Making Friends - Want one, need one.

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Let us temporarily step out of the Aspie world and look at the question of friendship outside our small box.

Forty-five percent of adults say they find it difficult to make new friends, according to new research.

A new study into the social dynamics of 2,000 Americans revealed that the average American hasn’t made a new friend in five years. In fact, it seems for many that popularity hits its peak at age 23, and for thirty-six percent, it peaks even before age 21.

The study, conducted by OnePoll in conjunction with Evite, uncovered that one of the reasons 42 percent of adults struggle to make friends is due to introversion or shyness. And the challenge isn't just in breaking out of one's shell, but also breaking into new social situations and circles.

The majority of respondents cite friendship-making barriers that include aversion to the bar scene, where most people choose to socialize, or the feeling that everyone’s friendship groups have already formed."

Their suggestion is "For the 45 percent who are looking to make new friends, the best and most underrated way to do that these days is still in-person," says Piera Pizzo, Evite's in-house party specialist. "You can host a party, or something more low-key like a book club or happy hour, and tell each of your guests to bring a friend. You'll be surprised at how naturally social circles can come together, and at the lasting connections you can make when bonding face-to-face."

So the lack of friends is not specifically an Aspie problem but more so an Introvert problem. Most Aspie males are introverts. (not all!) Half the worlds population are introverts and the other half extroverts. Introverts in general find it difficult to make friends. So if you are an introvert and want to make friends, the best choice is to find another introvert. So actually the suggestion made about hosting a get together and making sure that each of the invited bring along a friend is not a bad idea.


Source: Average American has this many actual friends, study determines

All things equal, introverts understand other introverts better than, extroverts understand introverts

But not all things are equal

Some introverts are arrogant, homophobic, judgmental. Just like some extroverts are arrogant, homophobic and judgmental

I’m an introvert, but I find it easier to talk to extroverts. When I’m talking to a fellow introvert, I find it difficult to sustain a conversation and it can get really awkward. Extroverts don’t mind talking away, so it puts less social stress and pressure on me. Then I just ask questions here and there and listen.

I am very shy at first. However once I open up it is difficult to stop me talking. Yet I rarely spoke in school or college. In a new group at a social event I will hardly talk at all and just watch. However, when I have beeen employed in certain roles in the past I will talk to groups of strangers. It is as if the uniform or officialdom of the position is some sort of protection?
When I get to know people I do talk, and if there is just one or two I may talk too much, and others have to politely tell me that others need to talk as well! Haha.
I absolutely hate a crowded place where many people talk at the same time as I just want to put my hands over my ears! Quiet everyone! Hehe!
Sorry. I am off on a tangent.

Making friends. This is a hard one for me. I mean. I know many people and in a way I can say they are friends, but they are people that though I love, I keep a distance from so I don't know if they are friends. I tend to lose people due to faceblindness, and also find connecting with people difficult as I tend to go very deeply into narrow interests and am not that great at smalltalk. Things like the weather... Why talk about it? Just look at the sky and see for yourself!