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Minuteman
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30 Dec 2020, 9:03 pm

Nothing drives me crazier than a barber trying to make small talk with me when I'm getting a haircut. Just do your job, let me pay you and I'll see you again in a few months. Pre-diagnosis I never knew why it bugged me so much. Now at least I know there's a reason for it.

Anyone else feel that way about barbers/stylists?



Mountain Goat
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30 Dec 2020, 9:06 pm

I just have a hard time with skin sensitivity and tiny bits of hair poking into me so I can only have my hair cut at home.



Steffipanda
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30 Dec 2020, 9:43 pm

I just inform the person cutting my hair that I am a quiet person. Most of time this works for avoiding small talk for me.



auntblabby
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30 Dec 2020, 10:07 pm

i stopped getting haircuts in 2013, before that i did the job myself to myself.



The Grand Inquisitor
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30 Dec 2020, 11:12 pm

I find that if you give brief responses to the barber/stylist rather than actively engaging in and contributing to the conversation, the conversation doesn't tend to last long.

What I don’t like about barber visits is the fact that most places (at least in my area) are more inclined to offer walk-in cuts, so there's a good chance I get a different barber every time, which means I don’t know whether I'm going to be happy with the end result or not. I tend to get both a haircut and beard trim, and I'm somewhat particular about what I want, so it can be a bit overwhelming trying to make sure I remember to mention everything I want (and don't want) the barber to do, and how I want them to do it.

Earlier this month, I had a barber whose listening skills apparently weren't very good, who cut off a lot more beard than I wanted to lose. It'll probably take about 6 months for my beard to make a full recovery.To say that I'm pissed about it would be an understatement.

I've resolved that I'm only going to get my hair and beard cut at places where I can book an appointment and ensure I get the same person every time from now on. The barber lottery sucks.

Perhaps getting the same person each time would be a solution for you as well. If that person comes to understand that you don't like small talk, they probably won't make small talk with you.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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31 Dec 2020, 1:07 am

I have always hated haircuts. It's always too bright and noisy. The stylists are usually very chatty so I feel awkward. Having the poncho garb thingy around my neck is absolutely awful (things touching the front of my neck is a major sensory issue). I struggle to communicate what I want my hair to look like and it takes me a while to process the differences. But perhaps the worst part is the change. I put off getting it cut so once I finally do, even a simple trim makes my hair look too different and I almost always have a meltdown or shutdown from it.

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I find that if you give brief responses to the barber/stylist rather than actively engaging in and contributing to the conversation, the conversation doesn't tend to last long.


This has been my conclusion as well.



auntblabby
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31 Dec 2020, 1:20 am

i wonder how many people here are aware that there are do-it-yourself alternatives to going to the barber shop.



The Grand Inquisitor
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31 Dec 2020, 5:45 am

auntblabby wrote:
i wonder how many people here are aware that there are do-it-yourself alternatives to going to the barber shop.

I've tried to trim my beard before but I have difficulty with it both due to the fact that my vision isn't great (my right eye is significantly worse than my left eye) and because I'm obsessively critical of the symmetry when I do it myself and I can never get it perfect.



auntblabby
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31 Dec 2020, 5:52 am

when i had a nominal beard, it was never symmetrical due to the fact that when the creator made me, it was in a hurry from leftover irregular cast-off parts on a friday afternoon at quitting time, so my whole being is asymmetrical. ;)



ezbzbfcg2
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31 Dec 2020, 6:03 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I find that if you give brief responses to the barber/stylist rather than actively engaging in and contributing to the conversation, the conversation doesn't tend to last long.

Well said. Oftentimes the barber will simply talk to other people sitting around waiting for their haircuts while he continues cutting your hair. I've noticed most of those folks actually enjoy the interaction with the barber, as if it's like more than half the equation of getting a haircut.

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
What I don’t like about barber visits is the fact that most places (at least in my area) are more inclined to offer walk-in cuts, so there's a good chance I get a different barber every time, which means I don’t know whether I'm going to be happy with the end result or not.

I do believe in barbershop etiquette. One time, some teenager was ahead of me, but he let me go first because he didn't like the next available barber. I didn't mind, per se, I don't really care who cuts my hair, but I'd never do something like that if the roles were reversed. Seems impolite.

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Earlier this month, I had a barber whose listening skills apparently weren't very good, who cut off a lot more beard than I wanted to lose.

Funny, I'm envious. Where I am, barbers won't touch my beard because of COVID. It's hair on the head only, mask on. When they go behind the ears, they expect the customer to hold that side of the mask up. I guess in Australia, or in your state in Australia, they're still trimming/shaving/buzzing beards. Luck you.



FleaOfTheChill
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31 Dec 2020, 7:41 am

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
I have always hated haircuts. It's always too bright and noisy. The stylists are usually very chatty so I feel awkward. Having the poncho garb thingy around my neck is absolutely awful (things touching the front of my neck is a major sensory issue). I struggle to communicate what I want my hair to look like and it takes me a while to process the differences.


I feel that on a spiritual level.

I just got my hair cut yesterday. it was overgrown and uncomfortable; I put off the haircut for too long. With me, I like the end result. I feel better once the extra hair is gone. it's a challenge to get myself to actually get it cut and keep it short. I wish I was better about maintaining my hair, but I am not.

I found a haircutting place that isn't busy or loud. I go early in the day when there are less people. I also told the person who cuts my hair that I do have sensory issues, so if I'm not chatty, that is why. She is polite to me, but doesn't try to talk to me. I tip the hell out of her and make appointments with her in advance. It works. I also show her a picture of what I want so I don't even have to say what I want her to do if it's something beyond a trim.

But yeah, chatty barbers make me nuts. I feel the same way about chatty tattoo artists. I'm not there to socialize.



auntblabby
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31 Dec 2020, 7:51 am

how many other WPers besides me don't worry about cutting their hair, just let it grow? as they say in "hair" [the musical], "no need to cut it, it stops [growing] by itself." :afro:



Mountain Goat
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31 Dec 2020, 9:27 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i wonder how many people here are aware that there are do-it-yourself alternatives to going to the barber shop.

I've tried to trim my beard before but I have difficulty with it both due to the fact that my vision isn't great (my right eye is significantly worse than my left eye) and because I'm obsessively critical of the symmetry when I do it myself and I can never get it perfect.


Trying to align the scissors using a mirror is almost impossible. I have done it but most of the time I will be cutting fresh air no where near my beard!



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31 Dec 2020, 10:14 am

I cut my own hair with clippers for the first time this year. The second time I did it, I did a really bad job. I still prefer that to going to a hairdressers or barbers. They spend the whole time not-so-subtly insulting me, and never actually do what I want them to. However often I say "Don't leave me with a huge droopy fringe you're supposed to saturate with hair gel," they always leave me with a huge droopy fringe you're supposed to saturate with hair gel. I prefer to have fairly long hair, but I'd rather cut it back down to bedrock every six months than deal with any more of those idiots. Good riddance.


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Fireblossom
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31 Dec 2020, 11:11 am

They aren't all that chatty with me... maybe I don't give long enough answers? Or maybe it's my resting-you-know-what -face. I haven't gone to one for a few years, though.



The Grand Inquisitor
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31 Dec 2020, 1:34 pm

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
What I don’t like about barber visits is the fact that most places (at least in my area) are more inclined to offer walk-in cuts, so there's a good chance I get a different barber every time, which means I don’t know whether I'm going to be happy with the end result or not.

I do believe in barbershop etiquette. One time, some teenager was ahead of me, but he let me go first because he didn't like the next available barber. I didn't mind, per se, I don't really care who cuts my hair, but I'd never do something like that if the roles were reversed. Seems impolite.


I think it's reasonable to do that if you've established a rapport with the barber you're waiting for. I don't think anyone can reasonably be offended by that. Especially after my recent experience, I'd rather take the small risk of hurting a barber's feelings and get someone I already know will do a good job than risk getting someone who doesn't listen or doesn't ask questions.

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Earlier this month, I had a barber whose listening skills apparently weren't very good, who cut off a lot more beard than I wanted to lose.

Funny, I'm envious. Where I am, barbers won't touch my beard because of COVID. It's hair on the head only, mask on. When they go behind the ears, they expect the customer to hold that side of the mask up. I guess in Australia, or in your state in Australia, they're still trimming/shaving/buzzing beards. Luck you.

Yeah, we have barely any or no community transmission of COVID in my state at the moment. It's been that way for months, so we don't have to reckon with many restrictions.