Why do others tell me I am wrong about “bad boys”?

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Others tell me that I struggle with confirmation bias when it comes to seeing “bad boys” getting girlfriends while I am always alone but that is just what I keep witnessing time and time again. If I am apparently wrong, why do I still see the “bad boys” emotionally and physically harassing their girlfriends or wives? I was always told things like “Be a gentleman.”, “Women get tired of jerks.”, “God will bring you a woman.”, “God’s still writing your love story.”, “You’re a good looking guy! You should have no trouble getting a girlfriend!”, and other statements that just don’t translate to my life.

I also noticed what your talking about with the bad boys. I haven't been told any of those things you have thou. I just kept getting told to be myself & that I was too desperate. Bing depserate was part of who I was so How could I be myself & not desperate at the same time I was also accused of being a misogynist when i expressed my frustration over how easily the bad boys got women even thou I'm a really a feminist.

Assuming you're not phrasing it in an erroneous way like "only bad boys get girlfriends" or "all girls want bad boys", there are three potential reasons I see.

1) Your lived experience and their lived experience are just different

2) They're in denial about the fact that 'bad boys' don't tend to have much trouble attracting women to them

3) Your definition of 'bad boy' differs from theirs.

One thing I can say for sure is I have known a lot of 'bad boys' (including the sadistic psychopathic bullies from my childhood) and not one of them had trouble attracting and keeping women. I saw men who constantly berated their women and they stuck around where someone like me would be dating, could say one thing, have it taken completely out of context and be treated like I had leprosy. I think in a lot of ways it shows how messed up many of these women are to chase after abusive people.
It is also my observation that most of the 'normal' women usually find a stable partner by a young age. I just got extremely lucky finding my wife. I can also relate to being called misogynistic but pointing out the 'bad boy' phenomena even though I am married to an outspoken feminist.

Mark,

In many discussions, people have two states: The what I call "real mode" which is based on instinct, fantasy, desires and realism and there's the "idealist mode" , it's a mode that is deprived of fantasy , the super-ego.

In 90% of the cases, especially when it comes to love discussions, the advice are given while they're in the latter state hence why they're meaningless.

I base all the advice I give on "realism," not "fantasy."

Because some guys define any male who is more successful than them as a "bad boy" despite whether or not it's objectively true.

I am still distraught over not getting the TMS, especially since I waited for a month to get it only to be told that it wasn’t going to happen. I hoped maybe it was going to make this year better than the last one but nothing ever changes for me.

Maybe it's just me, Brother Mark, but the "bad boy" type of male is just a gender stereotype,
nothing more and nothing less and will always remain in the same position forever.

Hello, there

This comes down to prespectives, your opinions vs others, right vs wrong, so long as you are not preaching it in public and coming out as insenstive, thinking about speaking your mind is quite difficult and even more so, with the left and right side of politically correct, the justice seekers, the offenders and politically incorrect, the chaos, the common sense.

And so long as it is within your personal friends you trust so much and give your life to, metaphorically speaking, not literal unless it is the case.

The whole bad boys gets the girls, the sterotypical jocks gets the girl, the so called prince gets the damsel, there are complications involving one's environment in my opinion and from experience involving two girls from my days at high school.

The girl I have crushed on until I left, she was living in council housing, with parents allowing her to roam without a tight lease, she can come and go whenever she wants, this is coming out as sterotypical profiling but honestly I only met couple who are decent and honest lads just in a rubbish situation.

In the UK, these are Chavs and not ones to trifle with, she hang around guys and girls, often older and she allowed to be used for the sake of popularity because as every movie and TV has clearly indicated. Nobody wants a unique and independant person.

She was part of sheep crowd, do anything for attention and allow negativity cloud her mind, she was in denial of her condition, sleep around every guy, she met and let herself becoming what she might blame on others of bahaviour.

I could not see past it and I wanted to be with her, regardless, because the change mentality she'll see the light and be free nonsense.

Thank god I did not though but the short is, there girls like her as I mention, then they are ones with shock mentality, in denial and stuck with the change mentality, seeing the good only, real or otherwise and then they are ones forced into it because of religion but that's whole other can of worms we must discuss.

If it bothers, do not let it, get distracted with something, they are ones stuck and you can make an effort to try help them to see the light or error of judgement. As lame as it must sound but if you really worried, just try breathing, excerise or watch some TV. If your friend is in trouble, talk to them and show them helplines.

It is your choice, mate, I am in spiral with some things and at the moment I am so, because of Math problem.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H9jTQKmR3Q

Check out the video and also its guys as well

Kind regards
Tigerstripe

P.S I hope it is not insenstive or anything, talking to you as if we are in a pub or the camp fire from stand by me movie discussing mysteries of life. And in the words of Homer Simpsons, it's my first day, quack quack quack

Double P.S I tend to joke too much to lighten the mood....

If I give advice, it's from personal experience. This is either from situations I've been in or situations others I know or knew have been in.

If I see a thread where someone is asking for advice and I don't have any experience with the situation, I lurk and don't post. I do a lot of lurking here.


There are women out there who like nice guys. Those who don't have been led astray by following the crowd or just don't care until they end up in a string of abusive relationships and decide to end the cycle.

Sure, there are women who are attracted to "bad boys"--just as there are men who are attracted to "bad girls". These people are guaranteed trouble. Stay away.

Many girls love bad boys my niece is an example. My niece became a nurse before the age of 24 and bought a house before the age of 24 and she loves bad guys her current boy friend talks to other girls behind her back will hit her when she confronts him about it she will kick him out a while and then take him back If a good guy likes her she will will nitpick him to death and find every reason not to date him. The only girl I found that was not like that is the drop dead beautiful aspie girl I married. Like I said you guys can have the NT girls

My Aspie girl is the way a women should be can't stand bad boys has a heart of gold. Loyal to a fault and she is proud of me when I act like a good guy and help people. If you ask me many NT girls are the one messed up in the head.

I’m a “good guy.” I’m pretty nerdy. I’m socially clumsy.

Yet....I’ve had a few pretty saucy women....

I see many women on the train nuzzle up to some pretty nerdy sorts of guys. I saw a woman yesterday make out with a guy with very prominent pockmarks.