I'm so confused

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Hi

So, I met this girl last year at a scouting event over the summer and we got talking and over the past year we've gotten to know each other really well, like talking each day, going on trips around places and just come back from spending a month wild camping in Scotland which was great!

She knows about my condition and is probably one of the most accepting people I know and I really like her and I want to tell her how I feel but i'm worried that if she doesn't feel the same way, she might get freaked out and leave, which i really don't want to happen since we get on so well, it's like we just click. And i don't really know how to tell her tbh. I'm also worried that i'll do my usual of talking to much and keep sending messages (we don't live close) and i loose her.

The bit that really confuses me is that some days I hear from her lots and some days not so much, i get this is probably a normal thing but it feels like she doesn't want to talk to me (even though she's said directly to me that it isn't), she's also said that she needs some alone time which i get but i think i struggle to understand and not see it from her view. Again she gets why i am like i am but i sometimes feel bad and it's almost like i need the reassurance from hearing from her to know it's all ok.

I just don't really understand and i'm quite confused

Sorry for rambling a bit

Insecurity and anxiety is at play right now. If you like her in a romantic way I would sit and really think about whether to tell her or not. If you do really want a romantic relationship then I say find a nice and quiet place to talk and tell her your feelings. If she says yes, congratulations! If she says she doesn't feel that way about you take some time away to heal and then continue on as friends(this is a simplified version btw).

Though if you do plan to be in a romantic relationship with her I advise working on the insecurity and the need for reassurance. Those two things gives the other person the impression that you don't trust them.

Are there any signs she's given you that suggest she's interested in you?

The question is does she really like you or are you stuck in the friend zone my guess is if she isn't affectionate you might be stuck in the friend zone.