Be touched

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everybody!
A few weeks ago my bestfriend asked me why i didn't want to be touched by anyone.I hadn't noticed it before but it is true!!
I think it is really annoying and i don't understand why we have to touch people.
So, does it bother you?why?

Sorry for my english!

Among all the qualities of aspergers and autism which I am 100% like, the 2 qualities i don't have are contact preference, and orderliness.

My room is like a rats nest - i don't lose anything, i remember where everything is. I could name the locations of objects in my room without looking. And the mess moves in predictable ways, like the gulf stream. So my mess is orderly in its own way, but it wouldn't look that way to anyone else.

As for contact, i love contact, i want to cuddle more than anything else in my life. My ideal existance would be to work at home, and cuddle with my partner the entire time, have a seat capable of supporting 2 people, while we play online games together. Eat while cuddling. In a big soft blankey. And if ever i must leave my partner i must have my big soft blankey. And a kitty. My kitty likes to cuddle as opposed to most kitties.

What I really hate is unaticipated contact. If you hug me from behind or grab my arm without warning, it's like someone grabbing your privates in a public suituation for me. Very uncomfortable. I can hug people outside of my intermediate family, but am not very comfortable with it. But I don't mind hugging my intermediate family and enjoy that. Its more of a personal space issue/closseness thing for me.

Yeah light unanticipated touch makes me feel uncomfortable, it's a tactile sensory defensiveness. Orderliness I have my own form of chaotic order that if disturbed, overstimulates me and I get upset.

It doesn't matter to me whether people physically touch me, but I like it very, very much when people emotionally touch me. However, a situation occurred with me not too long ago. Someone who apparently did emotionally touch me told me that it was great getting to know her while we kept in touch. I said something that I think may have offended her, so I don't think we're on speaking terms right now. Not knowing how to interact is a fairly common problem for people with AS.

However, when other people touch me, I never forget the feeling.

Ghosthunter:

I have AS, without question. I doubt that touch has anything to do with AS as well.

Unexpected touch is horrible particularly light touch - like being crawled on. Back/shoulder slappers irritate the s**t out of me, I have to restrain myself from clouting them (though they don't usually do it twice )

I love cuddles though, if I actually want one - I like the pressure and comfort. I'm very tactile and love touching other people as well.

<--- Thinks of other people touching him
<--- Shudders at the thought

Mom said that even as an infant, if she or someone else tried to pick me up, I would scream and resist. People other than my parents would be suprised by this, they had never seen this before in a baby. No one though in 1979 knew about tactile defensiveness.

One thankgiving when I was little, most likely '81, an uncle picked me up and spun me around over his head. I was so tramatized by the experience that I couldn't even scream.

Just the other week, a customer a work put his hand around my shoulder, I wanted to run away screaming.

I think that all of us could use the services of temple grandin's squeeze box.

If certain people touch me, it doesn't bother me. I have one friend and every time we see each other, we greet one another by exchanging a hug (the ones kind of like you see the gymnasts do when they don't even look at each other). I also have another friend that I always sneak up behind her and pounce on her shoulders at school. Needless to say, she's gotten used to it and sometimes does it to me (but usually I can hear her coming).

I hate it when people bump me or accidently touch my shoulder or something. (Or my feet in swim practice, but that's fairly common.)