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Kiryoku1428
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Joined: 27 Mar 2017
Age: 33
Gender: Female
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Location: Arkansas, USA

28 Feb 2019, 12:08 pm

I'm 28, moving out of my parents for the first time, and going far away (I'll be living with my aunt at first). How do you cope with all the changes that entails? I feel unsettled just from moving my desk to a different room. I've also never had a circle of friends post-puberty. I had close friends as a kid, but it always seemed like everyone changed drastically in their teens and I didn't, so I find I end up with more of acquaintance relations than having anyone to feel close and trusting to. I really want to make this work though. My dad can be so toxic and there's so much more potential where my aunt is, both with jobs and finding people with common interests.



BTDT
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28 Feb 2019, 1:37 pm

Females are much better at bonding, so getting help from your aunt should really help.

But, since every Aspie is different, she will need to know a lot about you. Especially your areas of obliviousness or stuff you just don't get.



jimmy m
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28 Feb 2019, 3:52 pm

I wish you well in your move.


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Fnord
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28 Feb 2019, 4:28 pm

Every time I relocated to a new town, I found new opportunities to make friends and enjoy my own life without criticism from my relatives. That alone was worth every move.



caThar4G
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02 Mar 2019, 12:52 pm

I hope you find what you're looking for.
For me, exploring a new place by walking around helps me to memorize it, and there's chance of meeting people.



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10 Mar 2019, 10:37 pm

I have done that about ten times. At first, only a few personal items are familiar, but now one's on-line life can also be a constant. I try to not dwell on what is lost, and put the energy into discovering what is new, such as riding around to see new sights. It is the new opportunities that make a move worth the hassle, and finding them is a bit like fishing. First, you have to be nearby, and curious. You may find none, but they may be nearby. Staying home, you'd never find out, nor even guess at what you might find.



Joao
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Joined: 29 May 2019
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Location: Brooklyn, NY and Rio de Janeiro, RJ

30 May 2019, 2:06 pm

I'm in a similar situation. Been in the same job for 29 years now. And have been living in NYC since 1983. My work situation has become unbearable, so I have opted to take early retirement once I turn 55 next year. Problem is my pension will be about 1/3 of my current salary. And I don't plan on taking on a new job, at least not at first. So I will definitely need to move out of NYC or nearby areas. And my standard of living will drop quite a lot. Going back to Brazil is out of the question at the moment. I'm too much of an outsider now, plus all the political and crime issues I'm not ready to face again (was forced to leave during the dictatorship years). Yet most places in the US I'm not only viewed as a complete outsider, but I also don't know anyone and have a hard time meeting people. Not looking forwards to it.



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30 May 2019, 2:13 pm

I recommend a mobile unit if you can drive, so you can explore but stay safe and uncommitted. There are a lot of blighted industrial and agricultural towns where real estate is cheap. With a pension, you can live anywhere, but you'll want to find at least a loose community of similar poor-but-honest folk for mutual defence. Once a small group gets to know you, your accent is not noticed any more than your shoes.



BTDT
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30 May 2019, 2:19 pm

You income will drop, but so will your expenses and more than likely, your taxes.

I've done a test run to figure out what my expenses will be should I retire. Turns out I need 1k/month plus health insurance. Which I can easily handle now should I get tired of working. It helps that I have a paid up house in the suburbs.

Good luck on your retirement.