Where do I belong?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm from France with British origins, I was diagnosed with a pervasive developmental disorder at 3 years old. After my week at the hospital I was starting to obsessively question myself about what specifier I belong between classical Autism, Aspergers and PDD-NOS. I made a list of the symptoms I exhibit.

I was way too calm when I was a baby until I made extreme tantrums until it stopped.
Social deficits:
- I am not interested in being with others, I am a very isolated person.
- I find it hard to respond to simple courtesy.
- I had a minor language delay.
- To be honest, I geniunely don't care about people's feelings.
- I have difficulties understanding abstract concepts.
x After taking several tests, I scored average on recognition of emotions.
x My mom told my psychologist that I had learnt "a lot" of social skills by myself.
Repetitive behaviors:
- I often twitch my hands and fingers.
- My interests are very limited.
- I tend to overreact to sounds a little, they do not hurt or overwhelm me either.
- That was recent, but I tend to pace (and rock back and forth) a lot and I'm EXTREMELY impatient
x I hate routines, rituals and schedules, I'm more of a spontaneous person
Additional symptoms:
- Lack of motivation.
- Suffering from delusions since 3 years (I'm under antipsychotics) and even right now there are some people I can't put my trust in.
- Severe anxiety, I'm under anxiolytics.
- Recently was depressed, now I'm under antidepressants.
- Hypertonia (possibly, I don't remember very well)
- Motor incoordination
- Issues with mathematical concepts

I know of one place where you belong. Here on WP.

Welcome by the way.

It is not unusual to encounter those in the medical psychological industrial complex who excel at classification and labeling. This produces an aura of professionalism and allows a significant income to be derived from the control they attempt to exert over those easily impressed with superficiality.

What many discover is that labels are rather useless. It is more helpful to discover what management or coping skills can be acquired. This is often done through experimentation and with assistance from others who are also attempting to navigate through the social milieu with a neurological variant that resists becoming a compliant component in a social machine.

There are several problems that can result from thinking that "professionals" are experts whose skills are beneficial.

1. Relying on their recommendations can cause one to neglect his own attempts to learn skills.
2. Being medicated is not always a solution. This can be compounded with multiple medications.
3. Seeing yourself in an ill-fitting pigeon hole.
4. Having others treat you as "one of those".
5. Seeing differences as defects.

Professionals often see you as someone who needs to be managed. We tend to see ourselves as someone who could benefit from learning how to navigate difficulties. For example suppose some of your anxiety is related to what some call ADHD. So-called professionals might call this a co-morbid condition. I suspect that it is just another neurological variant. Some have found amphetamines to be helpful in accelerating the body to match the neurology and reduce anxiety. This might be worth exploring. Since a professional who has already made a diagnosis is unlikely to consider making a different one, you might not be able to get a prescription for amphetamines with which to experiment. You could use high doses of caffeine to see if that makes things better or worse.

This is just one example of taking a controlling interest in your situation to see how you can make things improve for yourself. If you are satisfied with what they have done for you, you should continue to rely on their ministrations. However, if you feel that they have not done an adequate job, you may wish to experiment to see what improvements you can achieve parallel to or even in place of their efforts.

I second what CockneyRebel said.

I hope you eventually get some answers but I was 64 before I even suspected I had mild autism so I am obviously not a likely choice for diagnostic help.

love this answer! it's a spectrum, we are all here because admittedly we are all a bit odd

You've come to the right online community, so welcome to Wrong Planet!