Chocolate Fireguard.

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http://www.ichthuswebdesign.com/wp-cont ... eguard.jpg

While it is novel to make things out of chocolate, I don't think this is going to work as won't it melt?

It is quite obviously a non-existent fictional joke product made into an internet meme for a laugh.. not actually real and for sale.

That is my conclusion as well because ordinary fireguards get hot.

Add some graham crackers and marshmallows and you’ll have Somemores.

This follows the "That's as much use as...." convention, for writing things off as completely useless.

That's as much use as:
a chocolate fireguard
a chocolate teapot
tits on a bull
a fart in a windsock
nuns in a knocking shop

etc. etc.

That's as useful as...
... a chocolate chisel
... a concrete parachute
... a fart in a space suit
... a flood in a Fizzy factory
... a flush handle on a slop bucket
... a glass hammer
... a handbrake on a canoe
... a knitted condom
... a screen door on a submarine
... a wooden frying-pan
... an ashtray on a Harley
... an inflatable dartboard
... bacon in Baghdad
... condoms in a dog kennel
... lipstick on a pig
... porn to a blind man

That's as much use as:

indicators on a BMW
a packet of rubber nails
an inflatable anvil
concentrated water powder
a surfboard with handlebars
a solar-powered foghorn
an underwater fish tank
a see-through mirror
a one legged man in an arse-kicking competition

Friend of a Facebook friend mentioned when we were discussing motorcycles & aerodynamics, backpacks, windshields etc that he smokes doobs & cigs while riding down the highway on his bike that has fairings, a tall windshield & fork mounted air splitters.. makes a nice windbreak wall in front of him so he can smoke while he's cruising down the highway.. so, as long as he could grip his joint w/ motorcycle gloves on, if he wanted to be environmentally responsible and not litter any ashes, mmmmmaaaaybe he could make use of one. :p

/\He should get a vape pen.

I like the chocolate teapot.