My life. Wonder if anyone can relate?

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I now have a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder but the UK government won't do anything to help me through life. They expect me to get and keep a job on my own, keep myself happy and motivated in life when I can't make any friends or find any relationship, function fine in school with absolutely no help whatsoever, not want to kill myself due to everyone telling me I am stubborn for not being able to understand the things that come natural to none ASD people repeatedly for my entire life, get fired from jobs due to these same reasons, all the time showing no hostility to anyone as I'm just not that sort of person. I have empathy for other's suffering, especially those with personality disorders as their pain seems similar to me. I am mad that I've been put in a world that is completely alien to me and doesn't cater to how I think at all but at the same time I would never take this out on anyone as I know Neurotypicals just don't understand us. I've given up on myself as I've tried absolutely everything I think of and gotten nowhere so now I'm trying to keep my NPD ex happy as I know he can't help his condition, I know he never actually loved me but he is the only person that ever bothered with me even though it was for selfish reasons he is all I have. PS (Yes I know I am f***ed up but that's what society did to me by not setting up any help at all for people like me)

I saw an ASD specialist counsellor and she told me I've done pretty well for someone with ASD and she couldn't help me any further as I've learned to drive and gotten a car (through no support and extreme stress to the point of extreme self harm I might add), Have a clean and tidy appearance (this was learned to try and fit in and be loved) and act socially like a Neurotypical Like maintaining eye contact and trying to be interested in things people say even if they're not about my interests (all learned of course). Still I've tried CBT three times!, tons of social groups, tons of jobs, been online dating for over 7 years, been to college and university, researched my condition like crazy and how to better myself and still I'm not able to get friends, a relationship (other than two guys that were narcissists and didn't give a s**t about me and they only lasted a few weeks before they dumped me) or a job and I'm stuck in my tiny bedroom in my parents house like a loser at 26 years old. Yeah, thanks a lot society.

Well the doctor did do one thing for me, he gave me antidepressants. So now i'm overweight and can't think straight unless I take caffeine pills to add to my list of problems but hey at least i'm slightly happier than I would be if I was in the same circumstances without pills lol

It is pretty much the same in America and most places, little to no help for diagnosed adults, especially so called “high functioning” autistic adults.

The problem a lot of autistics face is narcissists and other malevolent types pick up on and take advantage of autistics desperation for social interaction. It s a catch 22 the more desperate one is the more one is taken advantage of. The more one is taken advantage of the less ones self esteem is and the more desperate one becomes. The more desperate one is the more likely one is to try too hard and the desperation picked up by others. It is a vicious circle.

One needs to be a bit selfish. Cut off the people taking advantage of you. Pursue by yourself the topics you like. If you have a better self esteem and are happier you attract more people for you and less trying to take advantage of you. This is difficult to do and it will take time, and there will be discouraging setbacks, but since whomever dropped us off here is not likely to come back, it is better then the alternative IMHO.

Have you been in touch with the NAS or some form of autism advocacy? I've also seen that some autism groups offer a free counsellor drop-in session, as well as general life advice when needed. It might be worth looking these things up.

It's great that you have managed to do so much, but you still feel you are struggling with things and need help and that is also equally valid. I'd say don't listen to people that have no idea about you commenting on what you should/should not be able to do. Sometimes people who hardly understand things like to talk the loudest about them, and act like they are an authority on the subject.

I know you were asking if people relate rather than some kind of advice but I thought it might help (sorry if it doesn't). I'm sorry to hear you are currently struggling so much and hope things get better for you.

Oh thanks for sharing your experience. Unfortunately I can not promise to help you there.

You try and I don't and I feel like I could strike friendships much more if I wanted... besides highly practical people as we do not understand each other.

I can give a guess. You have educated yourself to become normal. Being normal makes you lack personality. Autistic people as I have understood are excellent at following rules. You need to break your rules but you need to know right place to break those rules. Also being completely accepted is wrong way going about it. You need to generate division where people look you differently but not too much that they are forced to break away from their comfort zone aka becoming alienated from their group. Being completely acceptable is fine if you can make people feel accepted emotionally aka having manipulative empathetic capabilities but autistic people do not manipulate people's emotions. Autistic people can learn to make people think differently giving intellectual stimuli by not accepting dogma.