I may have shared similar thoughts before on this subject (and if so I apologize for repeating myself) but I think this particular issue is a bit of a mixed bag.
On the one hand, I (like you) have difficulty relating to more outspoken ASD folks who have platforms on YouTube and the like. I am not super confident and would find the experience of uploading a video to the internet for all to see really terrifying. I also find that I don't always share speech patterns/social quirks with those who post videos.
However, it doesn't really mean much, considering everyone with autism is different. I have read a couple of books by people with autism, about autism, and their life experiences can sometimes be so different from my own that it made me doubt my diagnosis. For example, I've read several accounts from autistic guys who have issues with persistently asking the same girls out despite rejection, and having the confidence to do so again and again. I on the other hand (an ASD gal) can't even fathom approaching the person who I would say I am (was? Haven't seen him in a long time) truly in love with, due to an intense fear of rejection. So am I, or the guys I'm talking about, more autistic? I don't think there's an answer to that - autism can cause someone to be oblivious to social appropriateness, therefore be overly persistent in socializing with folks, while it can also cause someone to develop social anxiety because of bad experiences, hence a lot of us are very anti-social too. Two different ways that the same condition manifests.
I hope that all made sense? I know it's not specifically about YouTubers, but it helps me understand that not everyone with ASD is like me. I've really only watched Amethyst Schaber, who I find more relatable, as I think others here do. However, I've seen videos from ASD self-advocates who seem so very different from myself. I guess it's just a different method of coming across. Keep in mind, a lot of ASD YouTubers speak to a camera by themselves, in a room, so there's no social pressure and more freedom to be oneself. Maybe the more charismatic personalities are 'masking', or imitating what they believe is the right 'YouTube' voice/way to act? I don't know, these are guesses.
Bottom line - we definitely are not all the same, those of us ASD, so it can be tough to relate to others even if we share the same condition.