Parents rejected me after Aspergers diagnosis

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Ghulam Asadiq
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12 Nov 2020, 6:28 pm

I was wondering if it's commonplace for ethnicities like Pakistanis to reject their son/daughter if they are diagnosed with any disabilities, mental health problems or otherwise not neurotypical?

I was born in the UK but my parents are from Pakistan and when I received my Aspergers Syndrome diagnosis at the age of 6, my parents tried to have me put into something called 'foster care', but I never did.

My parents focused more of their time and efforts into my neurotypical brother and sister and won't acknowledge any successes in my life.

I read somewhere that it's culturally the norm for people from countries like Pakistan or India etc to reject son/daughters after an ASD/Aspergers Syndrome diagnosis.


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I am casually disfunctional. Diagnosed with Aspergers aged 6 and Bipolar aged 19.


Mountain Goat
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12 Nov 2020, 7:28 pm

It is sad as they fail to see is the hidden tallents you have.

One thing I want to tell you. It is NOT your fault, and YOU are a blessing.



timf
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13 Nov 2020, 9:08 am

It is sad, but there are circumstances that can arise where the child must be the parent. If you consider the circumstances that existed for your parents, it may be understandable why they view things the way that they do.

Consider someone whose parents were raised with a simple almost cartoon view of life. They went to college and got professional degrees and started their family. When they encountered difficulties, they turned to alcohol (which never really makes anything better). As a result, the child raised in an environment of bitter recriminations and drunken abuse would have to make his own way as best he could in the world.

One might even see an advantage in being raised in difficult circumstances over pleasant ones, in that the parents raised in pleasant ones seemed less able to live a "successful" life.

The key to moving on from such difficulties is transcendence. From this perspective one can appreciate that being ignored is better than being beaten, having pity is better than fostering bitterness, and having a perspective of understanding allows for compassion.

I found transcendence in Christianity (not the packaged Christianity of denominations). It took a lot of work getting past the many strange ways it is presented. I considered Buddhism, but it seemed to me that the transcendence they pursue in the sublimation of desire was more like losing something than gaining something. I am not sure about other religions, but without transcendence, difficult circumstances can be crippling.