I envy men

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Yesterday I was chatting to my mum about what sort of wedding I could have. But then she started saying that if I want to invite guests to the wedding I will have to get my hair styled, have all makeup done perfectly, grow and paint my nails, lose a bit of weight and buy a big, white wedding dress. I've never been very knowledgeable about makeup and I'm not one for fancy hairstyles and I bite my nails, so it sounds like a lot of extra pressure.
Then I said, "how come men don't have to go through all that and still look nice?"

And my mum replied, "because men are lucky."


It's not fair. Both genders have to look their best, but it seems that it takes more skill, effort, time, money, enthusiasm and pressure for women to look their best. It's as though women are born ugly and need lots of cosmetics and false applications to look nice, while all it takes for a man is a smart suit with a tie, and neat or shaven beard and clean hair and body. I find wedding dresses look uncomfortable.

You don't HAVE to do all that to get married. Heck, some couples go to the courthouse and get married in their t-shirts and jeans. It's not a requirement to do the all-out Instagram wedding, no matter what anyone says. That's a choice that couples make. Not to mention it's pushed by wedding planners and anyone selling anything related to weddings - weddings are an enormous cash cow and it's no wonder it's engrained in us starting when we are little girls that this is something we're SUPPOSED to do. We're not. All of it is entirely unnecessary. Your wedding can be as inexpensive as you want it to be.

On a separate note, men are not "lucky," they're just different. Men have their own set of cultural issues they have to deal with that women generally do not. No one gender has it easier than the other. We each have our own set of problems.

Your statement is correct

And I envy men too

(Cisgender)

But that is not the reason why I envy men

Sexism

No period, pregnancy

Taller, leaner, stronger (physically and average)

Earn more $$$

Don't have breasts (manboobs)

Bra

No, you don't need all these.
It's your wedding, not your mother's.
You choose how much of all these you're comfortable with.
There is nothing offending in inviting guests to your wedding without wearing heavy makeup, styled hair and big white dress.

When choosing my wedding dress, I needed to send my mother away so I could hear my own thougths.
I discussed the reception mainly with my fiance, we wanted neither of our parents to have too much say.
It's your day, not your parents'.

Are you two thinking of marriage?

It's a cultural thing that women have to put in a lot of effort while men just have to take care of basic hygiene and such to be said to look good. However, if enough women put their foot down and just look the way they feel comfortable with (without looking messy or indecent), expectations will slowly change as well.

Well that is nonsense, you can do whatever you want for your wedding...hell you could even just go do the legal part and skip the ceremony. That said especially these days I am sure there are plenty of people who opt for more casual weddings rather than doing the whole fancy dress up thing. Also, it probably costs a lot less money to do something less fancy as well.

Well I think this summer I might finally have the guts to rather then just not shave my arm-pits, to actually wear a sleeveless shirt without them shaved. I probably will not post a picture on the internet like I have seen plenty of other women do still not that comfortable about it.

Lucky, indeed!

Lucky that we don’t have mothers forcing upon us their ideas of what a perfect wedding should be.

It’s YOUR wedding, Joe. Make your own plans.

Poor, lonely, sad men is actually attractive to me. It's how I met my boyfriend. He always had unironed clothes and seemed too shy to talk to me, and at first I thought he didn't like me or that I was annoying him when I tried to chat him up. But then when he asked me my name, I knew he did like me, so I took that chance and chatted him up more until we mutually discussed a date and exchanged phone numbers (and he told me that he lived on his own and was lonely). Five years later we are still happily together. He's NT by the way.
I'm NOT with him due to pity. I'm with him because I love him. I'm not with him for money either. In fact when he was suffering with a chest infection and I was panicking that he might die, he said that I will be rich when he dies due to all his life insurance or whatever it is that can be passed on to his widow. But I yelled at him, "I don't want to be rich, I just want you!"


Anyway

If the guy has the pressure to "make the first move" then who makes the first move among lesbians?

The only thing I really envy is they don't have to bleed out of their genitals once a month and get the associated cramps I mean that sh*t sucks.

Ahem, THEIR wedding. Joe's mom gets no say in it, but her future husband does if he wants to. If she does get married, it's not her wedding, it's theirs. They need to decide stuff together, or at least Joe would need to check if her man wants to plan stuff too. But if he doesn't, then Joe would have free hands of course.

For some perspective: there is a culture in (I think) Afghanistan where young men, in order to be allowed to get married, have to be publically flayed from their belly-button to the tip of the penis. They are not allowed to show pain, or they fail.

^ Would suck to be one of them, then. Still, that doesn't make the fact that in most cultures way more is expected of women than of men when it comes to looks any less wrong.

Also doesn't change the fact that beauty standards are policed and upheld way more by women than by men.

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Please keep the "who has it harder in life" crap out of this thread.

Thanks.

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