Slowness

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I'm slow, and I don't consider it a derogatory qualifier for wich I should be ashamed even if society thinks otherwise.

In this frantic and hostile world, being slow is the target of punishment, of mockery.

Slowness is usually associated with states of laziness, apathy, neglect, desmotivation, of the most infamous sins in the world. It's also usually seen as a form of free choice, as if slowness didn't have a need or an alternative in many cases.

Endless words have been directed towards me and my slowness. I can't even remember exactly and accurately the amount of phrases that have been dedicated to me to pressure me to do things faster.

They don't care about my clumsiness. They ignore the fact that I stumble easily, even on my own feet, and still require me to run. Why? There is a latent desperation to do things faster, because supposedly so more things can be done later. And in the chaos in wich we go around, it is "relevant" to do a lot of things.

Regardless of whether we do the wrong things, or how they are done, the important thing is to finish early and start with the following. I have the constant feeling of uncertainty about it. And I know that I am not the only one who experiences it, and I don't mean other autistic people precisely.

By neurotypical standards, I'm slow.

I speak slowly, I walk slowly, I swim slowly, I write slowly, I chew slowly, I think slowly, I read slowly, I draw slowly, I take a shower slowly, I work slowly, I react slowly, I assimilate information slowly...

I even think that I got worse because of my depression.

If I watch a movie or a video and the images run very quickly, I cannot fully assimilate what my eyes perceive, therefore I overlook the most significant details. This slowness is usually not very noticeable, but other times it's immensely obvious.

I can take time to make an appearance before any question asked to me. And as a consequence, people assume that I don't pay attention, when the reality is that they haven't given me enough time to process the situation and the ambient.

When I'm exhausted, anxious or sad, I speak slowly, reaching the point of stuttering. I even think slower than usual. Although the latter is usually a unanimous occurrence in all people.

People who have related to me in different contexts have come to think that I'm stupid, when I'm just slow; that I don't want to study, when I'm just slow; that I'm sick, when I'm just slow. And so on.

It irritates me and bothers me that they think so badly of me, because it directly affects and transcends the treatment granted to me.

And yes, I'm slow, but I'm also persevering. And little by little I'm fulfilling my own goals, at my own pace. Regardless of whether it is subject to invalidation or not, only I can assess it.

Does anyone else relate to this?

For me it depends on the task . For example I can answer all of the questions in a 50 question Wonderlic like test in the time allotted.

On the other hand with a digit symbol substitution test I'll do better than 0-1/10 people .

I'm slower than average at routine jobs, partly because I don't think of the next thing to do until I need to know, so I can think more about the big questions. Thinking about the big questions has saved me years of wasted effort.
However, it is not fair to others if I'm on their team and they have to slow down to my pace, so I work alone.

In a diverse world, diverse abilities would seem to have a place. Consider that both the plow horse and race horse are useful. Those who seek uniformity often scoff at those who do not conform, however, they may discover that the uniform world they advocate may come to exclude them as well.

I'm slow.
I can't seem to get any thing done quickly because I space out thinking about things.
My parents used to say I was slow.

I seem to live half in the real world and half in my head.
Even in grammer school some kids called me outer space.
I lack stamina.
I've never had the stamina to work quickly at a steady pace.

I'm slow too, I have been my whole life. I've tested as having a slow processing speed, and it affects all areas of my life. As a kid at school I got extra time for everything, from completing assignments to eating lunch to walking through the halls; everyone saw how slow I was. These days my slowness manifests primarily in my thoughts and speech. I speak in a slow, halting manner, and it can take ten or twenty seconds for me to finish a very simple thought. Sometimes I even find myself stopping in the middle of a word to pause and think, then finishing the tail end of the word as if there weren't just a two-second gap in my speech.

I used to get very anxious and feel rushed by everyone all the time, and I'd feel like I was failing if I didn't keep up. These days I live life at my own pace, and I don't rush around for anybody.

I'm also slow. I do everything in a slow and methodical way.

My brain takes longer to process information than most, which makes me slow at certain things, like reading and responding to questions. It’s really annoying at times. Once I have the muscle memory for a more physical task like tying my shoes I can do that at the same speed as most, though.

I have always been slow. As a child my slowness was often cited as passive aggressive behavior. My wife will often ask me something, then storm off when I do not answer immediately. A manager at work once told me that I was not rhe fastest. I replied true, but I only have to do it once. He agreed.