Newly diagnosed..and totally confused

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Hi,
First of all, I would like to say thank you to the creators of this website. We don´t have a
similar one in Sweden so that´s why I´m so thankful for having a forum to express myself. With that being said,
I am sorry if my grammar´s not 100%.

I was diagnosed with Asperger/ADD almost a year ago which didn´t surprised me at all.
Finally, I got some answers why I put 110% in something I like and 0% in something I dislike
plus that I´ve Always been "lillgammal" (A Swedish expression for being Young and talking as an adult).

What I would like to ask you guys is:

Since I work as a private security Contractor, I work everywhere. Bars, VIP protection etc
and my job requires me to be a social guy which I don´t have any problems with. As long as I´m
wearing my uniform, I take upon a roll (Like batman )
Met a very nice women when I was working at a local pub last friday. We have many friends in common, exchanged instagram, gave each other a very intimate hug etc. We even spoke about meeting for coffee. Since that day, we have been keeping Contact although it feels like I´m the one who´s Always taking the iniative and I don´t want to be labeled as a stalker.

Since it was her idea to have a cup of coffee (hey, we swedes are famous for "fika" ), I texted her and asked if she was down with the idea and ever since, I have got no answer. For me, if you tell someone something, you stick with it. Just hate it when people don´t stand for what they say. It also makes me very emotionally frustrated and since I´m way to calm to express my feelings in public, I got this massive meltdown yesterday and called the emergency hotline just for having someone to talk to.

It just feels so weird. In my line of work, I handle high risk situations but when it comes to feelings...it´s like explaining French to a Norweigan

Hope to hear from you guys soon...rock on

Hi, asuraswe. Welcome to the forum! You're English is fantastic btw. I hope you're feeling better from yesterday. I also get emotional meltdowns from situations like this. I learned (from this forum, actually) that when people say, "let's get coffee" or "let's do lunch," it's just them being nice and is in the same vein as "How are you doing?" They don't actually care how you're doing; they're just following procedure and niceties.

From my experience of online dating in the past two years, if you're the only one taking initiative, the other person is not interested. I've had plenty of conversations with women where they don't respond unless I ask a question, and it's very frustrating . I think they respond to the questions because they like talking about themselves. Of course, and people have tried to convince me of it (and failed), she could be shy or a bad texter. It's possible but unlikely. In this day and age, I don't believe people can be bad texters.

How was the girl when you talked to her? Was she acting reserved and shy? From the pictures on her Instagram, does she seem like a shy person? I suggest not texting her for a day or two. If she doesn't reach out to you, then she's not interested and you should move on. Her loss.

It's interesting that you're mentioning the "let's go for a Coffee" thing cause' that's exactly what she said last Friday but in a more flirty way. She seemed very friendly and flirty but today when I asked if she wanted to hang out, she mentioned that she had to care if ger "date" due to a heart operation and then she's going to italy. But after that, she was on..

I just don't understand the rapid shift between flirty and now this. Its all very confusing.

On an intellectual level, I guess it's time to move on but I suppose you know how we're wired. If she doesn't reply after her trip, I guess I just have to forget about it

Hello. Welcome to Wrong Planet.

The girl might have decided she made a mistake. Or was so blitzed she doesn't remember you. Anyway, try connecting one last time. If she doesn't reply, move on.

Regarding "feelings," join the club. A lot of us have trouble explaining our feelings to ourselves, much less to a therapist or a potential significant other.

And keep using whatever crisis hotlines are available in Sweden. They can be lifesavers.

Hon vet var du arbetar. Hon vet ditt SMS-nummer.
Gör ditt bästa för att glömma henne. Om hon är intresserad vet hon hur du når dig.

She knows where you work. She knows your texting number.
Do your best to forget her. If she's interested, she knows how to reach you.

Welcome to Wrong Planet! I have a daughter-in-law and grandson who live in Stockholm. You have a beautiful country.

I was frustrated for so long thinking that when someone said "we have to get together" or "we'll talk soon," or some such suggestion that they really meant it. They don't. It's just another NT empty conversation filler. In fact, I think it is a way to end a conversation an NT is trying to get out of. An NT way of gentling their leaving.

I am glad you are here.