I think I found my label

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Ever since my first son was diagnosed with autism I've been trying to figure out where all this comes from and if I'm on the spectrum myself. I've done all tests I could found and they all point to me being either on it or pretty damn close.

So my focus was always Asperger. I always felt there were so many things that I could relate to, but at the same time there were several things that just weren't me at all. Asperger, you should have great ability to see details. That's just the complete opposite to me. I skip every little detail and rather read a magazine starting from the end - and books are too long for me to keep focus.

I constantly misplace things and have no idea where I've put them. Therefor I prefer to have things in order, which is of course an Asperger thing. However, I'm the one causing the disorder.

I have a really intense interest in music and I learned how to play instruments on my own. Couldn't do it at all when I took classes for it. No patience what-so-ever. So there's the special interest... Thing is I'm always interested in something but it usually wears off if it becomes too difficult or I need to put too much effort into it. Only super intense interests are devoted enough time - but I never go into details. So here I am able to play instruments but cannot read musical notations.

Melt downs. The kind of melt downs I see asperger kids have are nothing out of the ordinary to me. I think they're just being a bit upset. I would destroy my room completely once my blood started boiling.

So the label I've found for myself, and the one I'm going to get tested for, is ADHD. I just tick every single box for that diagnose. I've also learned ADHD and autism have a lot of overlapping symptoms.

I've already been sent to a psychiatrist through work, to get help for my depression and stressful life situation. Thinking back on that meeting I've come to understand the psychiatrist was looking into this possibility with the kind of questions she was asking. Tomorrow will be the second meeting and I'm going to suggest doing an ADHD-test/evaluation.

I'd like to know if I have this diagnose just to learn more about myself and how I can handle some of the issues I've got. The most problematic thing for me is the inattentiveness and also a some anger management. What i've found is that anger has become less of a problem as I've gotten older and the inattention worse. I will come back with more updates on this later on.

Any other parent out there with a clinical diagnosis of ADHD? I'm guessing your kids are on the spectrum then?

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I love this thread. Such a complete list. I will answer these statements as if they were questions.

ADHD
More general minded - may get hung up on details, but generally more focused on the big picture
- Yes. I only get hung up on stupid details no one cares about.

May enjoy multitasking. Some will find it overwhelming while others may excel at it
- I always try to multitask but will most likely fail or get stressed up.

Have difficulty with schedules and routines
- Can't follow a schedule because I always wait until the last minute with things. Right now I should be doing my computer course rather than writing this.

Generally poor at planning and time management, prone to procrastination
- Good at estimating time. Awful at making the most of it.

Good at improvisation and doing tasks "on the fly". Scripts will likely be ignored.
- Not sure I understand the question. I'm ok with improvisation.

Can pick up social cues, but may miss them due to not paying attention
- Usually the last one in the room to understand something but I can definitely pick up social cues. I sometimes wonder if I left a conversation without really ending it if someone else interrupts me when I'm talking to someone.

Can understand tone of voice
- Yes

Can recognize facial expressions
-Yes

Can understand most body language
-Yes

May ramble, seemingly with no purpose
-Yes, this is what I do best, just like my dad

Aware of emotions, but may find them difficult to regulate or manage
- 100%. Get angry really quickly. Get hurt or insecure very easily.

Impulsive- possibly a compulsive buyer
- Not really.

Impatient- may finish sentences for other people, have trouble waiting in line, etc
- Absolutely. I always get angry with people when I'm in a line or just have a car infront of me.

Disorganized, may lose things on a regular basis
- My biggest ADHD trait.

May be chronically late, unable to show up on time
- I'm ok with estimating time so I usually show up exactly on time. Never too early though. My brother is the chronically late one.

Language processing generally OK, but may have difficulty with word retrieval, organizing thoughts into coherent sentences, etc
- Awful with verbal instructions. Need to hear things over and over again.

May have difficulty staying on topic, easily distracted
- Always need to jump from one subject to another. I'm aware of this today after getting it pointed out for me. I also apologize during a conversation if I notice I'm jumping ahead.

Has theory of mind, though possibly underdeveloped
- Probably, I'm not sure.

May have intense all-encompassing interests, but those interests will likely change from day to day, week to week, month to month, etc
- Yes. Right now it's Albert Einstein and steaks.

Generally very open to change, to the degree that they may appear to live in a state of chaos
- Not really sure

May have difficulty with activities that tax working memory, such as reading or keeping strings of information in mind
- Awful working memory. Another spot on ADHD trait that fits me.

Can do small talk, but may not enjoy it
- Small talk is super boring. I thought it was my Asperger gene that gave me a hard time talking.

Honesty is important, but may tell white lies if the situation calls for it
- Yeah, I need to point things out even when they are to my disadvantage. "-Oh I haven't paid for that yet'

Symptoms are likely to respond to medication, usually stimulants (Adderall, Concerta, etc)
- No idea.

Can exist without hyperactivity symptoms, though some combination of both are common - women frequently have more symptoms of inattention
- Not so hyperactive anymore. Probably gone down with age and bad health. When I work out I usually go all in.

Hey Jon,

Yeah I did the same thing back in 2011 and self-diagnosed myself thinking why didn't I do this before.

The problem with doing that yourself is confirmation bias. In other words you scan retrospectively for events that might meet criteria for a diagnosis.

After carefully removing all other extraneous variables I came to the conclusion I am very NT with a predilection toward having an introverted personality type. Being introverted didn't make me autistic.

I'm in the same boat as Jon. My daughter is on the spectrum. It was my wife who thought I had similar traits to her. After taking a couple of online quizzes that put me just over the line, a lot of things started to make sense about my life. Hard time dealing with people, social cues, need for structure, they're all there. Now my focus is on trying to figure out how to get the most out of my brain.

Canadian hospitals are aiming to collect a databank of 10,000 families who have children with autism
https://www.autismspeaks.ca/media-reque ... ic-causes/

They are creating DNA bank that can predict i) the likelihood you are autistic and ii) the likelihood you will pass on the genes to another child.

Volunteering for genetic testing can be a useful tool if you are planning to have more kids

I know what you're saying and I will seek a professional diagnosis to see if they can get to the bottom of things. As I said, when doing the autism online tests I somehow felt this just ain't me. The ADHD questionary is a completely different story. I've asked my wife if she thinks my inattention is comparable to other people, and she said it's on a totally different level.

Regarding ADHD as a diagnosis I wouldn't compare it to autism at all even though there are some problems that co-occur.

Your daughter sounds a lot like I did at that age (I know people always say this when you talk about your children). I think you're doing the right thing to leave her space. They know you're lurking around her private life with your questions

What kind of label have you identified for yourself? Sound like you're thinking about asperger. No official diagnos? Have you looked into adhd?

Yes you may be onto something. ADHD is often comorbid. The genes linking ADHD are closely connected to the similar constellation of genes that express (either switch on/off) autism.

I'm not sure I want to participate in that. Both me and my wife wants a third child and we're hoping to have a NT child so the two boys will have some kind of support in life after we are gone in case they don't develop enough to be able to live an independent life. Of course that's not the only reason for having a NT child but I'm definitely not ashamed of saying that straight out. But I am not going to abort an autistic child if some doctor would come with a test that says it's going to be an autistic one. I don't like the way of going about autism either. We don't know what causes it and we don't know if we should deal with it by taking it out of our DNA pool.

I forgot to mention the talk I had with the psychiatrist yesterday. When I told her I had thoughts of seeking a diagnosis for ADHD she started to get a bit uncomfortable or, I don't know... I just had the impression she had to be very careful with what she was going to say. I asked if she thought it would be any point in doing so, and she answered that it is a possibility and that she was not entitled to label me. She also brought up the fact that she had only known me for about 2 hours but a diagnosis of ADHD could be suitable, especially because the problems I have were present from earlier in life and now with the kids it has gotten out of hand.

Jon I don't think the screening is for the purpose of prenatal testing. it's mean't to provide data for autism research but volunteering provides participants useful information on potential risks (I would caution how accurate their modelling is currently as the genome sequencing and databank is only started). It's mean't for genetic counselling but this may not apply to your family as your intentions are to have a third child regardless.




Psychologists are notorious for covering their backsides when making assessments, usually experienced psychologists are better than new ones as they will notice common denominators or patterns. If you suspect you have attentional deficits then I recommend using apps like brain games that have been found to be useful to train the brain to direct attention to tasks.

Oh BTW Jon, let's hope you get an beautiful NT girl for child number 3 who will love her older brothers and want to look after them later in life

I have several labels.  My favorite is:

Hand Wash
No Bleach
Air Dry
Do Not Iron

Are they not itchy eh?

Yeah, I'll come back and let you know if that is the only label I'll ever wear

Thank you cyber

Mine since childhood

Cyberdad

So I just had my pre-assessment the other day and thought I'd give you the follow up on this thread.

Before getting evaluated "for real" I had to be pre-assessed by a doctor, kind of a threshold to shield the psychiatrists from every other nutcase looking for ADHD medicines - as I understood it. This doctor had some experience from the psychiatry as it was her first area in the field. After about an hour we had already run out of time and she stated she just couldn't identify any ADHD in me. She said I had been fine sitting there talking to her for an hour and the people with ADHD she know of would be off their chair a long while ago . However, she said I probably fit the criterion for ADD, borderline ADD. The problem is what the goal should be with this assessment. I have a job, I have a family, I have a life without severe problems. So if I get my diagnosis - what's next? That's where we are now.

I would like to know - that's the main reason. I'm not after any medicines or coaching. I already know what I need to get structure. Notes, preparations, push myself to be more mindful at every moment. I also benefit from taking responsibility for my family. If I'm on my own it all falls apart. The biggest issue I have is to control my stress levels, and that's where we might find an "excuse" for advancing in the assessment. I have also been informed about some disadvantages with getting a diagnosis - which had me put off.

I asked her if she would write a medical letter of referral if she didn't think I had any reason for the assessment, and she said she would not write a letter in that case. She then went on to tell me she'd definitely write me a letter if that was my wish, because there was definitely "something wrong" with me (thought that was a really funny way of putting it ).

So now I need to decide where to go with this. If not then I will be another person going undiagnosed. I believe the number of people undiagnosed is huge. Just looking back at school there are four of us showing clear signs of the condition. Today two are unable to live a "normal" life. One is in the process of getting a diagnosis and the other one is just destroyed in his head by alcohol. The third one had to take anger-management courses later in life to deal with his impulses. I remember him once swinging a hockey stick against the face of a girl he got angry with and would have smashed her face had the teacher not put his hand in-between (broke his hand right away).