I hate to be that person

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I hate to be that person who creates an account after stalking this site for weeks but to make things short, I'm sorta on the edge of wonder whether or not I could be on the spectrum or not. Okay so here's my story, my brother is a low function autistic 15 year old boy who's non verbal, how ever he reacts to commands and communicates with hand motions or not, what makes me think that I could be on the spectrum would be a)my relationships with people and friends. For me, it's hard to make friends but its excurucatijgly painful to keep them. I've been told from a friend that they've felt like they were raising me and that I always seem lifeless. I'm also very prone to offending and hurting the ones that are close to me without even knowing with being super blunt and cutthroat. I dont work well in social situations and I tend to freeze up and become almost non verbal in events such as parties. Alot of my friends from my childhood have been way younger than me, for example, me being best friends with a 2 year old when I was 5, to me being good friends (almost best since I saw her everyday) to a 5 year old when I was 13.. throughout my life I was always the weird and uncoordinated kid which resulted in me getting bullied a whole lot throughout my childhood, causing me to become the recluse that I am now, and b) certain obsessions and interests, as far as I can remember I was obsessed with the color purple to the point when it consumed my life, 90% of the clothes I wore were purple, I would always use up my purple marker or crayon to the nib because I didn't care about using the other colors of the box and up until december of 2018 my room was still washed in a sea of purple, also entering late elementary and middle school I became obsessed with anime and manga, specifically a show named Hetalia which also fueled my already existing love for history and geography. I was so obsessed to the fact that I knew every single character, what relation they had to each other even the extremely minor characters that only showed up once or twice in the anime or manga, the controversies, the creators birthday, you get the jist. c) idioms and metaphors were always an extremely hard concept to grasp for me growing up, which resulted in me getting lower than average grades in language arts in elementary school, even till this day, even though I used slang time to time, certain words took me a long time for me to understand what they ment and even still confuse me till this day. Anyways, I understand if u dont want to read all of this, it's way too long for a simple post on a forum but I would very much appreciate it if I got some advice for this

Nothing wrong with lurking for a while before you finally get around to posting. Indeed that's a good way to learn what's appropriate to post in a forum.


We can't diagnose you online, but, from the way you describe yourself, it does sound likely that you could be on the spectrum.

Hopefully there are psychotherapists in your area who are knowledgeable about ASD and can test you? If you can't afford this and it's not covered by your insurance, try to see if you can find a place where psychotherapy student "externs" work under the direction of a fully qualified psychotherapist who specializes in ASD diagnosis. That's a LOT cheaper.

Welcome to wrong planet.

As a 17 year old insurance will probably cover an assessment. Your school psychologist might be qualified to give you an assessment or refer you to someone.

Welcome. It is worth you going for an assessment if you can. It does seem a possibility...