such negative self-talk is nothing but the pre-recorded lies of others. They're delusions, and like all delusions, they only hold as much power over us as we allow them to by believing in them. We no longer have to act upon lies told us by people who didn't love us. I may not able to prevent such malignant nonsense from arising, but I can call my mind on it's lies and refuse to listen to the evil echoes of hateful whispers any longer. It's been my experience that the more consistently I do this, the less compelling such brain-washing becomes, and over time it ceases to arise with anywhere near the frequency and force that it once did.
May peace be with you.
"Leave the front and back doors to your mind open, and let your thoughts come and go...just don't serve them tea."
Sunryu Suzuki roshi