Assuming I'm On The Spectrum, What Is It Like To Be An NT?

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Naturally, since joining this site to ask questions and knowing nothing, but going on a vague hunch of an idea that I just had to check up on (Long story!), last night I asked someone who knows a lot about autism "What traits have you noticed in me?"
I expected her to mention two or three and I could probably think of about four or five traits, but her answer surprized me. One at a time she added more to the list and I started writing them down... Before I knew it I had over 30, and only one or two I am not too sure about. All the rest I can agree with.

But anyway... My thoughts now are that if I am on the autism spectrum, then what exactly is an NT? No, I don't mean that I don't know what NT means. It is more that I just can't get my mind to think what it would be like to be an NT?
Well. I always knew I was different, though I resoned that this was due to my upbringing and way of life etc., so I assumed that other peoples minds worked like mine but they somehow just seemed to live lives where they could easily make friends and "Gel" with each other somehow... I found that I would only seem to make friends with people who were "Different" or "Odd" themselves (And I would not have it any other way as every friend I have I really value (I don't have many)).


But what is it like being popular? How do they do it?

I have spent years and years observing people in order to copy them hoping I would "Fit in" and somehow I don't. I could copy a popular person word for word and they would end up with lots of friends, and I would have "Get lost you *@^÷&#$* " or words to that effect. (Though to be honest I don't want to befriend someone who replies like that, but you get the idea).

So how do they do it? Become popular?

The strange thing is that if I overcome nurves, I could stand up on stage and entertain many, but somehow have no personal connection other then a sense of humour and my jokes! If I then leave that stage I will want to dissapear where no one can find me just to recover! Though I would appreciate everyones support and love, I would need that recovery time which could last days!

But anyway. It is strange. Could I be an NT where I should be asking "What is it like to be autistic?" Or am I autistic and asking "What is it like to be an NT?"
Or am I somewhere in the middle where I don't know what I'm actually on about? Who knows!
But anyone relate to this and can fathom things out? Haha! Tough question!

NT is a very old version of Windows

I've been asking myself the same question. I never thought of myself as different, just "normal" with a problem that would eventually go away. That's why getting a diagnosis was so important, as I discovered I have lots of features that autistic people have, but they could also be features of being NT or maybe of some other condition. There seem to be so many features that NTs can experience sometimes, but being autistic means they're experienced most, or all, of the time. Now I've got a diagnosis, I can be pretty certain that if I have a characteristic that can be a feature of autism, it's because I'm autistic.

But that raises the big question, that as I'd always thought I was "normal", which implies everything I did was what everyone else did, but now I know I'm not, how are NTs different to me? I really don't have any idea what the answer is. I just know that if everyone was like me, the world would be a very different place.

There are many NTs who are not popular. Trust me.

I spent most of my late teens and twenties perfecting the art of mimicry in order to try and fit in. I managed to develop these skills to the extent that I have been able to mask reasonably well all of my adult life.

However it has brought me no nearer to really understanding the NT mind. I simply perform a series of often strange, irrational and mysterious rituals when needed - as tiring as it is. On an intellectual level I am aware of what drives NT behaviour but what it feels like I really dont know.

Mrs V is NT as are all but two of my family and most of their thinking remains a complete mystery to me. I don't really worry about it and just accept it. I love them all regardless.

So in summary, I have no idea!

Yesterday I was watching the news, and afterwards my wife asked me if I'd noticed the look that the President gave one of his aides when a reporter asked a pointed question, and then she laughed and said that reporter won't be allowed back. I never saw the look at all. Probably wouldn't have known what it meant if I had.

So I imagine part of being NT would be like getting this constant stream of information just from looking at people. and using it to guess what they'll do.

Sometimes she'll watch a movie with a lot of interaction between characters and then later excitedly tell me about all the nuances and what everyone thought and felt - and she is so fascinated by the complexity of the relationships. The same movie usually just bores me to tears. She sees the world of people on a whole different level.

Like stated above, they read people easily and are confident about their interpretations. I can’t read people easily and when I do I usually make it very complex. For me social interactions are sensory overload, especially in a classroom where people speak out of nowhere to each other and have dialogs, I could never tune with that, I feel like If I spoke I’d either shout too much or say stupid things. One time I replied to a guy who called me out on something random and what I said was kinda mean and odd but he was a good guy and he joked about it. Other people started laughing but I knew it felt awkward to them and inappropriate cause I cussed and we were in 6th grade inside a classroom (I wonder how the teacher tolerated that). They have skills that we don’t, we have skills that they don’t. They can guess what someone’s actions will be, their words, their reaction, when they do something odd they use self loathing sarcasm a lot to try to let people know that they know that they were inappropriate.

In December I was prescribed a weeks course of high strength steroid tablets by my GP.
I spent the whole week rushing around at very high speed with my thoughts a chaotic mess of fragments colliding into each other, and achieved pretty much nothing despite all the frenetic activity.
When I described this to my wife she said: ”well now you’ve got a little window into what it feels like to be neurotypical”

Not sure if that anecdote answers the question, but it’s what I’ve got!

Being NT is being able to click with other NTs you want to click with. An Aspie could be friendly, tactful, outgoing, interested in gender norms, even socially skilled in some ways, but still cannot click with an NT of the same age group.
I'm not saying that happens to every Aspie every time they meet an NT, but that probably sounds familiar to a lot of Aspies.

NTs just have that social know-how that is so complex it cannot directly be explained or described.

Not just socially but how most of them seem to know how to organize their thoughts and prioritize when they want... ..executive functioning...that is really enviable...transitions and not being as thrown off..whereas I just want to stay in my head...

The difference between me and them in that has always been noticeable...

Frankly I don't even know if I'm NT. If you define it as being the neurological norm, then no- I'm probably not neurotypical purely down to my learning differences. To complicate matters; add in a strange childhood, brief selective mutism, vivid visual recall and heightened senses. If you consider it a term that only differentiates autistic from not being autistic, well...I consider myself to be sort of in the BAP range of things.

I've been told that plenty of neurotypicals have learning differences and that I'll never truly understand what it's like to be neurodiverse. Perhaps this is true, but do I really understand what it's like to be neurotypical either? I guess that's the closest to what I am, yet I don't feel as though I completely fit into that category.

Neurotypical doesn't just mean everyone not on the autism spectrum.

For almost 6 years I was the creator and the coordinator for AutHaven.[ I stepped down and my replacements have not continued] It was a yearly 5 day retreat for and by Autistic people that was affordable for ALL. The closest I came to advertising was talking about it on this forum.

From the first year we always had about 40 or 50 people from all over the world, and a crazy long waiting list. Some of our attendees were well known Autistic activists, but we always had a fairly large percentage who had limited exposure to other Autistic people.
Most of that group later admitted that they had been terrified to attend because of their "social skills" and were delighted to find out that their skills were just fine! It seemed as if our social skills were innate, but that we are wired for socializing easily with others with similar neurologies.

You asked what it feels like to be popular. I would guess that if you were to ask the people who attended AutHaven if they were "popular" while there at least 95% of them would say they were incredibly popular there and that it felt awesome. We even stopped referring to it as a retreat but as a family reunion.

It feels so good to feel accepted. It feels so good to have an idea, verbalize it, and not be ignored. It feels so good to be sharing things that are meaningful to you, and have those you are speaking with excited, not because they are interested in the "thing" but because they are excited for your passion.

I wish AUtHaven was still going on. I miss it, and I know others do too. It was awesome to be accepted, appreciated and "popular."

WrongPlanet is the absolute worst place to ask this question.