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jofiquartz
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 30 Jan 2020
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 13

02 Feb 2020, 7:04 pm

Could be any kind of relationship, doesn't have to be romantic eg. collaborator, friends...

What are your creative ways of working with one another's totally specific quirkinesses?


_________________
"I'm sorry. I'm really not being destructive.
I'm just trying to get things straight."

- Meg in 'A Wrinkle in Time,' Madeleine L'Engle

<Currently exploring autism. AS score 152 NT score 75>


jofiquartz
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 30 Jan 2020
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 13

02 Feb 2020, 8:57 pm

Like,

My likely-AS partner can describe to perfection the intricate emotional and sensory experiences which I, due to my likely AS, can only stammer and dream about - or, with great work, eventually write.

Or,

My dear friend and former partner, who is pretty darn neurodivergent though doesn't have AS, figured out how to approach and exit my company slowly and in stages so that I could adjust.

Or,

We've often just been willing to be creative and interesting in our relationship structure!: Friends who were willing to go for ages and then pick up a call for several hours. Lovers who were willing to be long-distance, and take together deep-dives for short bursts and be apart and independent other times...


_________________
"I'm sorry. I'm really not being destructive.
I'm just trying to get things straight."

- Meg in 'A Wrinkle in Time,' Madeleine L'Engle

<Currently exploring autism. AS score 152 NT score 75>


Theamazinggeek
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 23 Dec 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 136
Location: Salinas, california

03 Feb 2020, 1:26 am

Im fortunate to live in the area I live in.
so I have a aspergers group that meets regularly weekly if we can help it. (in recent days we've
been unable to meet as so often. ) They're is 6 of us though mainly 3 of us meet more regularly. we even
have a a female in the group and another member is on different part of the specturm. When we get together
we have all types of fun. Video games, board games, card games, shopping, Drinking at a few local bars,
holiday type parties. Heck we have a monthly poker night.

There is a grand feeling when you connect with people on A-S. there a familiarity, a knowing they've had similar feelings, similar hardships, similar lives or lifestyles. We also have varrying interest, and different Unique ideas. as well as Unique problems. nothing we cant get over when were sitting, waching something, and spliting a pizza bill. Keep in mind its also our differences that bind us all in a great group.

And we also include Some NT friends into the mix regularly. it does help kind of balance things. and have someone to sort out the Unique Problem and unique squables that take a differnt kind of mind to fix.

On occasion we kind of clash, Repel one another. usually when it happens. its multiple factors. Mainly its what were going to do as we each have some different levels of tolerene.


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nick007
Veteran
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,621
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

04 Feb 2020, 1:40 am

I'm an Aspie & my girlfriend is on the spectrum as well. We both have various mental & physical things besides Aspergers thou. What I really love about her is that she was willing to give me a real chance(she even made the 1st move) & she's not bothered by me not having my sh!t together with life. Our realtionship is far from perfect cuz we both have our various issues but we're both loyal to a fault & we both know we'd have a majorly hard time finding anyone else who's willing to give us a real chance so we're both committed to making our relationship work. We also both feel horribly guilty when we have big disagreements or fights. We're also both trying to work on our mental issues. Cass has been seeing a psychiatrist for years now & I recently started seeing one(I saw one a long time ago & the one I recently started seeing is a different one than Cass sees)


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aspieprincess123
Velociraptor
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Joined: 16 Aug 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 460
Location: england

05 Feb 2020, 4:50 pm

Aspie and Aspie relationships have both there postive and negatives.

In my case i'll measure the pros

Pros
Better understanding of each other
We can be direct with each other for example I don't get the romance game it's easier if my partner just says "You want to have sex" and I say yes or no. Same in reverse
We have very similar interests or his or my interests inter-mesh with each other. For example my partners love of photography and drones works well with my love of nature.

Cons
We often struggle to talk to each other sometimes when we have rows it's easier if we write how we feel and share what we wrote.
No ability or limited ability to see non verbal cues for example I somehow missed my partner planning to take his own life and now that I looked back and spoke to his family it makes sense and I feel horrible for not noticing the signs.

We love each other but it can be hard but with patience a aspie aspie relationship can work