How to cope in crowded supermarkets...

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I normally go to the supermarket early in the morning when there's not many people, but today I've got to wait in for a delivery and it hasn't arrived yet, so it looks like I'm going to have to do my shopping around midday, when it's busier. I need to do shopping today because I haven't got any lunch or other essential needs, and I work until late at night.

I get very agitated in crowded supermarkets, and I cannot focus properly on what I'm doing. I also find myself getting angry at people who get in my way or seem oblivious, and I have to keep this "relaxed" mask on, when inside I am swearing and want to scream, which I find exhausting. Also there are so many mothers with screaming brats, or brats that toddle about in your way, and I just don't have the patience for them. The noise of kids and the people moving about left and right or standing blocking the whole aisle, just f***s me right off and I just feel so fed up and overwhelmed.

Does anyone have any tips on how to cope in a crowded supermarket when you have social anxiety? This might help other autistics or people with social anxiety too.

Ps. I don't do online shopping.

Those who know me here will think I'm like a broken record on this but.....earplugs. They don't solve the visual overload, but they help me greatly by eliminating the potential shock of loud noises. For those who might be self conscious, use the clear kind that are basically invisible.

Can you pare down you shopping list to stuff you can just grab and run? Having to make choices raises my stress level. Though it is even worse when I can't find stuff. So it helps if I know exactly where stuff is supposed to be.

I do always write a shopping list, in the order of the shop (for example, vegetables first because they're in the first aisle, etc). That way I don't have to keep going back on myself. That's why I go to the same supermarket, not only because it's the nearest to my house but because I roughly know what's where.

The only noise I dislike in supermarkets is kids having temper tantrums, or the sound of kids voices shrieking and demanding. If you take away all the babies and toddlers, the supermarket is bearable noise-wise. I am able to filter out any other noise, and lights or smells don't bother me at all.

Can you avoid toddlers by shopping in another aisle and waiting until they are elsewhere?

Two things. I am one where because I am on edge so act differently, I end up with security staff following me which makes things worse, so I tend to want to nip in, go straight to the thingI want, go straight tompay for it and get out.
Some supermarkets have narrow isles which I just don't go in. I avoid shopping unless I have to, which I can do as it is my mum who buys the food etc.
Now I habe noticed when I have had to go through our town centre on a crowded day and I have no choice I walk fast and I tend to go into a "Tunnel Vision" mode where all the crouds of people around me will turn into flat walls as I walk through. If someone gets in my aay the tunnel vision switches off and I start to panic!
I don't know how but I used to work some of Britains most crowded trains, but to be honest, I would always have an uncrowded cab to go back to. Sometimes when I couldn't cope I would be in the cab for a stop or two until the train was less crowded. I did this for nine years.

Anyway, I live in italy which is a very calm and relaxed enviroment often (people here tend to live with a much slower pace than America I think) which is also helping me when I'm outside.

To be honest, reading all the news I read from America, knowing there are so many people with guns out there I wouldn't know how I could deal with myself being in the outside world just for more than 10 minutes.

How do you guys with autism stay calm and relaxed in America knowing that almost every individual has a weapon with himself? I know this is being paranoid but for me it would a real issue.

I have a supply of Ramen noodles and canned goods so I still have something to eat when I can't make it to the supermarket. You may want to consider doing something similar. I shop at a big Asian market that has really good Ramen noodles for about $2USD per serving, as well as cheaper stuff.

I can't really avoid aisles while people with babies are in because they are everywhere. I live in an area where there are lots of families and those chavvy types who don't control their kids properly.

Stopping to play a game on my phone in the middle of a busy supermarket is not a suitable solution for me, but I'm not saying it's a bad idea, as it might work for some. But I'd lose concentration very easily and I'd feel that I have to have eyes in the back of my head to make sure I'm not in the way of other shoppers.

Like I said in an earlier post here, I do write out a shopping list in the order of where things are positioned, so that I don't have to go backwards and forwards.

I'm not prone to meltdowns but I do show emotions by sighing, rolling my eyes and tutting, and walking very quick with my cart when there is space, to show people that I'm in a hurry and have no time for dawdlers who seem oblivious to those around them.

What works for me:-

MP3 player on full blast ( drowns out the supermarket noise )
Polarized Sunglasses ( Yellow tint )
False smile for those awkward , you go left I go right , little dance in the isle confrontations
Use Tesco's so you can Scan As You Shop ( eliminates long checkout queues and human interaction )

There are a lot of good suggestions here. Let me recap:
* Wear earplugs or listen to music on headsets.
* Make a shopping list in advance. [It helps to keep the focus on the primary objective to shopping and also prevents you from forgetting an item.]
* Use deep breathing techniques if the anxiety gets too great.
* Select the time of day to go shopping. Stores tend to be less crowded at 2 A.M.
* Always keep a small stash of emergency food in the house for the times when you forgot to shop.

To this I will add "wear sunglasses". This will help with both florescent light sensitivity and will prevent others in the store from misinterpreting your intentions. Many emotions are conveyed by the eyes. If you cover your eyes, NTs will have a hard time misinterpreting your emotions. My favorite is blue mirrored glasses, no tint, polarized.

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Generally I do not mind grocery shopping. I almost enjoy it. There are only two things that drive me crazy.
* The first is when my wife puts an item on the shopping list that is "rare". She finds some recipe somewhere and writes an object down. The grocery store doesn't carry it or no longer carries it and I spend hours searching the store for it. I finally give up and ask one of the store clerks. He said "Oh yes, I know what you are looking for. We use to carry it but for some reason the store discontinued it a year ago!" For example, sugar cubes. They were the mainstay in restaurant for years. You might also reward a horse by giving them one. No longer available.
* When the store changes the location of the item within the store. Generally when I go grocery shopping for the first time in a new store, I subconsciously remember where everything is located in the store. So when I go grocery shopping I know where to go. But when a store moves everything around, it causes me a little distress.

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Some stores in the States are becoming very automated. You can shop for groceries on-line on your computer, drive up to a certain designated parking spot and the store clerks will even bring your groceries to your car and you never even need to leave your car. But for this to work, you need a car and be able to drive or have someone who can drive.

There are other forms of automation. There are separate aisles where you can pay for your merchandise by yourself and avoid using a cashier.

Also as SaveFerris mentions, another automation technique being used in grocery stores is a little hand scanner device called a Tesco. You pick up the scanner as you enter the store and scan each item as you put it into the cart. That way when you pay it eliminates long checkout queues and human interaction.

Now I don't use any of this new fangled stuff. I am 70 and I don't much like change. I really miss the days when you drove into a gas station and an attendant would come out pump your gas, check your oil and clean your windshields.

Went out shopping on Saturday at 8AM. Wasn't too bad, even on Memorial day weekend!

I have never tried any of these. I just don't go in. However something makes sense to me... First of all, I don't normally like dark glasses BUT once when I was at the dentist where I am usually in quite an internal panic... And it aas a dentist who is no longer there... Well they put these protective eye coverings on me which were quite large. They were an orange colour, and I was so engrossed in my own little world wearing these that the detist could have almost done anything to my teeth. I was like "WOOW" as I was looking around.. It was great! So if I wore that odd colour orange (Are they available?) and what I wear has a similar effect, I would be able to tackle narrow tall supermarket isles, hospital corridors and very busy town centres with no issues. I used to hate working trains to and from Cardiff on rugby days as not only dis I have crowded trains, when I went to aalk outside to get a stress relief the crowds were sometimes even more intense! A whole city centre full of people...

For me, when I wear dark glasses I sometimes find them depressing. Also, normal glasses I don't wear for long as I don't really like wearing things on my face. I will wear clear lightweight glasses for cycling to prevent flies going in my eyes. I usually only wear them for going downhill or on the flat. I take them off for climbing back up this hill.