Living Accomodations

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Long post; if it's in the wrong forum then feel free to move.
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I wondered if anyone has ever received help for their living situation because of the influence it can have on your mental health, and a way to go about it tactfully? (I’m in the UK).

I live with my parents in rented accommodation and receive no benefits; I am out of work and help my dad as he is self-employed. However. I find having to live in the same living space and work space a problem; not for myself personally as I can easily switch off from the work. My father though is a different kettle of fish. He ruminates on all aspects of the job 24/7; on advertising, customers etc. It’s never a 'Good Morning' - it's usually a 'No ones buying today.'

He doesn't go out or ever take a couple of days off (taking a break is when he sits down to watch the news) and then its 'back in the office.' His special interest / obsession / hobby is work. I don't begrudge him for being self-employed, but I do find that it adversely affects his attitude and exaggerates his own mental health problems; we also suspect and he himself says he has Asperger’s (although undiagnosed). He is supposed to be semi-retired, but no matter how often I or mum offer to help out on running some aspect of the business so he can actually do something enjoyable for himself, he never takes us up on it, or will scrutinise our efforts down to the finest detail - and then change it all himself anyway.

I've always known him to be pessimistic and negative; he drinks too much and can be verbally abusive. He gets easily agitated and when things aren't going well then it is 'everyone else's fault'. He is VERY money-focused and bitter about anything and everything.

I get it, right? We are financially struggling. It’s stressful. But he says we have our heads in the sand; that we don’t care. It’s not that we don’t care – it’s that he’s repetitive and miserable and constantly on and on. Trying to have a conversation with him is like trying to calm down a toddler – it’s f*****g exhausting. You give him a solution, or suggestion, and he dismisses it in an instant. He is ‘always right’.

My mum gave up on trying to explain anything to him long ago and so have I. But being around it has increased my depression and anxiety – I stay in my room 99% of the time and I constantly walk on eggshells as the smallest thing sets him off. I really don't want to live under the same roof anymore. Being in this atmosphere has decreased my motivation to absolute zilch; if I go out, the thought is always in my head that this is what I’ll be coming back to. So why bother in the first place?

I had my initial assessment a month ago and am currently waiting for their written report (the psych said I qualify for a diagnosis). I can’t afford to move, have no one outside of family, and the thought of taking the easy way out is getting to me more and more.

The answer may be to become financially self sufficient. This is part of the road for becoming independent. The path to this goal is finding work outside the home. You mentioned that you are working for your father's business. That implies that you have some marketable skills. So the next step is to find employment that taps into those skills. In time as your earnings increase you will have the ability to transition into living in your own housing.

Beginning in my early teens, I worked part time jobs while in school. By the time I was about 20 I was financially independent. I not only covered my living cost but also paid my way through college.