Hello I just joined

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Hi All,

This year has been a crazy blur, topped by the fact that a couple of months ago I realized I most likely have ASD after stumbling on to others' personal experiences on a women's forum. I went through a rollercoaster of disbelief ("I thought everyone was like this and I'm just particularly bad at managing") to anger when I realized how many signs there were when I was child that adults just ignored to exhaustion/defeat when I realized life isn't just going to get better as I always thought. I'm stuck like this and I'm dealing with burnout and just not able to manage as well as I used to.

I began consuming any information I could: online posts, articles, took a couple of tests/crossed off checklists, downloaded audiobooks, bought e-books and physical books, webinars/virtual events through my old university, etc. I live in Florida, USA and after searching around a lot I found out there aren't a lot of resources/opportunities for diagnosis for adults in my area, but I do have an evaluation scheduled in late February that I pray goes through (a couple of opportunities have already fallen apart).

I don't want to ramble too long, but I think I'm just desperate for that feeling of finding a tribe. I have yet to really speak with other people (especially women) with ASD and I'm feeling a bit discouraged and like I have to figure it all out on my own and just deal with it in my internal world. Right now I'm really struggling with work and the high amount of socializing and masking that goes along with having coworkers that aren't empathetic enough to just let me be. It's made most work days miserable. I am also a 30 year old black woman, which I know is not too old to be diagnosed, but my age and race just make the experience all the more lonelier, at least in my city. I'd like to connect with other people who have had similar experiences and maybe make a few friends along the way (I really miss having online friends).

Welcome to WP! I suspect you will like it here.

And, I'm a guy, but I'll mention that some of the local ladies are kind, helpful, and impressive. I suspect you might really like them!

Hello and Welcome to Wrong Planet. I am glad you are here.

I did not find out I had autism until I was almost 64 years old. I kind of figured it out like you have. What is ironic is I work with people who have developmental disabilities and some of my clients have autism, but I never saw it in myself until I stumbled on an article about professional women with autism and I realized that is where I fit. I never fit into any category, or like you said "tribe" until then.

Overall, it has been a positive experience for me. I think you will find others here you can relate to. BTW, I also live in Florida.

Hello. Welcome.... I found that burnout hits hard and takes ages to recover from. But don't worry. Try to take it easy as much as you can. And any questions please ask.

Welcome to WP!

Hello and welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP!

I'm not sure yet if the etiquette is to reply to each post individually, but for now I'll just do a quick "reply-all" post. Thank you all so much for welcoming me. I already feel a bit better though I'm very new to everything. I'm not quite sure where to get started so I may just poke around and read a bit more until I feel comfortable replying.

Good plan!

Probably you should read the "rules".

"Etiquette"?! Try to be nice, follow the rules, and not upset the Moderators. Sigh. The degree of niceness you get in return will vary by forum, topic, time of day, person, what they had for breakfast, which way the wind is blowing...and other factors I haven't figured out yet.

Beware of the "The Haven". Read its special rules and wipe your feet before you go in there!!

Anyway, Welcome!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I would like to suggest a book. It doesn't really focus on Aspies/Autistics but it does explain how the human body processes stress the cause of burnouts. Aspies experience significantly more stress than the average individual.

The book is called "In An Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine.

Hi and a very warm welcome, fae . You’re by no means alone. I was a workaholic and wound up becoming ill with pneumonia, then pleurisy ... throwing myself into my work was a way for me to not deal with innumerable things affecting me, the past as well as stopping for a moment to question who and what I really was. I was 26 when that happened. Understanding who you are, why certain things affect you as they do, making peace with yourself over what you need in order to cope in this life, goes a long way. If you’re on the spectrum, diagnosis or no diagnosis, your Sense of Self will be ever fragile, but you can allow and adopt for yourself the necessary changes you might need in order to get by.

If you’re on the spectrum, you’ll be referenced to people, settings, routines and you will require alone time in order to recharge your batteries. I found that once I made changes eg went from working a 6 day week, 5:30am to 9:30pm to a 4 day week, I could start allowing myself more time to unmask and create, rather than being “on” all the time, which leads to burnout.

Being able to work day in, day out, but to feel in control of simply doing it “your way” whatever “your way” requires(eg spending your lunch break in your car alone, de-stressing), not being “socially there” for co-workers, when you don’t have the energy to put into interactions(which should otherwise be fun/enjoyable) ... giving yourself permission to actively practice effective self care, is very important. Those who aren’t on the spectrum, those who cannot understand how life “happens” to someone having to work doubly hard at processing, communicating etc etc, seriously know not what they do, when they expect you to handle matters as they do. You will wind up like a spring, so tightly wound, and your mental health will suffer.

Researching and learning all that you can and there’s so much to absorb when awareness is new, was part of the process for me too. It can be so hard to switch off, not to go over things like a hamster on a treadmill, even for the good things that happen, as many of us tend to feel more, not less. Things can become amplified. Recognise that you need down time and outlets for release. Anxiety is our dominant emotion. Take Care. X

Welcome to wrong planet, diagnosis and autism itself is a lot to sort out. Loads of good info and good folks on the forums/pages here. Self care always first, be kind to yourself as you work through it all. Finally diagnosed at age 67, 3 days before my 68th birthday. Finding reliable diagnosing professionals for adults, especially women, and for minorities is another struggle indeed. Cheering you on. Glad you are with us.