Feeling confused and depressed when someone dislikes me

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There's this girl I used to work with who I was always so nice to, but I have a feeling she hates me now. She left in the summer and got pregnant, and I still have her on Facebook, and I wrote a "congratulations" message on her post when she announced that she was pregnant, along with her other friends and family. I haven't seen her until the other night when I was at a bar with my boyfriend, and I could tell that if I hadn't said hello to her first she would have not acknowledged me at all, even though she was standing near. I wanted to have a friendly chat and ask her how she was getting on and stuff, but she sort of looked away.

You might say she may not want to associate herself with her ex-colleagues now that she's left, but she is still in touch with some of the guys there and I heard she called in the other day to see them (I wasn't there at the time). She's also in touch with this girl that used to work with us (this girl still works here but different shifts to me now so I don't get to see her much). This girl was very shy and didn't talk much beyond small talk and has a similar "down to earth" personality as me, but they still seem to like each other better than me even though we are around similar age.
Last month I saw on Facebook that they both met up on a Saturday to get their nails done together or something.

I just feel hurt as to why the girl that left doesn't seem to like me any more. It's hard not to take it personally. It's a wonder she hasn't unfriended me on Facebook yet. It does hurt but I don't like to ask what her problem is because I don't want to sound bitchy (even though she's the one who's acting bitchy). Asking people why they don't like you just makes them dislike you even more.

I'm no help. I know I am supposed to put more "effort" into relationships, or be more "appropriate" or else not "care" when I get ditched, but I am just as confused. I would be friends forever with everyone, but apparently most folks don't work like that.

Too many friends and significant others of my friends don't like me (those that don't like creepy or weird, or some say they are jealous of me --- ?! !! !). Past co-workers who I knew didn't like me and some who seemed to, stay in touch with others, but not me - even after the rare occasion I've made an effort. Apparently non-hypersensitive folks simply "move on, no hard feelings". I could stay in FB contact with someone that is no longer a fast friend by hiding them from my news feed FOREVER --- I think non-hypersensitive folks have this function in their brain.

I had a friend reschedule at the last-minute twice, and I couldn't handle it. I did not reschedule a third time. I haven't heard from her since. I reluctantly sent her a Christmas card and it crossed in the mail with one she sent me. Now what? Rekindle the friendship or not? Harrumph. And my BFF's BF doesn't like me. It's near intolerable for me and I'm not supposed to care. Right there with you. Where's the "off" switching for caring about this crap?

I'm glad you know how I feel.

It's hard to just not care, because I do care and I don't really know how to not make myself care.

If the girl left and didn't have anything more to do with anyone else there, or even just a few other than me, I wouldn't really care. But when it's just me she doesn't want to know, it's hard not to take it personally. I feel like blocking her on Facebook so that I won't have to get upset when I see her replying to everyone else's statuses, but blocking people like her on Facebook will just stir trouble, and I'm not the sort to block someone unless they're bullying me (which she's not).

I "blocked" all of FB when I was going through a rough time: didn't have an account. Now there are one to two people I "snooze" for months at a time when they are too political for me. I don't recall "unfollowing" the person who is too social for me, but she's no long in my FB newsfeed so perhaps FB figured that one out for me. Yep, I just checked, I am still following her, so I guess I stopped "liking" her posts or she didn't "like" mine, so FB took care of that.

My thought is to acknowledge that we care, regarding the discomfort, take action or not. Turn our focus elsewhere...

I do spend a lot of time dwelling on these things. And it's not about the cliche, "she just doesn't want to be friends with you, you can't expect everyone to be friends with you, blah blah blah" because I know someone here is going to write that and if you do then just piss off because that insensitive cliche is not the point. This has happened too many times in my life to be coincidental. Someone staying friends with everyone else except me is rather hard not to take personally, and I'd love to ask her what everybody else has that I don't, but like I said before that will just make things worse.

I was always nice to this girl; I was friendly and very understanding of her mental health issues she had, and she didn't think I was weird because she used to call me and the others "normal", implying that being normal was something she lacked. And she was too self-centered to really see any standoffish vibes with me (if any) and would only judge those who were against her, which I wasn't. So I don't see why I should get ostracized.

It's not that she's the most important person in the world to me. Far from it. It's just the principle of the matter that is upsetting me; the bigger picture.

People can be peculiar at times and I'll never figure them out.

It is easy to take this kind of thing personal and I would as well.

I've found that people are two faced and this is also a great puzzle to me because it just doesn't make sense to me that someone can be really nice and look me in the eye and appear sincere and actually not really like me (tell me to piss off now if you like).

It is a pointless battle and a complete waste of energy to worry about these things but I also know that you will worry (as I do).

Block her Joe. Do what you need to do.

I'm told it's their problem and they're missing out. I am an intense, honest person and there are folks in this world who avoid honesty. I have letters from numerous folks saying they were put off by me but then when we got to talking (one on one) I blew their minds and they are better for it. There are people who do not want to have mind-blowing experiences, who don't want to see any Truths other than their own small perceptions. Those people instinctively know to stay away from me I suppose. In the past it hurt, now I am exploring the idea that **I** don't want to be with folks like that. They "reject" me, I choose to stay rejected by someone like that: wear it as a badge.

On the other hand, I have an issue where I don't stay in touch friends, I'm the typical AS: I'll call when I need you. And then I won't (if you're NT) b/c that seems impolite. So I don't appear to be open or I am not initiating get togethers. Last year my New Year's Resolution was to have friends over once a month and that went well (for four months). Might have to do that again.

People are put off by my directness and I know that but I don't understand why it would put them off.

I also ask people what their problem is when I know they have a problem with me. For this I'm told that I'm aggressive but for me it's because I'm constantly in "fight" mode. It's an anxiety thing.

@joe, I'm wondering if your friendliness and politeness translates as the opposite in the nt world.

Idk.

I don't want to tell anyone here to piss off, I just hate it when people just bluntly put something that is quite hurtful when you're already feeling hurt. I just get confused at these sorts of situations because it makes me feel ashamed of who I am. I even stood up for this girl when one of the other workers upset her once. Well, the other worker didn't exactly upset her, she just took it the wrong way and got all dramatic about it, but I comforted her as a selfless intention.
What confuses me is the way she still loves the quiet girl I mentioned in my OP. The quiet girl is literally more like me; sensitive, shy, down to earth, kind and likes the same interests as me and has similar personality as me. I hardly ever seen the two of them talk to each other that much when we were all working together, so I thought that sort of friendship would fade now that she's gone.

Maybe I am just overthinking this, but overthinking is what I do, it's the way my brain is wired. I don't think I come across as "different to what I think I am" to NTs, because I am self-aware enough to know what I'm doing and saying, and I understand social graces and I seem to have succeeded in a romantic relationship with my NT boyfriend.
But when you suffer with depression on and off, it is easier to focus more on the people who don't like you than all the people that do like you.

It's a bit like if there were 50 people and 49 said I was beautiful but 1 person said I was ugly, I would dwell on the opinion of that one person.

Whenever someone does not like you, I have learned that if you do confront them, they may get quiet or make up excuses like
“I am sorry but I have been busy I will call you in a few days.” Others might get offended if you do that.

It is better to ask her “Have I done anything to turn you off or are you not interested?” Then leave it at that.

Whenever someone does not like you, I have learned that if you do confront them, they may get quiet or make up excuses like
“I am sorry but I have been busy I will call you in a few days.” Others might get offended if you do that.

It is better to ask her “Have I done anything to turn you off or are you not interested?” Then leave it at that.