I am completely stuck in a rut.

Post Reply New Topic

I am turning 32 this year and things still haven’t changed for me in regards to getting a girlfriend. I feel even more stuck in a rut than ever before since the quarantine was put in place and the harsh facts about my life have been magnified.

The quarantine has not only locked out any chance to date but also any potential avenue to work towards becoming more attractive to the opposite sex. I can’t join any social clubs or events due to social distancing, the gym I have a membership with chose not to reopen even though gyms can reopen in my state now, I couldn’t get the college course of my choice (I probably wouldn’t be able to interact socially on campus due to social distancing), and I can’t go to Austin anytime soon.

My siblings and their families have been coming over a lot more lately since one of them moved back to the area and it further reminds me of what they have I don’t. It makes me wish I didn’t have the financial and psychological barriers that keep me from moving out of my mother’s home. We have the same upbringings but why was I denied the same victories they achieved? Will it always be this way?

I inquired about getting TMS again but it’s way above my pay grade and even if my parents agree to split the costs, will it truly help me? If medicine and therapy haven’t, why would this be any different?

For whatever it's worth, the only rational course or action, or inaction, for everyone right now, is patience. I mean germaphobia is priceless for now. No one who wants to date each other wants to get the other sick anyway.

For that matter, pharmaceuticals & therapy are very different from the bioelectric fields in our bodies. What I do know is that any effects of TMS most likely would be different from your prior experience.

I'm right there with you anyway dude.

If it can help me, I want it to make it where my mind can focus on the present.

I know single NTs who are feeling the same about the quarantine: their dating life is frozen until further notice.

It really feels like the final blow.

To be clear, everyone wants each other to be in better health lately, in any ways possible. I'm not one to know what to do about that, I'm just a party animal computer nut.

I find this to be a kind of meditation practice. You literally have to take breaks from every single way in which you frame your existence, think about some people you're grateful to know for whatever reason & go from there. Your mind is allowed to focus on anything, you just have to let it.

Honestly I'm just as much or even more scared than Marknis about all this. I like working from a laptop but that doesn't mean I always have the energy & having a solid job has become a coping mechanism to avoid human contact I fear myself being unprepared for. I ACTUALLY LOVE PEOPLE. That doesn't stop me from being rubbish at showing it & setting our lives in perspective.

Even before the quarantine, dating felt like a club in which my invitation to got lost in the mail.

Is there any sort of working out you can do where you live? Even if it is running around the block a few times and doing push-ups at home or other free weights you may happen to have?

I have actually been getting back in shape since the lockdown started. Since there isn't much else to do, and since TV completely sucks now, I get Youtube on the phone, bring up a Pink Floyd album or 2 on it, and walk around the neighborhood for 60 to 75 minutes every evening, sometimes even a little more. Luckily I do live in a place where it is reasonably safe to walk around outside.

As I know you're intelligent enough to realise, it's a different kettle of fish for people who have been perpetually unable to get a partner even before quarantine, because there's not much reason to believe that things will change after quarantine.

Waiting quarantine out without a partner is going to be a lot easier for those who have reason to believe that they'll be able to get a partner after quarantine than those of us who've never/barely been able to get a partner at all.

dude....same.


same!!

I suppose I could do those things but I find it hard to get up these days unless there is something I absolutely can’t avoid.

Yes, but I am sure it still fees like the final blow to those who are struggling before the pandemic; like even if those did feel a 1% hope, now it’s 0%.

Btw I don’t have any dating prospects for the time being.

And the worst of all? We don’t know the timeframe of all this madness; it doesn’t seem it will end anytime soon.

I am surprised my detractors aren’t posting in here. They usually don’t miss a beat in jumping at the chance to belittle me.

I sometimes feel like killing myself since there is no end in sight to the quarantine.

Well I'm fortunate enough that my country is handling coronavirus really well. So much so that we never even needed to implement a full lockdown and we've already started to slowly ease the restrictions that were implemented.

Of the total 1058 confirmed cases we've had in my state, only 6 are currently active, so unless we get a "second wave", we're well on our way to going back to normal.