Why does my supervisor do this?

Post Reply New Topic

My supervisor isn't cut out to be a supervisor, even though he's been a supervisor in the same job years before I started working here.

But he keeps picking on me and finding petty things to yell at me about, and it's making me feel glum because I love my job and he's ruining things for me.

I always turn up for work promptly with a positive attitude, and I get my work done and hardly ever complain, but he keeps having bad moods lately and takes it all out on me.
But that's not the only thing he does. A couple of weeks ago he came up to me and held two large bits of rubbish (trash) up to me and said that I'd missed them even though I know I always sweep thoroughly and check behind myself. But my friend who works there said that he saw the supervisor take those two bits of rubbish out of the general waste bin (they WERE general waste) just before coming up to me with them. So I don't know what that's all about but it ain't nice.

He only does these things when he's in a bad mood, which seems to be more frequent these days, and the other day he made me cry. I don't know what's gotten into him but I wish he'd stop taking his temper out on me. It's not like he hates the job either, in fact he volunteers to put in hours of extra overtime (sometimes even unpaid) even though there's nothing else to do. He seems to like just being there and hovering around.

He's insensitive too; he says bad things about animals because he doesn't like animals, and just doesn't seem to have much compassion at all. One time I said that my cat was ill and he just said "knock it over the head" and laughed. I didn't find that very funny at the time of being sad and worried about her. But this isn't too relevant on what this thread is about.

But anyway, how do I deal with a supervisor like this? I don't like to tell the boss that he's making me feel this way because it might put him in a worse mood. He does hate his ass being kicked as it is.

He sounds like the kinds of person who is miserable and unhappy with their life, so they make themselves feel better by taking it out on people they think they can get away with it. Some people are just like that. There isn't really any rational way to deal with it. You can report him to his boss, if you think it might do any good. But as you said, it might not do anything but just make him angry again. When I have bosses or supervisors like that, I just remind myself that they're an a***hole, and that has nothing to do with me, even if they try to pin it on me. Treat their negativity as insignificant as a gnat flying headlong into the left buttock of an elephant. A tiny man trying to make himself feel big.

Now here is some very bad advice.....

If your supervisor is going to moan and whinge and bully you whatever you do, you might as well give them something to really moan about (anonymously, of course).

Leave bananas to fester in their ring binders, fill their umbrella full of hole-punch clippings, and their desk drawers full of plastic packing chips. Wedge their chair under their desk every single morning. Stick one of those randomized bleep annoyance devices in the ceiling. Whistle real ear-worm songs whenever you're working nearby. Find out what their favourite food and drinks are in the staff canteen and buy them all so they're always sold out. Make sure the floor outside their office is exceedingly well polished but at random times during each shift. Wear squeaky shoes. Push the uniform / dress code in any way you can without actually breaking it.

That kind of thing.

I never seem to last more than 2 years in any job.

If this is true then your supervisor is gaslighting you. I guess if you don't want to confront him (it is an allegation after all) then it really depends on how badly you need the job.

Um...nah, I'll pass on that one. Seems a bit too childish for my taste. And we don't have a staff canteen. It's a bus depot.

Yes. Gaslighting.

I have had some bad supervisors in my time, but never one who would deliberately do something like that.

You have a witness: a coworker who saw him take that stuff out of the trash can. Keep a diary of witnesses and of infractions(names and dates) - so you can go through proper channels- that is- go to human resources (or whatever company has) and show them your rap sheet on him. Kick his ass -but do it the right way.

Once you go down this path then there is a risk you will be labelled a troublemaker. The worst case scenario is that the supervisor is connected to upper management and they will take his side. HR will then email other organisation that Joe90 was dismissed for making a false allegation and she will struggle to get a similar job.

I am of course not saying this will happen but Joe90 should consider all the possibilities (I have seen this scenario play out more than once).

If there is a demand for cleaners then the other option is to start looking at other employers but only move once Joe90 gets an offer of employment elsewhere.

No, I am not leaving. I love my job, which is why it is a shame that my supervisor is making things hard for me. He knows I'm a good worker, because I am a good worker.

I don't actually think that management is on his side in this company. He's been complained about before by someone else for spending more time sitting about than doing some work or at least giving others a hand if he has run out of tasks to do. So the management has actually changed a few things (his working hours, etc) to prevent him slacking and to get him acting more like a supervisor than some clubhouse lout.
He hates the change, which is why he's always in a bad mood and is taking it out on me and wanting to find anything he can to yell at me about. Luckily the other co-workers are on my side and often tell him too.
I've even heard that he often lets the last worker (the one who is still there after the rest of us, except the supervisor, have gone home) go home up to 2 hours earlier than her usual finishing time - and he signs her out at her finishing time so that it looks like she was there the whole time. I will keep my mouth shut about that as it may or may not be true and it isn't really my business anyway, but knowing him he probably does let her go home early, just so he can have the whole place to himself. He seems to love being there as long as he can on his own. Which is also against the rules because it can be a health hazard (it even said somewhere that there must always be at least 2 workers on site at all times).

So he breaks a lot of rules and gets away with it because we're all so nice.

I'm so sorry, Joe. I don't have any additional advice to offer but I can relate to your pain and frustration. I had to work under someone who absolutely hated me, or at least seemed to. She would micromanage me incessantly (I HATE that) despite the fact that I had 25 years more experience than she, am an extremely hard worker, love my job, try hard to get along with everyone, pay close attention to details, and rarely deviate from the standards set down by my superiors--and sometimes exceed them. Because I could never please this woman, I started to take notes on a daily basis, trying to keep up with her intricate and constantly-changing demands. She did NOT treat anyone else on our team the way she did me. We couldn't figure out how to fix things, especially because my earliest requests for help from up above weren't answered--they were dazzled by her façade. I chose to ride it out, knowing that from day one she thought she was far too good to work with us--she said it out loud--and had no intention to stay any longer than she had to in order to climb her own ambition ladder.

She was arrogant and superficial, and while she made friends with others--including some people who were friends of mine--she failed to gain respect from my peers. I'll always be grateful for their support; I'm glad you're not alone, either.

This Joe. Good luck. Your supervisor is a sick man. Don't confront him just quietly collect and record evidence of his deliberate attempts at sabotage. Sociopaths tend to target people they see as vulnerable. Don't respond to him just document any untoward behaviour.

This is not on.

Ive worked in HR in the UK. They will need evidence before they can do anything.

Keep a diary of what he does, what time and what date. When you have enough entries to establish this as a pattern of behaviour, take it to HR or his boss. Take a copy for your own records. It would helpful if you could get other staff on board to keep their own diaries of his behaviour too.

If you go to his boss or HR, the magic phrase seems to be “beginning to be a real problem.”

Yes, even though it has clearly been a problem for some time now, they’re going to still need to go through their steps. And your statement rather acknowledges that.

And as I’m sure you know there’s both a plus and a minus. The sooner you get started, the sooner his boss and/or HR can start wth their steps . . . But, this clown might up the ante and increase the level of his criticism and unfairness.

The friend who saw him take something out of the trash, is she okay with you reporting this?

Because if she is, this is as good as gold. It’s only been a couple of weeks. Also talk about the other things he’s done before and after, thereby bracketing the trash incident. Maybe the five things overall which you consider the biggest.

If it feels right, consider possibly giving him a heads up. “Our of respect, I want to tell you that I’m going to have to go to ________ [main boss]. I’m sorry, but it’s just been too much. Out of respect, I’m giving you a heads up.”

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do this. For he absolutely will use the time to come up with what he’s going to say, including lies and half-truths.

And you can just be very calm when you talk with the main boss. For example, calming saying in response to a question, “No, I don’t think that’s true.”

In the HR time frame, it is definitely not too late to report him taking items out of the trash, especially if there are other things both before and after which you feel comfortable reporting as well.

Actually that's quite a mature way of looking at the situation. I have worked in many jobs where I (in my capacity as employee) had to manage a wayward employer in order to complete my job.

Ironically there's lots of good employees who have to manage their less competent direct reports, its yet another skill you need in the workforce unfortunately.

Exactly my point. Thats why I said document everything so she can prove that the accusations are not false.

Agrees with this idea !

Good point, additionally keep a diary detailing incidents with dates in case its ever needed.