Has your family rejected you because of your autism?

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One of things that has big blow to my self esteem is that fact that I had a family I was never good enough for. A mother who always told me if I could act different she would want to be around me. No matter what I have gone threw they have always made clear that they are not there. I remember calling my mother once when I was homeless struggling with mental illness on top of autism and her tell me she cant help me because she doesnt know any thing about that and when I mention at one point she didnt she didnt know how to be a doctor but she learned she responded with I am just not going to help.
I have watched mothers who kids are on death row for sick twisted crimes want more to do with their children than my own mother does because I am different and her response my whole life Is if you can act different I want to be around you. What I really herd is because you are the way are I cant love. This woman would always say she loved but her actions always said get away from me.
She blames me for everything in fact when we fight as long as I am willing to apologize she is fine but she never will admit or listen to anything from me and when I tried to have regular contact with her she short on the phone always trying quickly get off you like a person who calls you who you really dont want to talk too so your polite but always have some reason you have to go.
I remember when I was in my twenties I would always ask to go and be with the rest of my family on get togethers we gu ave threw out the year and my mother would always tell me well we agrue some this and your not ready to go this year. No matter what it was always the same thing and always something I did or did not do that made me unacceptable to go. this woman used to rent me expensive apartments but she would not want me around on holidays.
Also when we used to live in the same town she would make time to meet which was painful. She would tell me well we need to make this quick because I have other things to do. I remember I used to tell her she makes me feel like I am quickie she was secretly banging on her lunch hour.
It has been even a decade or more since we have seen each other and she made no real attemps to see me. Like I dont matter.
As a kid she would hire these nannies who just awful. A nanny to tell me how my mother would be better without me several who where abusive and she would make me apologize to them for my behavior. One guy use to hold me on the floor crusfixtion style like Jesus on the cross and jump on my arms with his knees. She would make me apologize to him and even when she saw the marks on my arms she did nothing. In fact he continued to take care of me.
I cannot to talk to her because know matter what I say i am belittling her even if it is mother when you do x it makes me feel y. When I try to talk to her about real stuff she just throws it back in my face and makes no attempt to have communication.
So I have cut off contact with her for the most part because no matter what she just doesnt want to be with me.
This kind of stuff sticks with you and really f****d me up inside because of it. She like best friends with my sister but makes it feel almost like she wishes I dont extist.
My sister is the same wants nothing to do with and is convinced the behavior problems I have are result of being an as*hole. My other family like aunts uncles and nephews no relationship with. When people have died in my family I have no real sadness over it because I dont know them. It would be no different then hearing if your mother died. I be sad for you but because I may not have known your mom I wouldn't be hurt like you would be. That is because I have no connection with family.
Never had a home and for a lot of my adult life I wish I could change my aspies and my other problems because I really thought that was the only way I would every really be loved and accepted because who I am would not be good enough. If only I could be "normal" then I will be ok. Of course I learn this is false and even writing this all I kept thinking in my mind is if you truly love me mother it wouldn't matter the issues I had you still go out your way to be with me and why wasn't I good enough for you I am your son.
I remember once year ago I met a woman who was rejected by her family for her disabilities and at the time I remember thinking how lucky I was that didnt happen to me because it would be several years before I would see the forest for the trees and even though they had not out right disowned me they did kind of toss me aside. In fact it probably would have been a little less painful if they had then having to hear a mother say she loves me with her lips but walk away from with her hips.

So that is kind of my rejection story I wanted to put this out there to see if others had simliar experices. Where a family just kind of disowned you or didn't want anything to do with you because of your differences. It would really help to know I am not alone. Thanks for listening and reading this. A big thank you to those who take the time to respond.

No. My family wasn't aware of Asperger syndrome. I didn't feel rejected by them. I did, however, feel rejected by my peer group for being weird. However, I did have a few people who said I was a good person.

Being rejected by others is a whole other topic.

I feel like I've been "rejected" by some in my family; scorned by others; thought of as inferior by others.

C'est la vie!

As the Rolling Stones so piquantly put it: "You can't always get what you want."

The opposite. My family treats me like a little kid and is being way over-sheltering and over-protective because of my Asperger. Although the other two factors is that I am the only child and I have Jewish parents.

I actually envy people who feel ignored by their parents, I feel they are so lucky that they have their independence. Which is kinda funny given that I DO feel ignored when it comes to everyone "other than" my family, and I hate it. I guess I wish I could switch it around: get more attention from people other than my family, and less attention from my family. I guess its the case of "grass is greener on the other side".

When I argue with my mom about her being over-protective she often tells me "and then you complain about not having friends, well maybe thats why you don't have them since people can't stand those types of arguments" to which I tell her "and what makes you think my friends would be nearly as over protective as you are".

Idk if rejection is the right term for me. I think they just don’t understand the causes of who I am. I am sure they still love me.
Like my mom has no idea why I am alone most of the time, why I almost never speak to her, why I have gotten too overwhelmed in school, why earning a living is so hard for me, why I choose the wrong clothes all the time, etc etc.
I feel like they just don’t know me. But heck, I barely even know myself.

I imagine that would be difficult to having an overprotective mother as well but at least it would feel better cuz you know she really loves you. But I can see it getting in the way of you wanting to do your own life when you're older.

I don't think either one is healthy having an overprotective parent versus having a parent that basically ignores you. But my mom didn't ignore me she just would let everybody else make decisions about my life and save because I'm disabled they knew what was best for me. No matter how hard I would tried to get her to understand out certain things were not helping me and certain things were not working for me she would still take the advice of other people over me. I remember I was on this really harsh point system when I was a kid point system that had me cleaning the entire house within a week. Kind of point system I would rarely ever learn privileges on because of the so impossible. No matter how much I would ask to get off of it everybody thought it was the best thing for me so it was finally why drove me away from home into my first group home

Sounds like you really had it rough as a child.

I didn’t have it as rough as you...but it was rough enough.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

I feel rejected by my mother. She doesn’t introduce me to her friends.

My father sort of just benignly disregarded me in some ways. He’s not with us.

I rejected some of my family because of my autism.

Yes. As soon as I got the diagnosis you could feel the mental shuffling going on. Suddenly everything was my fault and nothing I said was worth listening to. Which is ridiculous as most of them are on the spectrum too, they just aren't self aware enough to admit it. My sister would have been labelled autistic immediately these days. As it was the psychologists told my mother she had a problem but mum went off on a religious tangent as if the invisible man in the sky could be trusted and she ended up seeing devils everywhere surprise surprise. I wonder which bit of having an exorcism performed on her put that idea in her head! But I am the one who is totally mad of course...

Don't get me started on religion and autism that's a whole other topic. I remember once when I lived in Albuquerque for a couple of months I went to this Baptist Church cuz I really love God and the pastor went out of his way to avoid me whenever I would try to talk to him about anything in my life not just autism his first response to me was always I can't help you I don't know anything about autism and he was not the first one to make me feel like they needed a Masters Degree in Psychology just to say hello to me. It was God awful experience.

I've even called churches where I live trying to find a good church to fit into because I only have been here a short time and I have had pastors on the phone that want to pray away my problems and anoint me with oil trying to heal me in the name of God. I have no problem with that I love God I believe he's capable of healing me but sometimes I believe he doesn't do that because we have our experiences because our experiences make us who we are how can I relate to you guys on this form had I never had the struggles of autism. How can I be empathetic towards mental illness if I never was mentally ill? I don't look at these as bad things. Just look at them as my life the same way people have other issues in their life. Maybe God would remove them but I kind of doubt that because it gives me a purpose and it gives me a path because I can stand up for people that other people would make fun of or run away from.

I remember once I was on the bus and there was this girl just talking to herself the whole time we were on the bus and this guy that I hadn't started a conversation with started to making fun of her. I tell him it is not her fault she has mental illness she sees things that aren't there. Now it could have been mental illness it could have been drugs or it could have been both but she certainly did not need to be made fun of. And had I not been down the same road I might have made fun of her to. Sometimes our scars are our greatest assets.
I have a lot of spare time. And I play a ton of video games

I find the same thing as I have aged people expect more from me socially then when I was younger. I get in trouble a lot for the things I miss socially. Like over staying my welcome is a big one for me especially at businesses. But I have learned over the years people think because they can you should be able too as well. I know in my case because I can do normal acting for short periods of time people dont understand when missing soical cues or my quirkiness comes .

No.