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Smitty101
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28 Mar 2020, 8:05 pm

Is extreme sensitivity to criticism common among us? I am over sensitive to criticism, and avoid people quite a bit to avoid the possibility of criticism.



CubsBullsBears
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28 Mar 2020, 8:19 pm

Yes, I am very sensitive. There have been many times where someone would do it in a way that at least comes off as harsh and that would be followed by tears running down my face for a bit. It has sometimes driven me to suicidal thoughts in those moments and one time I cut myself. I would feel like a very pathetic person.


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28 Mar 2020, 8:40 pm

If taking criticism or dealing with emotions is like lifting weights, then the common scenario would be this:

Imagine a scrawny newbie with weakened muscle condition is forced to go the gym because 'authority said so', and is constantly forced to lift weights appropriate for *normal able-bodied* starters but not for someone with his condition.
A person with the condition perceives the weights at least 5 to 10 times heavier -- yet had no right to complain or say a thing because it's 'inappropriate'. So, one would likely find a way to avoid lifting said weights.

Some will improve and have their muscles grow -- that is, if they're lucky or if the figured how. And yet some would either have little to no improvement for a very long time, if not getting worse with strain and trauma overtime and becoming injured instead.

Of course people would be baffled -- years of 'experience' yet aren't still 'used to it', and not all people have the patience to even bother 'why' or maybe find ways around other than the usual regime.
Think the presumptions of laziness, immaturity, or worse that comes with it. :roll: Along with it's harmful consequences.



Except ways of emotion, thought and several subtle sensations isn't exactly as tangible and easily adjustable as physical objects.


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28 Mar 2020, 9:46 pm

I was sensitive to criticism and never tried anything new unless I was sure I could do it - in case someone pointed it out or laughed at me. As I got older it mattered less and less. I tend to avoid critical people, but I don't care as much anymore, just shrug things off. I still mull things over so hopefully I don't repeat mistakes.



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28 Mar 2020, 11:35 pm

I think if I had enough money for life, criticism would not matter to me much. In places that do not contribute to my fiances I don't care nearly as much about criticism as places that do (which can be extreme). I tend to get bored/slightly annoyed when people that have nothing I want criticize me.



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29 Mar 2020, 4:02 am

I used to be extremely sensitive to criticism. Looking back at my family, my mother and grandmother were also, it might be culturally inherited.

I learned to deal better with criticism with time and observation. I've noticed people who fight every bit of criticism ultimately make fools of themselves. Those people whom I find classy, listen to criticism calmly and then decide weather to ignore it or to apply it to correct themselves.
I wanted to be classy in this aspect, so I trained it until I was able to handle criticism that way.
It still stings me to be criticised, though.


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29 Mar 2020, 8:31 am

I am also oversensitive to criticism. I have quit sites in the past due to this. I also have avoided people with sudden tempers because I do not notice signs of a temper build up in them so it is very explosive and sudden. Most people are not like that though in that I may anoy them without realizing it, and they will be ok about it.

It is also that to me a criticism can be the same as someone trying to kill me. I mean... Ok. Most of the time I am ok with criticism, but sometimes if it seems harsh, I can missread and it appears 10 or 100 times worse then it is.



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29 Mar 2020, 9:45 am

I used to be very sensitive to criticism, but I had a gift from my father...he was so irrationally critical of me that I could see how stupid it was. I told him this and he would lose his top and beat me. But I wouldn't shut up.

Now I respond, I hope, with more grace. Listen and consider criticism and change if necessary or possible. Otherwise, gracefully decline. Well, I am not generally graceful about it. I'm more like: What did you say?! ! You want me to do WHAT? This is mostly said to the people who run the disability program who are trying to cut or deny services.

They can also get really creepy about making mistakes in my paperwork. So I keep a tally of the mistakes THEY have made and give that right back to them.

I now do the above with more grace. Regardless of who made the error, I say, "It is important to remember we all fallible human beings and need to work together to get the client what s/he needs." This actually works pretty well and I have been using it for the last, say, 10 years.


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livingwithautism
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29 Mar 2020, 7:30 pm

I’m not sensitive to criticism but I do get annoyed by praise, especially when it is unwarranted.



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29 Mar 2020, 8:03 pm

livingwithautism wrote:
I’m not sensitive to criticism but I do get annoyed by praise, especially when it is unwarranted.


I hate praise too. I just want to say: who asked you? Often if someone praises me I praise myself even more than the praise I received in order to make the other person uncomfortable. That usually prevents them from doing it again :)



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29 Mar 2020, 8:11 pm

I feel awkward. I have jepardized attempts for people to send their praize of me to my past employers as I did not want to go through being singled out for an award.
I don't feel worthy somehow. I am likely to point out the good deeds that others have done so they can reward them instead!



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29 Mar 2020, 8:45 pm

I hated praise too. Not because of the praise but how uncomfortable it felt when any attention was drawn to me. Took most of my life even to respond to a compliment properly.



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30 Mar 2020, 2:12 am

It depends on the context. I crave some criticism and find it interesting or useful. But some criticism is just too unbearable for me and can leave me feeling angry or humiliated.


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30 Mar 2020, 2:46 am

For me, my sensitivity to criticism stemmed from unresolved trauma.

In the past criticism I received was accompanied by a physical reinforcement follow up to ensure I altered my ways. For years I was hijacked by intense fear whenever I recieved criticism, took me a long time to understand how deeply engrained it was.

Still happens sometimes, but I'm able to recognise it and call it out, 'that was then and this is now, things have changed'.



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30 Mar 2020, 3:19 am

For me it depends. If it's criticism that I can agree with, I have no problem with it. If it's totally unwarranted, I get upset and defensive. I wish I could just ignore it then and forget about it but I get really self-conscious about it and lose confidence really easily.

It's the same for praise. If I feel it's deserved, it makes me feel good and I feel proud then. If I feel it's undeserved I feel patronized and not taken seriously, which then makes me angry.

Having said that I'm not at all sure that I can always correctly discern if criticism or praise is deserved or not.

I also feel that I'm really bad at seeing people's real motives. Sometimes criticism is just because someone doesn't like you and wants to be nasty to you and is not at all sincere. And sometimes they criticise you because they want to coax you into giving them a compliment for how well they look out for you and thank them because they helped you learn.

The same goes for praise. Sometimes people only praise you because they want to show you that they like you or sympathize with you. However, if you don't react the way they expect you too, that sympathy is gone immediately. Some people expect you to be happy about the praise and thank them and thus acknowledge that you understood they are being nice and others want you to give them praise or a compliment in return. Others want you to act humble and say things like, "No, I really was bad at that. You're just being nice." and sometimes expect you to put up a "humble fight" against their praise. If you don't get it right, they will write you off as an arrogant jerk and never talk to you again.

I hate these social games because with those I feel I can only lose.



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30 Mar 2020, 1:30 pm

I am more sensitive to criticism and compliments than I want to be

Criticism and compliments are judgmental

Please do not take it personally

You can't measure sensitivity