Hoping to meet new people and make new friends

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Hi, my name is Emily and I'm a 34/f from MN. I have a very small social support network where I live because I am not good at developing friendships with new people. However, I'm not giving up. I'd like to meet others on the Autism Spectrum but they don't have to be. I want to meet someone I can be myself with and not have to worry too much about trying to emulate NT's. I hope I meet someone who I can someday meet in person. I love books and movies, (I liked the show Atypical) I have three cats (and no I'm not a crazy cat lady, they were all strays originally and now I've been with the oldest one for 16 years. I live in a one bedroom apartment and work part-time as a student worker at my college. I am taking one class at a time (currently anatomy and physiology) and doing them all online. I was born in South Korea and then came to be adopted in the United States at four months old. When I was 21, I discovered I had a twin sister. I've had struggles with substance abuse but am doing alright currently. I'm a lightening fast texter, and I love texting and email because I can organize my thoughts in a way that I can't do when talking on the phone. I'm up for talking about anything except politics. I want someone I can talk to when I'm bored, sad, mad, lonely and the like and in return, you will get a confidante will be there for you as well. I don't want to check for replies every day on this site, so in addition to checking occasionally, I am going to add my email to this post. [email address removed] Hope to hear from you!

Last edited by Cornflake on 19 Feb 2021, 8:30 am, edited 1 time in total.: Redacted email address for safety concerns

hello
nice to meet you
people are very friendly and generally well behaved on this forum (in my experience)

keep in mind that people mostly have ASD
so not all of us are very good at small talk

people are generally well meaning and helpful
with quiet a few really helpful / friendly

most of the members appear to be from the US
with a few from the UK

so you should meet all sorts
there are quiet a few different people here

different people are drawn to various people
some to less

like i say, most members have ASD
so not all of us are super outgoing
but that is normal for the abnormal


anyway pleased to meet you
welcome

Welcome.

Thank you. Yes I am fully aware that people with autism find small talk difficult. I was diagnosed when I was 24 and I'm not good at small talk either. If that's what you think my post was, it was more of an introduction w/ facts about myself. I guess seeing as we are all different, we may all have different definitions of smalltalk. Anyone who wants to jump right in with the meat and potatoes, go ahead. I thought that's what I did.

I'm not sure trying to make friends via internet forums is the best way.
I've tried since the early 90ies and never succeded.
Also be aware of what personal information you give, it may be used by bad people. I'm bad at that myself, but I'm a man so... Eh I don't mean that women are weaker than men, but perhaps more likely to get abused.

/Mats

Meat and potatos? Here we have that for a sunday meal.

Do you have any interesting hobbies?

Yep. I think we all need people whom we can be ourselves with. Welcome to WP!


In that case you should probably look for some local autistic adult support groups, in addition to posting here. I would suggest that you try:

1. This listing of Zoom groups (if you don't mind Zoom chats) on the website of the Autism Society of Minnesota, including "Women’s Support Group", "Independent Adults with ASD Support Group", and "Topic Support Group".

2. Meetup.com. Use the search feature to look for groups with topics like "autism" and "Asperger syndrome." (You'll probably find mostly groups for parents of autistic kids, but there will likely be some groups for autistic adults too.) Currently (during COVID lockdown) most of these groups will likely be meeting via Zoom, although some might also use text-based chat (which I guess you would probably prefer based on what you said elsewhere in your post).

Most of the above groups, in both categories, will probably meet in-person again after the COVID crisis is over with.


Most of us here on this site prefer to get to know people via text-based group discussions before contacting other members privately, either via private message or via email.

Welcome! I'll send you an email so we can chat
I have a college friend in MN who I can put you in contact with as well as an older colleague from there who is a warm person and a great person to talk to.

To those of you who welcomed me, thank you. I am aware that there are groups held by the autism society and I have gone to them off and on since 2012. I think I am allowed to make friends through any venue that allows me to, and I appreciate the words of caution but don’t appreciate being told to go somewhere else. You should not assume this is my first or only attempt at reaching out.

I also struggle with anxiety about meeting new people in person because I can’t always remember their faces and names that go with faces. I am aware that many people like to socialize in groups but because I have autism (my autism, as I only speak for myself) , I’m not good at that, in person or online. It is hard for me to follow multiple conversation threads at once but I am willing to do it. Let me repeat that: I am willing and happy to do it. My preference would have been to respond to you all individually rather than this one post, and I still welcome a private message from anyone who also finds it easier to communicate one one.

As a forum for people with autism, I would think it would be immediately obvious that we all have different communication styles and social skills. And thank you mcsquared, I will keep an eye out for your email. I definitely need more warm people in my life.

PS. By “meat and potatoes” I meant conversation that is NOT small talk or gets to what you want to say without needing a “padding” of small talk on either side.

Hello Emily and welcome

I returned to WP to meet new people and to make friends with those who are on the spectrum. I too love talking about anything and everything that is on my mind, although I do feel that I can go slightly overboard in a sense.

Welcome to WrongPlanet Emily .