I need help moving out! Can someone please help me?

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I'm 21 and i'm going to move out of my parents house. I'm going to be living on my own for the very first time. The thing is, I have special needs(Autism) and a learning disability, so I need help with the process. I would ask my parents to help me, but they don't really want me to move out on my own(i'm moving out anyway), so they won't help me. I'm hoping someone on here can help me. First, how do I get an apartment? What exactly do I need to do in order to get an apartment? Not only that, but i'm moving to a different state. I can get a job in the state i'm moving to, but can I wait until after I move to start working? If so, how can I explain that to my new boss? The state i'm moving to is too far away from where I currently live, so i'd have to wait until after I move to start working. Also, how do I pay bills? How do I pay rent when living in an apartment? Lastly, can I choose my own move-in date for when I move into my new apartment so that I can give my parents enough notice? I'd like my parents to get to say goodbye to me before I move. Lastly, what do I do if I get laid off from my job one day? So basically, can someone here please give me an easy-to-follow step-by-step guide on how to move out on your own and live on your own? I have a learning disability, remember? That's why I need it to be easy to follow. Thank you to whoever helps me!

I applaud your efforts to become more independent.

There is not a step-by-step process to follow, but here are some questions which would make it easier for people here to give you some pointers.

Do you have SSI? If not, what are you using for income? You post as living in New Jersey, so if you don't get SSI, you should apply for it. After age 18, you are considered an adult and eligible. Note I said SSI and not SSDI. You will need an income stream, or at least substantial savings in order to move.

Have you set up a budget, or at least a general idea of how much this will cost? In the past, one looked to newspaper ads for apartments to rent. I suspect that is all on line now.

Unless you can work remotely, or have specialized knowledge an employer wants, you should wait until you have moved before looking for a job.

Are you planning to drive to your new location? Do you have a driver's license?

These would be a start.

Depends on the state.

You can get cheap rents in central Pennsylvania. I’ve seen it as cheap as the $300s.

You won’t get that in Jersey.

If not in a big metro area, a car is a must in the US. I would seek to get my license. Did you have drivers ed in high school?

Examples assume a monthly rent of $600.

Application:

1. +Applications usually cost $25 or more per applicant because of a background and/or credit check/score
2. +Proof of income 2.5 - 3 times the rent at least ($1500 - $1800 per month in income)
3. +Current job info (mainly how long have you been employed there)
4. +SSN
5. +Guarantor?
6. +Photo ID

Rent:

• +Security deposit of 1 month’s rent ($600)
• +First month’s rent ($600)
• +Last month’s rent ($600) **this requirement varies
• +Some will have online payment options that may include automatic pulls from your checking or savings account. Some will require money orders. Fewer will take personal checks or cash. ALWAYS GET A RECEIPT!

Utils:

• +If the rent includes utilities, you’ll nearly always overpay. If you manage it yourself, you’ll have multiple due dates and monthly costs will vary. But you’ll usually save money over included utilities.
• +Internet & cable may be included utilities.
• +Some require an opening deposit amount (elec + gas + water $150)
• +Many have online payment options that may include automatic pulls from your checking or savings account.

Misc:

• +Renter’s insurance: Usually cheap. Some landlords will require this.
• +Laundry: in-unit, shared on property facilities (costs), or none (laundromat costs)
• +Appliances: in many areas these are part of the rental. Some areas will require you to bring some (washer & dryer usually) or all of your own.
• +Small appliances: decent chance that you might need to bring your own microwave

Lease:

• +Rent is usually due on the 1st of the month with an indicated “grace” period
• +First month may have prorated costs if not moving in on the 1st (ie moving in on the 16th would be half a month $300)
• +Late rent fees & bounced check or insufficient funds fees
• +Rules on vehicles, garbage, noise, inspections, etc.

What she said is true.

Don’t let it deter you, though.

It would be far easier if you got a job.

Or you can go to college while living with your parents (probably better option). Parents usually respect college student children.

$10 an hour at 40 hours a week is $1,600 a month.

Also there are different types of apartments. Some are furnished but most are unfurnished. A furnished apartment has furnishings, such as beds, sofas etc. In an unfurnished apartment one needs to buy the furnishings and move them into the apartment. But that doesn't need to happen on the first day. It can happen over time. When I first moved into an apartment I bought a mattress and slept on that for several years on the floor before I finally bought a bed frame and inner springs to create a full bed.

Many times you can buy used items initially and then upgrade over time. This allows you to keep the initial cost to a minimum.

Furnished rooms have a tendency to be lousy places. Not all of them are...but probably most are.

Apartment complexes vary greatly.

Some are nice.

Others really suck.

Thrift shops are good places to buy sometimes decent furniture.

You can also look on Facebook’s Marketplace to find people who are selling their used furniture in your area for cheap prices.

I would like you to succeed in your vision of moving out. But moving into your first apartment can be a very daunting task even for neurotypicals. Generally they succeed by seeking someone to help and guide them through the process. On this website you can receive some advice about the steps but it really takes more than that. It is someone who helps to move your belongings into the apartment, or helps you buy a heavy sofa and move it into the apartment. It takes a physical person who has your best interest at heart. Someone who will help you through all the problems along the way.

So I would recommend that you find this person first. That is your first step. If your parents will not help, then perhaps an older brother or sister who has moved off on their own. Or many an aunt or uncle or best friend or co-worker.

Sometimes a parent will not help but then when they finally realize that you have made up your mind and started the process, they will step in and help. Not always but sometimes.

Would you be so kind as to post your reasons for wanting to move out? If it helps, I didn't live entirely on my own, for good, until I was almost 30 years old. You are even quite young to be living on your own when compared to NTs your age, nowadays. I should add that, living "on one's own" is a much easier transition when moving in with peers, with whom you already know you can coexist in that way. Whereas you seem to want to pursue a completely solitary living situation.

Sorry to seem so negative by the way.

Why don't your parents want you to move out on your own? I mean I get it your 21, and adult and you want to live our own life...but even so it may not be best to rush into it. Or maybe start a bit smaller, I mean I am sure there is work in the state you already live in plus then you would at least be closer to your parents if you need their help.

But Idk if you are on disability or not, or if you've even had a job before...those details may be helpful for people to give better advice. If you are on disability you qualify for subsidized housing for instance. Or if you have never had a job moving all the way to another state, paying for an apartment and then starting your first job may not be a very good idea. You could always get a job while still living at home and think more about moving out once you've held that job for a while. If you have been working and holding a job then maybe you are more prepared than some of us think.

But if you go all the way to another state, get that apartment and then the job doesn't end up working out...then it'll be a bad situation. If you are unable to pay rent they can evict you, also usually to get an apartment you have to sign either a 6 month or 12 month lease, so if you were unable to keep the job and didn't find a new one right away and had to move back home you would still owe money because there are fees for breaking the lease early.

Not trying to be negative but, seems like you could use to think some of this through a bit more, before making a final decision. Just don't want to see you get majorly burnt out so young like I did, by throwing yourself into a situation with no support that you aren't prepared for.