Your autistic traits.

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Ever since my doctor told me I'm not autistic I've been trying to find out why certain traits in autistic people arise.
For example, my doctor told me I didn't speak a lot because I was shy (and that is true, i was shy) but that autistic people can't
even take in the people around them so they seem disinterested.

Being autistic means that you have met the DSM criteria: social communication/interaction "deficits" and also repetitive/restrictive behaviors. Being autistic, IMHO, does not necessarily mean that one is either introverted or extroverted, or either shy or outgoing, or does or does not have anxiety. Anxiety disorders are common among autistics, but they are not part of what makes one autistic. My understanding is that anxiety disorders or the characteristic of being withdrawn or shy can (but does not necessarily) arise out of treatment autistics have had in social interactions in their lives (being bullied, loss of friendship for no known reason, saying inappropriate things and being corrected for it). It is also not necessarily true that an autistic person will be uninterested in other people.

I have heard of autistics who are interested in others appearing uninterested to NTs because of the difficulty with eye contact, specifically looking away when talking with someone. To NTs, if someone is looking away from them while talking to them, they assume the autistic person is not interested in what they are saying. And, of course, there are autistic people that are less responsive and interested in other people.

[disclaimer: my only expertise in autism is my own experience]

edited to add: I didn't think to mention my own shyness/social anxiety until I saw that's how other people here are posting. I tend to be pretty quiet in groups. I find that a lot of the times when I chime in to a conversation, what I say doesn't really get picked up by the group (one-on-one conversation is different, of course). Second is that I also don't have much of a filter when I do talk, which has led to many, many moments of me regretting things I've said. I've noticed that at professional conferences I've been intentionally passed over multiple times when I've had my hand raised with a question, because (I would guess) I don't think I pick up on the social conventions of question-asking well. I don't know how to apply a filter except to pretty much not talk at all.

Navigating work politics is also a problem, so I remain silent when I can. I would guess this could come off as being aloof or uninterested. I remember a mentor of mine asking "can't you just play the [politics] game for a while?" and I thought to myself "game? what game? there's a some kind of political game going on at work? What are the rules? What happens if I win or lose?" So, I pretty much keep to myself at work.

I have two close friends, and I don't have much a problem chatting with them, but we're always chatting about common interests, which is how I met them to begin with, so I guess that's not surprising. No small talk there, really.

I was always told I was shy but I don't think I'm shy at all. It just takes a while for me to get comfortable around new people. I've never had a problem talking once I get to know someone, and I can talk no problem around other people like me - once I get up the courage to introduce myself.

I'm not sure if I am shy or not. When I was at school I had social anxiety in the classroom and often had silent panic attacks when being forced to speak in front of the class. I often avoided drama classes because of this, and I got all worked up about the nativity play we all had to take part in each Christmas.
But when I was out in the playground I was rather loud and enjoyed playing imaginative games with other children.
About 3 times a week I went to the special ed room to have extra maths sessions with other children who had learning difficulties, and because the group was small I was the loudest one in the group and was often scolded by the teacher. Then as soon as I returned to my normal class I went back into shy mode again and was even afraid to raise my hand in class.

It's pointless to point out my own autistic traits and my own circumstances, when I don't generally relate to autistics with the same traits and similar circumstance.
Most especially in cases, like mine, that fluctuates across timespan, across contexts, across states... We don't always react the same way, despite commonalities even with the same means.


Autism is simply multidimensional.
If one wants some enumeration of 'traits' closer to what it is deem as autistic traits, then traits are usually linked to sensory processing, executive function, aptitude and developmental profiles. Some forms of agnosias and/or learning disabilities may or may not result of such factors.
Personality disorders, mental health issues, certain health issues and common circumstances are not entirely inherent to autism itself, but something inherent to autism itself makes one vulnerable or prone to such issues.

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no sensory issues, well some but not too bad it's with ageing you get more intolerant to some

some things is hard to know if its nurture or nature, i was talkative at home but the social environment told that i must avoid getting noticed at all costs

terribly selfconscious and awkward^^is that after that or independend of it

every physical ed turned me into a crying mess

coordinated movements (with others) is impossible

nothing diagnosable

and i was always told i was too thin and/or to eat more, suddenly that turned into the nuremberg trials for me 'being on drugs' at a certain age

then after i was thrown away i got there eventually, and living some years in squats and squallor with ze boys