I DON’T Want Live Anymore!

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Everything is tooo much, I feel like crying. I don’t know why people are obsessing with buying toilet paper, they won’t leave anything for other people, it’s soap & food too. And no groceries delivering. And I have ALOT of pain in my body. Now I’m crying. I feel like I don’t fit in in my town, there are parents with Autism children,but I’m adult, alot of time these days, I’m a child trapped in an adult body. I have NOBODY here, I have nobody to talk to, I have online friends,but they are NT. My cat keeps meowing, I screamed at her & she knocked over her can food from the kitchen counter, I screamed at her again. I want my mommy!

Well your cat is probably concerned, I mean you've screamed at her and she still hasn't left. May sound silly but maybe try talking to your cat...I know they can't talk back but if its the only other living thing around you right now might provide some solace.

I mean IDK maybe try to see some humor in what the cat does, cats are weird but they can still kinda tell when something is up so they may act out. I mean that cat doesn't have anyone aside from you...so you may not have people right now, but the cat still needs you.

I would say maybe try and pay attention to the cat, maybe play with her and it might make you feel a little better.

I'm sorry .

a hugg for kitty................ your cat might be worried for you even trying to distract you...idk

I am sorry that you are feeling like this!! ! This sounds very overwhelming, similar to how I felt while living in my dorms-- constantly calling my Mommy until she got really sick again due to an allergic reaction to medicine and then I did not want to call her and stress her out with my freakouts/ meltdowns... My dorm was a mess and I slept underneath the bed in a nest I made for myself because I do not like sleeping in beds-- especially small twin beds as I can feel that I am hovering above the ground and I toss around alot while I am sleeping and am likely to fall off-- and I just felt like I could not do anything-- like basic things like picking up the things on the ground and putting them where they need to go or going to go get food for myself... Everything was too difficult...

I am really glad that I am not living independently right now during this crisis... I am sorry that you are living in a town where you do not no anyone. That sounds terrifying. If you would like, you could message me-- I do not promise that I will consistently message you back as I am really terrible at messaging people back (I might message them obsessively for a few hours and then not talk to them at all for two weeks...)... I also do not think your cat is mad at you... I yelled at my Dad's dog the other day because the dog's panting in my ear and climbing on me, due to the dog's seperation anxiety from my dad, was causing sensory overload and I felt so so so terrible as I very very rarely ever yell at animals, so I gave Cameron a squeezing hug as this is what calms me down sometimes and I just layed their hunched over him, squeezing his little body in a comforting way, both of us in a ball, and then he did not seem mad at me anymore...

I am not sure if I am making sense... but I understand the feeling of being a girl-child in an adult woman's body... I am very child-like and have a child-like voice and love wearing pretty, comfy things and watching Disney movies and talking about axolotls... I have a very child-like personality... I am not sure if I am helping or if I am talking about myself too much... Sometimes it helps to know that you are not fully alone in your experience...

Kitty sweety, do you have a care worker you can call to help you get the products you need, help you get organised? Is there an emergency service from the local municipality that can help you? Can anyone on WP find out what services are available in California and help Kitty?

Kitty where do you live honey, which town and neighborhood?
Think of what calms you down the most, do you have a favourite stuffed animal? Do you like tea? Do what calms you down the most and reaaally makes you feel good sweety, and do it now. Breathe really slowly and pay attention to your breathing, in........... hold it a few seconds......... .out. in...............hold............out. Think of someone you can call when you feel calmer sweety.

Oh, Kitty
I’m so sorry for your situation (((hugs)))
I have no idea if it’s possible for me to do anything practical from this distance across the ocean.
Are your painkillers prescription?
I haven’t much money but I’m willing to try to order you a delivery from here of either them or a few basic supplies if the internet will let me...
No guarantee it would work though
I can’t think what else to say...

Edit: I’ve got through to Walmart California open on my phone browser, they’re still saying their deliveries are running.
Unfortunately I haven’t banked this weeks pay yet, and don’t have enough in the account for their minimum order value.
If nothing else has turned up by Monday 4pm UK time (that’s 9am in CA) I can see if I make it work.

When you mention being unable to get supplies like food, are you talking about an availability issue? Have you tried calling 211 for ideas?

Hi Kitty.

How are you now?

I don't for sure if this will work,but try calling a legal aid attorney,tell them you are disabled and need help.

They might be able to help

Ask your sister for help. Or any relative.

I know you can’t stand her. But she would probably be the best person who can offer you immediate help.

I don’t know your past history with your sister, but I think Kraftie’s right: her and your other relatives will probably be best placed to help you.

I really hope you can get help soon

Amazon for food and basic pain meds.

Do you have a debit card, Kitty?

Hugs, Kitty!