I'm 18 And I've Never Been On A Date

Post Reply New Topic

I've had crushes on girls before, and I've even asked one out online. Nothing's ever panned out, though. Is it weird to be an 18-year old and to have never been in a relationship. I just feel a little insecure considering that a lot of boys my age seem to be obsessed with sex and dating.

It's not weird at all. I only started dating at 21 (yes. I'm a girl but went through the same of liking people and asking them out but nothing happened)

I went on 3 dates by the time I was 21 but they were only just one date, then I met my ex and we were together a year and a half, it'll happen when the time is right I know lots of guys who haven't dated yet around the same age for different reasons

Not weird at all for someone of your generation. I knew many in your shoes. More and more teens, gen Z are reporting never having had a relationship or even real friends. I've of course felt it too, you probbaly hear it a lot but if you're going to place the blame on something, blame the technology that intended to bring us all together but is doing the opposite.

Have you already graduated HS? Going to college, working, etc? Just want to know what options are available to you.

I’m currently in my sophomore year of college, and I work as a desk attendant for the dorm building next to mine.

I haven’t either. I’m 23. Maybe one day.

I was a touch late myself, even though as an outgoing female ASD I had opportunities. My BFF is a highly introverted female ASD and had her first date at 30-something. Now in our late 40s, we've had the same number of partners (mine were earlier, hers were later).

I am 33 and only been on a handful... to busy working all the time

I was in the same position at your age, and to a large extent, I still am, though I'd asked out more than a handful of people by the time I was 18. I got my first date when I was 19.5, and I haven't had one since. It seems to be quite common for autistic people, especially guys, to lag behind their peers in terms of love and dating experience. Some never get it at all.

I didn't have any interest in romantic relationships until I stumbled into my 1st one at about 20. That ended at 20 & I didn't get in my next relationship until I was 28 despite my best efforts at trying. I got in my current relationship shortly after that ended. I met my girlfriends on forums(the ladder two were this one) & I never done the whole dating thing. If any girls would of been willing to date me while I was in high-skewl, I'm sure it would of been out of pity cuz lots of people were making fun of me cuz of how awkward & dumb I was & I was too ret*d to realize they were.

I'm 30 and I've technically never been on a date. You'll survive.

No it isn't weird. It may be perplexing or embarrassing or even frustrating, and in my case at your age it was ALL of those things, but it is not weird. The trouble is that people who are dating are doing it conspicuously all around you, especially in the park on sunny afternoons. This creates the false impression that you are the only single person in the universe, and everyone else but you has already tried every possible kind of sex and enjoyed every possible kind of bliss, and every relationship is a completely happy and perfectly symbiotic one. You aren't and they haven't, and there are a hell of a lot of relationships so flaky (or so downright toxic) that they wouldn't be allowed on the road if they were motor cars.

During my teens I became suicidally depressed about never having had a girlfriend (I was attracted to boys as well, but smothered that frantically). For years, all my time and energy went into being unhappy about being still single. In retrospect I somewhat regret all the wasted time and wasted energy! I could have had some fun in my teens, but instead I pissed those years away, moping and obsessing about being single and unattractive. Eventually at the age of 22 I took an overdose. Naturally the doctors asked why. I was too embarrassed to tell them the real reason, namely, that I was still a virgin at 22. So, don't let this question crucify you the way it crucified me!

I was 28 before I went on my first date it was more like a "I will go for coffee so you don't murder me" kind of date. I didn't get a relationship until almost 30 and if I knew how off the wall crazy she was I would have happily waited a few more years.

FYI - Last night I happened to read the adulting section in the Guide to Asperger's. The situation is very common. Welcome to our experience of this planet. (and it was yet a third or fourth book to affirm that ASD folks often buck social conformity when dating - in age, race, socioeconomic status, etc.)

I know plenty of men and woman both AS and NT who never went on a date until their early - mid 20's.

I never went on a "date" until I was almost 23 - even though I had long term relationships with guys before that, I believe they were all narcissistic in personality, saw my vulnerability and pressured me to be their serious girlfriend before even going on a date to get to really know me properly. I was nice to go on a date with someone who wanted to spend more time with me, rather than someone who immediately locked me down as their girlfriend, start pressuring me and expect that my shyness/awkwardness was just a phase.

Repeat after me, slowly:
NORMAL.. IS... A... SETTING... ON... A... DRYER.

We don't buck conformity. We ignore it, provided we were aware of it in the first place.

@OP: I had my first date at 21 or thereabouts.
I look back on memories of high school and see that there was a girl in a few of my classes who had a pretty serious crush on me. I was completely and utterly clueless at the time.

Get out into the world and make friends, provided you can find people who are worthy of being your friends. Find others who share special interests. Dating will take care of itself at the proper time (for you). Forcing the issue before its time generally does not end well.

You aren't alone. I think there are a plenty of people (both NT/AS people) who have been on date at that age. My NT sister didn't have her first date at 18 and I think she is still looking for it. I'm 22 and have really only been on a handful of dates with no girlfriend. I think it's common for AS guys to be late bloomers in the dating game. You're still young though and got plenty of time to find someone.