Askibg again (phrased better hopefully)

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This is a big problem for me and over time I noticed this pattern. So realized part of the reason ppl get annoyed ( apart from the rambling aspect is..)

they dont know what my intent is.

And i feel frustrated because i know somehow I want to communicate my emotion but i dont know which part of mt thoughts are best to convey to them.. So I either say everything or say so little that it sounds weird..


But i cannot say everything because that becomes rambles and then they have to listen and respond thinking now this person wants to engage in a long conversation ..
I just want to know how to say the gist without it sounding weird ..

I dont want to seem like i have hidden motives or something when emgaging in normal caring sort of talk..
So i try to be very brief and that reads as mean or angry.

I want to be pleasant and nice and caring or whatever ( convey that ) but
1. Not go over the top and waste their time
2. Not be abrupt and sound mean or angry. (Or they assume i was even if i have said it in a nice tone)


What's a good way to be nice to people esp ppl u dont know but not over the top.. Detached but nice
Esp if you mess up and say things awkwardly.


Which I think is probably misinterpreted as rudeness or being offended even if i try to make my tone as I feel..

I see people who basically say or do something nice but detached enough so can just move on without being dragged into a conversation amd they do it so easily that it doesn't offend anyone or make ppl mistake their intent